The 50 year old novice

[FaceDisaster]

Help!
I have never given a stuff about my appearance really but as I approach 50 and my oldest turns into a teen I am aware that she's embarrassed at people thinking I'm her gran.
I work from home so really don't have a need to be smart. I live in jeans and t shirts. I'm not huge (12/14). My legs are pretty good. I have a mousey bob and I'm slightly greying. I don't smoke (gave up a decade ago) and I drink lots of water. I do have a chronic illness though.
My face is a disaster. I have awful bone structure so no apparent cheek bones even when I was young and thin. I have jowls. My skin is dry and wrinkly. My eyebrows are luxurious but invisible. My eyelids are saggy. I genuinely do look 10+ years older than I am.
I hate shopping, heels and make up. I'm a bit lazy.
I have no clue what to do to improve my appearance. Short of surgery (not gonna happen), what can I do? I think I need eyebrows. I had them done once about 20 years ago and felt like 2 small rodents had moved onto my face.
I'm clueless so please help!
Have nc because there can't be many women as ignorant at this age as me

Ignorant/bored by "foofing"/your age/could try harder. Watching.

What’s your budget? You need to sort skincare first.. maybe try somewhere like space NK that stocks lots of brands so they can help. Or ask around for a recommendation for a good therapist for a facial and see what they recommend.

Make up-go directly to Bobbi Brown! Great for natural make up and IME all very lovely and non pushy. Book a make up lesson (free) and see what they advise. If you need your brows tidied get it done professionally (same place as facial should do it) then you can maintain the shape.
Have fun! And please remember we always think we look more terrible than we actually do

I'm sure you don't have awful bone structure. Everyone's face is different but we just have to make the most of what we have.

You say your eyebrows are luxuriant but invisible. If by that you mean they are very pale but lots of them then I suggest going for an eyebrow shape as a starting point. Just get them threaded and trimmed into shape then decide whether or not to dye them. If you dye them don't go too dark.

Re your hair. Have you considered light blonde highlights to blend in the grey if you feel that's not helping? I like grey myself but I know lots of people prefer not to see it, and going a bit lighter can look more youthful and less drab.

You can be casual and stylish. Maybe have a few try on sessions somewhere like Zara or Oasis or Next. Primark is worth a look too.

Start using moisturising cream for your dry skin. Aldi Lacura range is excellent and cheap, or try good old Nivea or Astral.

A bit of blusher and mascara and a neutral / pinkish lipstick can make all the difference to looking a bit more polished. Maybe go to a department store make-up counter and let them give you a subtle makeover? Good luck.

more I've tried hard to be objective :) I have had "Is it your first grandchild" comments for years :( but have brushed them off because it only affected me.
As far as budget goes, I could afford decent stuff if it works but it always felt like painting a crumbling wall so I didn't. Ladies in beauty places scare me. I don't want sharpie eyebrows! I don't think they ever understood how little I cared in my 20s.
I do have some old Mac make up but I'm not going to put make up on for the school run and sitting alone in my office. I'm a bit cack handed as a result of my illness too, but yes I probably should update what little I do use for nights out.
How do I distinguish between hype and what will work miracles?

village exactly that about my eyebrows yes. Should eyebrows be the same colour as hair or lighter/darker? I'm OK with my hair I think. It's going white rather than grey. I occasionally stick a semi permanent dye on if it does bother me. I did use to be naturally very blonde but it darkened.
What sort of Nivea?
I don't have a shopping type friend. Perhaps I should ask my friend who loves a good shop :)

I'd be tempted to book a (recommended) mobile beautician to come and give you a facial and talk you through a realistic skincare routine. If it's too fancy with 13 million steps you just won't bother so something quick and easy with some high street brands. I also recommend Aldi's range it's very good.

Maybe a weekly mask and scrub too. If your skin is good then you don't need to be caked in makeup to look polished.

Then she can show you how to apply a natural makeup for the days you do want to wear it and to have a look at your eyebrows as it sound like a tint would be all you need to look more "done"

If you've got a hairdresser you trust, why not have a conversation about updating your haircut? If you don't have a hairdresser you trust, then maybe its time to find one, and give them time to get to know you before asking them to do anything more radical. You could also have the conversation about colouring with them, but tbh I'd sort out the shape first. I'm also 50-something, and my hair is getting shorter and sharper as I go greyer! I'd also suggest a rummage (maybe with a shopping friend) somewhere like TK Maxx where you can try on different looks but nothing costs that much so anything that doesn't work out won't be the end of the world.. If you're a jeans and t-shirt sort of person, it might be enough to update the style of jeans you wear and try a different type of t-shirt.

Hmm. I am in the process of trying to get my old lovely hairdresser back. I must chase her up. She might be able to recommend a mobile beautician which could kill 2 birds with one stone. I shall do that. My bob's not too bad as it's all undercut and not Theresa May style. I'd love short hair but my hair is fine and floppy. Maybe it will coarsen up with age.

1. Chase hairdresser.
2. Get recommendation for beautician
3. Aldi face cream. What exactly?
4. Mask and scrub. Ahy suggestions?
5. Eye brow tint
6. Make friend take me shopping. I really hate shopping, it makes me feel fat and useless and changing rooms are horrid

Don't spend lots of money on skin care... look up threads like the one below on a brand called "The Ordinary" which has excellent products with active ingredients that cost a fraction of other brands: The Ordinary - so good it's scary

Or get friend round and order stuff online.

Lots of places have free delivery and free returns so you could order various things and try them on in the comfort of your own home.

Also start looking at other people and see what they’re wearing and what you do or don’t like. In the street, on TV, browse Pinterest for ‘clothes for 50 yr old or similar’.

I’m younger than you but with a similar issue. I think skincare is the key; I’ve finally got a routine/products I’m happy with and I look a lot younger/healthier. I don’t wear much makeup (never foundation/powder, etc) so my skin looking good makes a big difference! Also sunscreen. Every day.

Maybe try Birchbox; They send samples of different things you can try in the comfort/privacy of your own home. I’m also scared of the makeup counter ladies!

Am looking at the Ordinary thread. Sounds scary but interesting!
Maybe I will ask friend to take me to get ideas and then order online. She is slim and sporty though. Perhaps she'd look at Pinterest for me :)
Sunscreen. I did buy some Olay anti wrinkle with SPF so I'm doing something right :)

You can brighten up your skin so it looks more radiant without too much effort. If you wash your face I'd get Moo Goo Milk Wash and use warm, not hot, water. If you would use a cleanser Liz Earle cleanse and polish the rose and geranium one.

Get some rosehip oil and use it at night - The Ordinary do a reasonably priced one. Also get a Vitamin C product - The Ordinary have several that are ok without sunscreen.

Would you be bothered to use sunscreen every day? I struggle with this as I hate stuff on my face but the two next things require sunscreen - retinoids and acids. Acids sound extreme but they aren't really, though they do make your skin more sensitive to UV light, as does retinol. Retinol encourages skin cell turnover and acids chemically remove dead skin cells. Younger skin does this naturally but older skin is much slower. Alpha H, Paula's Choice and The Ordinary all have suitable products. The Ordinary is the best value. You could use acids once or twice a week and retinol or retinoids every night, but you need sunscreen every day then.

Tips for eye cream too to lift it all a bit and moisturise would be good.

The Ordinary have some serums you could also use that don't require sunscreen. To be honest I'm a bit lazy about skin care but I don't mind my quick night routine - cleanse or wash, bung on serum, mix retinoid and rosehip oil and slap it on, moisturiser last. Sometimes I use Vit C but the one I bought is quite stingy (face does look much better next day though). I do an acid peel about once every 10 days.

Morning is cleanse (sometimes just with water), serum, moisturiser, sunscreen.

Have had a lot of people say I'm looking well since I started this at Christmas, despite lots of stressful life events.

I'm in a similar situation, bit older with a DD(13). Hate clothes shopping and never understood make up.

I started using Liz Earle face polish because it cleanses and removes make up so gets two jobs out of the way as I'm bone idle. Then a serum which I've forgotten the name of which MN assures me will rehydrate my skin better than moisturiser.

Then I went to Benefit counter to get some advice on eyebrows - I didn't want to go Kardashian but they do frame the face.

Then booked a session at Bobbi Brown - they really are very friendly and non pushy. Tip: if your lined like me ask them not to do concealer or powder just a light foundation.

That plus a Max Factor mascara and a couple of lipsticks have done the trick for me.

Hair - am going to go white when DD leaves home but for now it's highlights and a trim every six weeks.

The clothes are still at work in progress!

I really like the susiesoso blog - she has a normal relationship with clothes compared to most bloggers (ie she takes most of it back!), and she is very good at finding cheap versions of things. You could maybe start there.

I don't like The Ordinary - seems all hype to me. The things that I find work are:

Decleor micellar oil (smells lovely too)
Alpha H liquid gold
Clinique city block

Everything else I chop and change, but I always get those three.

There is a Hush thread on here for clothes which is quite good as people post pics of themselves wearing it all. I work from home too but I always shove slap on as that makes me ready to face the laptop every day!

So something to clean your face with like a liz Earle / Aldi hot cloth cleanser. I think that would be gentle and non stripping for 50+ skin.

Then a toner but I personally think nothings better than splashing. with cold water.

Then a moisturiser. Nivea soft (white packaging) blends in easily . Aldi's lacura do a day and night cream so you can't go wrong.

For a mask it depends on your skin so would be helpful if the beautician can have a look and tell you what you have and what you need. I doubt you would need anything that would dry you out. If you have blackheads then yes something to help pull those out like a black peel off or a nose strip.

Sometimes I just massage in some coconut oil as a skin treat and walk around the house with my face all piny.

Once a week I use the Aldi cell renewal peel mask so it takes off the top layer of skin to refresh but I'm not having to scrub. It takes 3 minutes.

I like flint + flint eye cream but then also steal my husbands L'Oréal rollerball eye cream thing. I'm not loyal

Main thing is it should be easy and not a massive effort otherwise you'll have bottles and jars untouched and making you feel guilty.

*oily not piny

This is lots to think about and read so thank you all so far. I'm going to have a shelf and mirror in my study so I do this stuff there as I spend most of my time there.
I'm booked in for counselling about some stuff too so Project Me is about to start :)

I don't bother with anything seperate for eyes - there's no reason why general stuff can't be used near your eyes unless it's stingy or harsh in some way.

Have a look at Lixir Skin - I think there are just 5 products and the idea is that that is all you need. Cleanser, moisturiser, Vit C, acid, retinol. You still need sunscreen though!

Apart from dryness and wrinkles and bagginess my skin's quite clear and spot free :) That's probably why I never got into skin care. Slightly bigger pores on my nose which is normal I think.