Quitting hair dye and embracing the grey

[ittakestwo]

I've decided to quit the hair dye. I'm sick of the whole routine and damage it's doing to my hair.

At the moment I've got about 1inch of grey roots and have noticed that I'm salt and pepper through most of my hair but I will have a clear white stripe at the front.

I've mentioned my intentions to some colleagues and friends as they have felt the need to comment on my roots!! They have responded with shock and horror (I'm 45 btw).
I'm not really bothered by what other people think but would love to hear about other peoples experiences who have chosen to dump the dye.

I love my grey hair. I went in my 30s and kept my hair short in a French crop for years. Then had kids and never had time for hair cuts so it grew out. I have a curly inverted bob. I invest in a decent cut every 10 weeks and keep hair bright with the purple Lush shampoo.

My allergy to hair dye came in the form of itchy scalp and big painful sores, especially around the hairline at the back of my head. Got to the stage that every time I dyed it the sores would appear within hours. They would calm down just in time for the next root coverup. It was hideous and made my decision to stop dyeing a necessity.

Could someone explain the 'purple shampoo' comments to me? I certainly don't want a purple hue but if it just lifts the natural colour that would be great .

User the purple shampoo counters brassiness. It really brightens my grey - makes it whiter. No purple hues!!

Thanks soupmaker, I've got ash blonde bits which never go brassy.What I'd love is to go steel/salt & pepper grey rather than white. Might give the purple a go though.

I stopped dying mine 2 years ago.. just got fed up of the faff.
The first 4 or 5 months were not fun, but after that it looked deliberate, and I was past caring! I did cut it shorter (and have grown it and cut it again since) and mine is salt and pepper with a white streak at the front.
I love the freedom from roots, and it's so much healthier. Now and again I miss my colour but my (adult) kids have told me not to colour it again and dh is grey and bald so we match!

I'm 37 and I have been growing out the dye since September. My hair is dark brown and curly, so the curl helped at first to mask the regrowth, but there's no hiding it now! Any negative / horrified comments about it spur me on even more to keep at it!
I feel so much freer since I decided to do this. I would get stressed out after 3 weeks of growth!

This thread has led me to googling allergic reactions to hair dye! Terrifying! I had a black henna tattoo years ago which apparently increases your risk of a reaction. What do I do now? I always said at least another 5 years of dying but I'm scared now!!! Has my decision been taken out of my hands??

I let my grey hair come in, and I looked shit. Happier now it's brown again. I couldn't give a flying fart if it's internalised sexism, or what men choose to do or whatever. It's a choice personal to me and I won't make any excuses for it.

It's vanity, simple as that; I know what makes me look best. And the amount of friends and family who had politely smiled and nodded when I went grey, then said "I didn't want to say anything when you were grey, but you suit being a brunette so much more!" when I dyed it again, simply reinforced my opinion. I'm happy with my choice. I'm not going to walk around looking and feeling like crap just to strike a blow for some perceived anti-sexist cause.

I'm increasingly allergic to hir dye. It started with a mild itch. Now it's an intense itch, which, if I dye my hair just before bed will actually wake me up it's that bad.

So I've had to stop using a couple of brands that did a good job of covering my grey as I can't use them without risking more intense allergic reactions.

I know I could buy expensive organic dyes, but can't be bothered. At the moment the age defy stuff doesn't make me itch. But it's also not very good at covering the grey.

Strangely, I quite like it. It more blends the greys rather than covering them all. If the sun shines strongly on my head you can see the grey more, but I'm avoiding the badger stripe effect. So I'm sticking with that dye for as long as possible as long as I don't start being allergic to that one too. Hopefully, eventually, the whole of my hair will be blended in rather than covered. Which is better than a helmet of dark hair. And might be a step closer to then stopping dying altogher.

I'm 41 and grew mine out a few years ago and I love it! I get compliments all the time - most recent from the young barmaid when I was out last night. I always had long hair and I'll be honest the first 5 months were tough because people hold conversations with the top of your head and feel free to say things like "you'll look awful, you'll look old, you're letting yourself go etc" even though they wouldn't dream of saying "your roots are showing" if youre behaving yourself and keeping up the dye But it gave me loads of confidence because if you can go to job interviews and parties with 5 inches of roots showing it frees you of some of the self-consciousness we have if always aiming to look perfect. Anyway I fell in love with it and then really liked the ombré stage, cut it up to shoulder length after a year, then grew it long again. It's never been in better condition and I LOVE not having to constantly dye it and time events round hair appointments. Best thing I ever did.

starsandstuff, that's beautiful!

Aw thanks

Oh this is brilliant - I have been thinking about embracing the grey and I've really enjoyed reading this thread. And you all look so beautiful.
That grombe Instagram account is very inspiring.
I have short hair anyway so I think I could grow it out pretty quickly - it's not fully grey but there are grey hairs throughout and I am curious to see what it looks like. It will be quite a change though: I've got dyed red hair which I've had for ages. I'm 38 and I do love the red but I'd like to see what it looks like.

I guess it can always be dyed back...

@starsandstuff your hair is beautiful and in fabulous condition.

As I am growing the colour out I'm finding I am noticing dyed hair on others much more - in some ways that is more ageing than natural grey as it's often too dark for the person's skin tone or there's colour build up on the ends of longer hair. That said - it's up to each person to do what works for them.

I absolutely don't and wouldn't judge anyone for choosing to dye their hair. It's personal choice. But, I honestly don't think that many women make the choice freely - there is societal pressure to start dyeing grey hair as soon as it appears.
I decided to grow out my highlights as they were starting to look increasingly brassy and solid. I've discovered that I love my natural colour - ash blonde with pure white 'highlights' and honestly don't think it ages me at all. If anything, I think I look younger as it flatters my skin tone more.
Era I remember you from the head shave thread and am so glad that you are pleased with your end result!

Me

Florence I've taken a photo just for you. I'm aiming for the second photo so hoping it won't take that much longer. The colour of my hair isn't as dark as it appears in the photo, its more light grey, white and pewter. The white is around the front bits just like everyone else's really.

I have this strange root thing happening that appears more pronounced as it gets longer. Around the sides, the roots are white for the first inch then the colour for the rest of the length is grey. It's very odd. I'll end up with some kind of balayage as it grows.

Grey hair is definitely a law onto itself and everyone's grey is totally unique.

For anyone who didn't read the Head shave thread, I shaved my head 8 months ago (in 3 days time) and this is the grow out. I haven't had a professional haircut in that time but I have been trimmed the back myself.

It looks fab! Beautiful colour and it's grown so quickly.

Yours looks fab, Era, you must be thrilled you went for it.

I found my first white hair at 18. Started dying it straightaway.

I stopped at 38 and now, at 43, my hair is in fantastic condition - smooth, silky, thick.

Weirdly I can now wear black

I do look at old photos and think 'wtf! i looked awful'. So so many pictures of me with a between-dyes white strip.

I haven't had any negative comments.

Are there some good hair dos for growing it out with long hair? Good ways to grip it back that disguise the strip?

I didn’t bother with dye in the first place. My hair has turned a nice shade of silver rather than grey, which catches the light in a way my original dull brown never did.
As a doctor, I found it helped to be silver haired, as patients assumed I was older and more experienced!
Now I’m retired, and I just get a short haircut every 2 months to keep tidy. Maximum 20 mins at the hairdresser, and 30 secs every morning with a brush.
I don’t know where other women find the time or inclination to fart about with hair dye, touching up roots, etc. I certainly couldn’t be arsed!

I started going grey early twenties and from then on was quite rapid. Dyed it myself for years, then gradually went lighter till I stopped altogether.

It is liberating as someone said. No more worrying about roots coming through.
I don't use any special 'grey' shampoos. I use pantene smooth and sleek, and find it leaves my hair in good condition.

Also, colours that I never thought suited me before, like deep blues, black and green, do now.

I now wear more silver/white gold jewellery.

YouTube has many tips for going grey, as in makeup, clothes and jewellery.

🙂

“And the amount of friends and family who had politely smiled and nodded when I went grey, then said "I didn't want to say anything when you were grey, but you suit being a brunette so much more“

Of course they did. Classic example of social pressure to dye. Totally understand why women dye to avoid the judgement of others and selves.