Quitting hair dye and embracing the grey

[ittakestwo]

I've decided to quit the hair dye. I'm sick of the whole routine and damage it's doing to my hair.

At the moment I've got about 1inch of grey roots and have noticed that I'm salt and pepper through most of my hair but I will have a clear white stripe at the front.

I've mentioned my intentions to some colleagues and friends as they have felt the need to comment on my roots!! They have responded with shock and horror (I'm 45 btw).
I'm not really bothered by what other people think but would love to hear about other peoples experiences who have chosen to dump the dye.

YY Dozer. A friend of mine (not British, from a very 'direct-speaking' country) said beforehand: "OMG you'll look SO OLD! It's such a mistake!" etc. We haven't discussed it since as i could do without more BS. She dyes her hair coloyrs that do not suit her and has the white inch every few weeks... I have reserved my comments because i'm nice!

Fwiw i do love my friend, but she is a direct bugger!

ElQuinto I had a sister in law like that. When I was only just getting to know the family when she asked me if I'd ever thought of a nose job! Yes, I have a noble beak but, wow, wasn't expecting that. Definitely from one of the "direct speaking" nations 😂

Dozer: I DON'T CARE!! I honestly DO NOT care about the social pressure, yada yada. I look better with brown hair, simple as that. I've seen you beating the same drum on other threads about grey hair and it's actually rather patronising. My hair, my choice.

It's almost 3 years since I last dyed , I was never achieving a colour I wanted , naturally very dark I was going lighter to try to hide the roots but it always ended up brassy . I read a thread on here and decided to try to grow it out . I lasted 6 month then just cut all the dye out , for me it was the best thing and I don't miss the dreaded skunk line every 4 weeks . I don't care what anyone else thinks , it's my hair . Not had any really bad comments up to now . I have a 10 year old and I'm 51 so if any one thinks I'm his gran I wouldn't be offended as I could be !

Bagel holy cow words fail me!

dramarama that looks lovely!

I do post on threads on this issue, yes! It’s a forum and posters can post on whatever issues we choose!

I don’t consider it patronising to highlight sexism/inequality.

You don't have to endure the "skunk" line - this is a common misconception!!!!!

If you go to a good hairdresser, you can get highlights (blonde, caramel, dark mix, whatever) and this will make it look much much better as grey grows out. As its nearly grown out you can decide whether to keep it highlighted, all grey, other colours, etc.

BUT it really looks fine when growing out like this!

p.s. my grey hair definitely suits me more. I have a few blonde bits at the front thats about it.

Sometimes it does mean I'm mistaken for "older", usually by the young who see grey hair and add 10 years. But some of this would probably would have happened anyway - I'm in my mid-50s.

But actually I think it makes me look younger deluded? The silver / white tones definitely are softer. The dark brown dye suddenly looked quite "hard" on me one day in my early 50s, I was fed up with the skunk line I had to dye every 3 weeks, and the rest is history.

But equally I think if women want to keep dying their hair thats fine too.

Dozer - why fixate on hair dye? Do you get equally aerated about women who:

Wear make up?
Shave their legs and armpits?
Trim their public hair?
Wear jewellery?
Have their hair long, or in a style which needs blow drying, straightening, tonging, rather than a functional short back and sides?
Wear high heels?
Have cosmetic surgery, fillers or treatments like Botox?
Wear Spanx or padded bras?
Thread, pluck or wax facial hair?
Dye their eyebrows and eyelashes?
Have cosmetic dentistry?
Paint their fingernails and toenails?

They are all part of the same spectrum.

I have seen plenty of women on the grey hair threads say they have to ensure they now have to a really good haircut, or wear more make up/bright lipstick to carry off grey hair. I've not seen you jump on them for their internalised sexism.

I haven’t had a go at anyone for hair dying or anything else.

Almost all of us conform, and understandably so. But the intense social pressure to do so - and the way we often internalise this - is really annoying and sexist. And often there is ageism combined with sexism. We can object to this and still conform.

Dying hair is considerably costlier, more time consuming and riskier health wise than hair removal or “budget” make up. But cheaper and less risky than botox - also becoming mainstream where I live - and cosmetic surgery.

"We can object to this and still conform." Contradictory much?

My hair dye costs about £5.99 so not costly at all. Not everyone spends hours and £££ in a salon. I do it at home and get on with other stuff for the 30 minutes it's on my head.

I've had my hair all colours including grey, blonde highlights, red tones, and brunette. The colour that suits me best is brunette so I dye it. It really is as simple as that. If the grey suited me better then I'd have it grey.

Please don't try to attribute deeper motives to my actions, or that I'm too obtuse or uneducated to realise what's actually going on with regard to my own hair colour; you know nothing about me as a person and it is that particular tone which I find patronising.

I agree with dozer about objecting to the sexism but still conforming. I consider it sexist that women are largely expected to colour their hair when they get older but men who colour their hair are largely laughed at. Therefore men are allowed to age naturally and women are not. Obviously not everyone feels this way but I think society places this pressure on us and I object to it strongly. BUT I conform and colour my hair because I don’t want people to think all those things of me. We are allowed to be contradictory, we are human! I am not confident enough to break away from this but I wish I was, doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to object to a sexism that I feel controls me

I just want to see if it suits me and all the pictures that are being shared are encouraging. I’ve got nothing to lose and lots of money and time spent dyeing to save.

You seem to be reading things into my posts that are not written, Margot.