Looking old and haggard at 42 how can give myself a boost

[Generallyok]

Spent my 20's and early 30's being told i looked like a teenager but the last few years I've aged dramatically. I'm exactly the same weight as I was at 20 but when I told someone I had a big birthday coming up 2 years ago they presumed i meant 50! I have so many frown lines and wrinkles under my eyes. I went for some highlights recently hoping they would give me a youthful boost but no one has even noticed. I used to be able to put makeup on and feel good but now I feel like a clown. My mum at 70 looks younger.Anyone felt the same and done something that has given them a youth boost?

...when you are no longer young... scuse me!

Bluntness and please can you type more carefully before firing from your hip, I should not have to take time trying to read through your spelling mistakes.

Is Botox the way to go with forehead lines? I'm making progress with losing excess weight and skin care, but they are a bugbear.

Ok, facials are out then! I’m actually seriously thinking of a filler for the huge crease I have between my eyebrows but afraid I won’t look like me if that makes sense? Anyone had fillers? I’m afraid the lady may look at me and bang on about what else I need!!

Sugar OP. Give up/massively cut down on sugar.

Don't know if you're a sugar nut like me but I see a MASSIVE difference in my skin when I stop eating it. I'm 41 and like you I had a sudden moment last year, not long after I turned 40, when I suddenly looked in the mirror and couldn't believe how OLD I looked. Washed out and pasty and flabby in the face (though I wasn't overweight) and just old.

My diet was sugar heavy and I just (with a bit of effort) stopped as much sugar as I possibly could.

Upped the veg, especially green veg, a lot.

Started walking wherever poss for exercise, an hour a day or more if I can.

The difference when I do this is amazing. Within a week or so of cutting down the sugar/upping the veg, my skin starts to glow again. If I go back on a sugary diet, within a few days, I look rubbish again.

Oh and though I hate typing this as it makes me feel like I'm turning into my mum - wear colour, if you don't already. It has taken me a few months to notice that my 'old' staples of white shirts, grey tops etc, can just make me look haggard, old, tired. I have ditched white and all the pale cream colours I used to love and that suited me. Reduced grey. Oddly I have gone back to black which I stopped wearing in my mid-30s as I thought it was ageing but now it seems to work again, in an austere sort of way that I quite like. BUT to return to my point - colour! I now wear, amazingly to myself, quite bright greens, yellows, even warm orange. Not head to toe, obv, and with dark neutrals. But near my face, a shot of the right bright works wonders.

Hair is important too, I've gone a fraction darker with a semi-permanent gloss which surprises me by helping, i assumed I'd have to go blonder as I got older but the slightly darker colour (which also fades greys) works on me.

It's small tweaks, really. Nothing expensive or drastic. the sugar thing, i think, is key.

The only expensive thing I now do is useEmma Hardie moringa balm cleanser which is honestly a miracle in a jar (along with the no sugar thing obv).

I can't really afford facials but I had one as a gift card and it was a nice lift. an anti-ageing facial would probably make a nice difference if you could afford a regular one.

Good luck! Green veg! No/less sugar!

THat's my tuppence worth, anyway!

Stop smoking now. Cut down your alcohol intake. Don't use sunbeds or sunbathe. Try and get enough sleep for you. Eat a good diet with lots of veg, fruit, sufficient protein and good fat. Do 150 minutes of moderate cardio a week (plus some weight bearing exercise). Make sure you are a healthy weight (I'm of the opinion that being a healthy weight is more youthful than fattening up to reduce wrinkles).

It may be that you would benefit from a haircut or getting your eyebrows shaped. Or maybe you need to revise your wardrobe.

I personally wouldn't go down the route of botox / fillers / surgery. I bet you look a lot better than you think and the comment about you turning 50 was either a bad joke gone wrong or made by a near child. I'm 47 and I'm getting to the stage where people around 40 look very fresh faced.

If you are the same weight as you were when you were in your 20s - erm...there’s your answer. You will be looking gaunt which is never a good look.

If you are the same weight as you were when you were in your 20s - erm...there’s your answer. You will be looking gaunt which is never a good look.

Not if she was overweight in her 20s, the OP has not revealed her BMI. But even if she is at the lower end of the healthy weight range that doesn't mean she'll look gaunt at the grand old age of 42.

Jessicake - can you signpost to any information on going sugar free? What did you cut out? Recommended reads or websites? Thanks!

Yes cheesypasta Botox will sort your forehead out.

I spend £300 twice a year and it's the best thing I do. It makes me look better and, much more importantly FEEL better. I feel so much happier knowing I don't look cross and stressed all the time.

Can't recommend it enough.

I meant if you were slim or thin or not overweight. Obviously.

...I look utterly defeated and gray according to my friend

^

Crikey that's harsh!

To everyone who is saying, if you are the same weight as you were in your 20s, you must be haggard. I am 62, not haggard, and I weigh 8lb more than I did at at 41, when I got pregnant, and post meno. NO, you do not automatically become obese. You/One becomes obese because you eat too much and move too little. Sorry.

Who is taking about obesity? Why must it always come around to that?

...I look utterly defeated and gray according to my friend

According to your friend?

Kids, a few crappy life events, a feeling of being past it ..... it all drags you down.

Decent face products help a lot, chemical exfoliators, decent night cream, SPF day cream. I swear by Paula’s Choice, I saw a difference in a couple of days after using their BHA exfoliant, I also use the M&S ultimate sleep cream.

I also got my colours done (House of Colour) for my 40th, it opened up options of colours that would suit me that I wouldn’t have considered before ( and pointed out that some that I had been wearing were not as flattering as they could be).

And lastly, ask around for recommendations for a really good local hairdresser/colourist.

SelenaMeyer, honestly I'm no diet guru as literally my diet was about 70% sugar before (I would eat biscuits for breakfast... and mid-morning... and skip a proper lunch so I could have a scone or a cake early afternoon...) so all I did was... er... stop doing that!

I've not cut OUT sugar in the way I know a couple of people who have eg no wine, no refined carbs at all etc.

For me, it was oddly easy to do (as in simple, not actually EASY) because it was so obvious where the sugar was and so obvious how to drastically reduce it.

I still drink wine. I eat a bit of dark choc every evening. But my days of biscuits, daily cake, sugary yogurt etc are well behind me. I do now eat mostly rye bread rather than white but that's less about cutting sugar and more about my bowels (lovely) and how well they digest stuff. I do still eat white bread too, I quite like the rye stuff though these days.

Not very expert, I apologise, but basically if it wasa biscuit, a cake, a chocolate bar, a sweet, an ice-cream, a sugary yogurt, a pudding, a scone, a cookie... I stopped eating it!

I talk about health and diet, and obesity, because I see it all around me, and because it's a bigger health crisis than smoking. The cost of type 2 diabetes to the NHS is 10% of the entire budget and most of this is wasted money if only people would lose the flab. Rant over.

Hi OP, I was the same as you last year, hit 47 and really noticed the change. Like you I always looked way younger than I am. Both of my parents died within 15 months and life just really got to me - and my face!

I went for Botox, first time at age 47, no fillers just Botox. It is amazing, but you have to find the right person and you will have to do it twice per year approx. But to me it has been revolutionary and I would now happily forego other treats to ensure I have it.

It just softens the lines and makes you look less tired - as if you have been on holidays. You have to go to someone recommended personally as there are so many fraudsters. Just before I had mine done I met a woman I knew many years ago and I thought she must have become an alcoholic. Later in the evening she told us all she had Botox and Fillers a month before and her face was left paralysed. SO you need to be careful but the right person will change your face back to what it was 5 years ago.

Hope this helps.

I looked fine until 45 but bereavement, redundancy etc took their toll.

I highly recommend a hydrating toner- completely changed my skin for the better. Plumps it up so fine lines aren't obvious, calms and balances redness, evens out dry/oily skin. So simple and so effective. Some ppl like Hyaluronic Acid (not an Acid), I prefer ones with other hydrating ingredients. Korean/Japanese ones really are great and easy to find on eBay or some uk stockists. Look for ingredients like ceramides, Hyaluronic Acid and peptides.

Some more here

Good grief, we (women) put ourselves through it, don’t we?!

OP, just eat healthily/take daily exercise/drink water/ cut down on alcohol if you’re overdoing it a bit/spf daily. Beyond that, you WILL age. If your lucky.

You’re!!!

I'm 40 and get mistake for late twenties, early thirties often.

I have used spf every day for as long as I can remember , good skincare such as Environ for the past 5 years or so as well as botox every few months. Eat really well, limit sugar, loads of water, green tea, green veg etc. Boring but so good for you.

I'm a size 12 so not skinny / not big either.

I'm dreading the day it all stops working!

Lots of good advice here. Like you Op, I’m 42.

When I turned 40 I decided to start taking better care of myself. My aim isn’t necessarily to look young for my age, just good.

This is my maintenance plan:

1. Hair: I get it highlighted / coloured every other month. No bleach (it ruins hair especially older, fragile hair) my hairdresser uses a treatment that is supposed to help hair stay strong and healthy. Regular trims, but kept longish - shoulder length or longer suit me; shorter cuts make me look frumpy. Biotin supplement every day.

1. Skin: collagen and vitamin E supplement every day. Morning and evening tailored skincare routine involving acid, retinoids etc. Factor 30 / 50 spf EVERY DAY. Botox twice a year.

1. Diet: plant based, little meat, little sugar, little alcohol. That sounds dreary but i absolutely love vegetarian food. Lots of fruit, veg, water and wholgrains.

1. Exercise: floor exercises for legs and tum 3 x a week. I have good abs! Brisk walk in fresh air every day. Facial massage / toner 3 x a week.

1. General health: no smoking, sleep as much as poss, try not to get too stressed (easier said than done though!).

Oh and btw I weigh the same as I did at fifteen, and I’d really like to think I don’t look too gaunt or haggard.

Oh god Oce;et sorry but that sounds so bloody grim1

ok Im 50.

Size 10/12/ .

I use loads of nivea soft, slap it on and let my face and body drink it up twice a day.

Eat whatever I want but low low sugar. Lots of protein so lots of meat.

I do weights daily for ten mins and cycle and walk lots.

I dont do Botox and I love a drink.

No one, literally no one ever believes I am 50, genuinely. Apparently I look about 38...