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Original poster

Someone said I looked old. How can I look young again?

59 replies

FeelingOldnGrey · 09/05/2007 12:30

My BIL came to visit at the weekend, very tacful man. Not. Anyway, DP was still at work when he arrived. I have not seen him for 8 months when my DD was 2 months old, and I still had the youthful look of a new mother about me. Since then my mum died, I returned to work, am preparing for a wedding and generally being run into the ground.

He said to me that I was looking a lot older than last time he saw me. He said 'dont mean to be offensive, but you do, dont worry I do too' .

Now its not that he said it that upset me, although it did upset me that he felt it ok to say it, as he hardly knows me. But its true, and I think that upset me more.

I am 29, almost 30. I have a lot of grey hair, my hair is limp and scraggly (I am trying to grow it a bit). I have dark circles under my eyes. my skin is quite dry and blotchy and red at the moment, I seem to have developed some lines around my face recently, my skin is generally not in a great condition, I keep getting spots, esp on my chin and they have left marks. I have been breastfeeding my LO, and my boobs have now started to reduce in size as I only BF twice a day now. My hands look really old, skin over my fingers seem dry and wrinkly.

I am getting married in september and really wanted to look good. My DP said I do look good but I know he does not mean it. He knows I am a bit depressed as still getting over my mum and is being nice.

I am not complaining about my life, I have a wonderful life, tiredness is a problem, but no more than for any other mother who looks good. I would just like some advice on how I can make myself look and feel a bit more youthful, plump fresh faced and glowing? I dont necessarily want to look younger than I am, just not to look older than I am.

Any advice?

OP posts:
Original poster
FeelingOldnGrey · 09/05/2007 14:19

I have just spoken to my DP. He also needs a bit of a 'lift' We have agreed that at the weekend, we are going to go out and spend some money each on new clothes.

He also said to me that he loved me, and that he thought I should go get the works done, massage, facial, hair, nails, feet. He said, sod the cost, you deserve it.

Oh, I am soo marrying the right man, and am quite excited by my immenent new look. And he can help me chose some undies!

And I have just had two nig glasses of water and no coffee since 11:30am

OP posts:
snowwonder · 09/05/2007 14:27

go for it, i didnt look after myself until my ex left me, 18 months ago,

now i dont leave the house without makeup, take it off every night (using makeup wipes), put on night cream, (boots time delay is good)

i think your mum would be delightened you were using some of the money to make yourself feel better, so get the facial etc, and buy some new creams,

your hair done properly will def make you feel 10 times better...

best of luck

ScottishThistle · 09/05/2007 14:33

Oh what a lovely dp you have, well done that man!

nothing to add really to what other's have said.

Enjoy pampering yourself, I home dye my hair every 3 weeks with a non-permanent dye & it works wonders!

Moisturiser's a must, always make time for it...It only takes 2 minutes!

Lots of water also very important, I've been awake since 4am but I'm not tired yet!

Original poster
FeelingOldnGrey · 09/05/2007 14:37

So, permanent hair or semi-permanent?

OP posts:
Original poster
FeelingOldnGrey · 09/05/2007 14:42

How about exercise? No-one has mentioned exercise?
I run around after LO, and am quite a mad mummy, dance to music, crawl after her (she loves that) and I like a good vacuum, but I dont exercise.
If I went for a run a couple of times a week, would that improve my appearance? (I am not too saggy, pregnancy and birth was relatively kind to me )

OP posts:
ScottishThistle · 09/05/2007 14:46

I've always done semi-permanent as it's less obvious when you have roots, which in my opinion looks ghastly!

A few nice walks a week should be sufficient to put a spring in your step.

MrsWho · 09/05/2007 16:27

at not too saggy and lovely dp!

Exercise always helps but its up to you what you do.

janeite · 09/05/2007 20:05

Your dp sounds great! Second all the ideas here and would also suggest treating yourself to a nice exfoliating scrub for the face. Origins Never A Dull Moment is brilliant and they're great with samples, so you could try it before buying and see if it suited you. Enjoy shopping!

Aloha · 09/05/2007 20:09

Getting rid of grey is no1 - incredibly ageing. Will make a MASSIVE difference. Go to good hairdresser, say take away my grey and make me look young, and they will. Try to get some sleep. I am sure you dont' really look old as you are very young!

Swizzler · 09/05/2007 20:10

Try using body lotion before you go to bed - I never have time after bath/shower either. And keep some decent moisturiser by your bed to put on face last thing - I got some No 7 stuff which works well and smells nice

WendyWeber · 09/05/2007 20:12

Defo get rid of grey - I've been mostly grey for aaaaages, and finally baulked and went brownish last week. DS2 said it took 50 years off me (puts me back in the infants but never mind )

squidette · 09/05/2007 20:15

Oh, what a lovely thing for your partner to say Go for it!

(ps, i love my grey hairs!)

FeelingaBitLessOldnGrey · 11/05/2007 08:05

OK, so I have -
Got rid of the gey hair. I used Botanics semi-permanent Mulbury Brown. It looks soooooo much better. A touch of burgandy but not 'in yer face' colour. My hair feels less scraggly already, the shape my hairdresser styled my hair in whilst I try to grow it is more visible for some reason. It does not 'hang'. I will go to hairdressers to get it done for wedding tho, as I want it to be more my natural hair colour, but minus the grey! Squid - I did used to love the 'silver' in my hair. It was a streak on one side. The it became a streak on both sides (courtesy of mum), then it sort of started to spread until I had bits all through, and it stopped looking cool and made my hair look flat and colourless. So now I have new hair!
I have bought some Cleanser and Toner (yesterday) which I used after my bath yesterday.
I had a bath yesterday - I had lovely Champneys bubble bath, I shaved my legs and arms, had a 'freshen-up' below, soaked for ages.
I used some 'holiday skin' moisturiser which I had from last year, DP did my back for me.
I drank 3 pints of water (i have been drinking 1-2 pints for breastfeeding but just not enough)
I drank 3 cups of coffee. I usually drink 6 .
I went to bed early (well, 10:30pm. Earlier than usual).

I feel lots better. My face does not seem so haggard even after just one day. I shall keep it up. Tommorow, we go spend money in town. Have not done that for ages. Have become a bit of a hermit so a bit nervous about the crowds but should be fun!

Thanks for giving me the advice everyone, I needed to be kick started! BIL does not get my thanks tho, as he was so rude!

pesme · 11/05/2007 08:10

fantastic! i want to hear more about bras please! i went back to underwired when dd was 8 months which was possibly too soon but i was going back to work and couldnt face having my boobs spread out like a broken sofa. you should be ok at 10 months.

FrannyandZooey · 11/05/2007 08:11

Exercise will definitely help you - your skin will look better and your posture will improve, plus you will feel happier and more positive

Join us on 10 / 10 if you like - in the health section - we are all trying to improve our general health and mood and it is a nice supportive thread

You MUST have nice clothes and hair and wear things that you like

I also think your dp sounds lovely

FeelingaBitLessOldnGrey · 11/05/2007 08:12

bras - tomorrow I shall buy some matching undies...going to La Senza!!!
Will keep you all posted!

pesme · 11/05/2007 08:14

nonono. don't got to la senza. you need to be properly fitted. do you have a john lewis? they do a good t-shirt bra for about £12.

FrannyandZooey · 11/05/2007 08:15

T-shirt bras are fab for tired old breastfeeding breasts

pesme · 11/05/2007 08:16

absolutely

cylonbabe · 11/05/2007 08:19

go have faboulous sex with a young hunk who makes you feel gourgeous, and wanted

rattleskuttle · 11/05/2007 08:23

you are young! young! young! take it from me, i'm 43 and still not past it. i think you've had so much going on that you've been made to feel old. i hope the new clothes and all makes you feel better. good luck

yogimum · 11/05/2007 08:27

I know how you feel! I had ds last July and had a wedding to plan for Jan this year. About a month before the wedding I booked a course of facials and other treatments like manicures etc, bought new makeup and underwear (got depressed about the nursing bras). Will go along with everyone else, definitely exercise, lots of water, diet and a good skincare routine. Get your hair done aswell. I know we all feel that spending money on ourselves is a luxury but we are important aswell. If a local college has a beauty dept. you can get very reasonable priced treatments as they are training. Good luck with the wedding!

Furball · 11/05/2007 09:28

If you don't like crowds, can you shop on Sunday? It never seems as busy on a Sunday. The shops don't usually open til about 10.30 11am. but they are open til 4pm.

FeelingaBitLessOldnGrey · 11/05/2007 10:48

Pesme - no john lewis I am afraid! How about Debenhams? M&S? Anywhere else? I thought La Senza was good

FeelingaBitLessOldnGrey · 11/05/2007 10:49

cylonbabe - that'll be DP then! . Have not really felt very sexy lately, but am working on it