Another ageing question...

[zippyswife]

So I hit 40 last year and I feel like my face is ageing rapidly- and not in the way I’d assumed. I’d had some lines around the eyes which I was fine with (not thrilled that it’s only on one eye but I can live with that). What I’m struggling to accept (and I know I need to accept this) is the sag around my lower face. I would say my jaw line is ok it’s more like a sag on either side of my mouth. I’d be ok with laughter lines- I’ve earned them- I’ve laughed my way through life. But the sag is just getting me down. I know this is pathetic but I’m struggling with it. I know I need to get a grip because let’s face it it’s only going to get worse. But I just wasn’t expecting to feel this way. I want to embrace it. I’m not particularly vain so am surprised to be feeling this.

So I guess what I’m asking is... do you ever learn to accept your face ageing?

Some of the time, although I find that just as I'm learning to accept it, something new normally comes along.

Like you I really don't care about wrinkles but I wasn't impressed at all when my face filled out and my jawline started resembling a Maris Piper potato. I was just getting used to that when I noticed my whole face was kind of disappearing - a bit like those old statues you see in cemeteries. But now my hair's getting thinner too and trust me, that's really shit.

I'm sure there will be something else soon. It's one of several reasons why I don't have any work done. I think it's totally pointless.

Mostly I try and laugh about it - well it is pretty funny. I also use my face to remind me that time is beginning to run out (I'm older than you) and that, if I'm going to do half the things I still want to do, I need to get a move on.

Don't listen to the beauty industry, they're just trying to sell you ineffective goods at ridiculous prices. Wrinkles and sagging are just part of getting older and are not inherently bad.

I agree flo, I can already see for me that work is pointless as I can see problem areas down the line. The list would never end. And I can’t be arsed to life like that.

The sag just seems to have come as a bit of a shock to me. The wrinkles I knew would be coming my way. People don’t talk about the sag!

I love your Maris piper analogy. I’m starting to feel quite spud like myself.

The weird thing is that I’ve always found what I considered to be “older” women extremely attractive. Way more attractive than younger women. Just turns out I’m too critical of myself to see anything attractive in it sadly.

There are enough things in this world to be anti and aging isn't one of them.

The op is exactly what i thought this morning when i looked in the mirror.

I would prefer to just accept it, but I have a CACI facial every month, to delay the inevitable. My problem tho, and I am waaaay older than you.

I tell myself that although I direct and analyse every inch of change, other people maybe don't notice. I try to believe it. Today someone told me that I was looking healthy and glowing, and my skin looked much clearer. Even though I've been necking water and gave up sugar two months ago, I I still thought she was just being kind.
We are our own worst enemies, I bet you look great OP

I direct the change, if only I could direct it, would be so good

Dissect

I feel glad when I see people, especially women, in the public eye who look their age. Just because we are looking older doesn't mean we are less attractive or less valuable as beings. I avoid mirrors wherever possible.

I've started to see the beginning of jowls and sag too at 46. You're so right - people focus on wrinkles but I think the lower face sagging is far more ageing. I'm contemplating fillers. I'm struggling to come to terms with ageing but I do care a bit less about my appearance now I'm older, so I'm not as obsessive about the way I look, plus, it's a tsunami anyway and there's no real way of totally holding it back, so what you really gonna do!

Sponge Bob - Have you see a benefit with caci facials?

@Fosterdog123. Yes, I have, but I didn't want to wax lyrical about them if the OP wants self-acceptance, when I haven't got there yet, sadly.

What are the benefits of CACI facials?

They are an electrical-stimulus machine, originally made to excercise the muscles in stroke victims. Discovered that they help muscle-tone in aging skin. Full title is Computer Aided Cosmetology Instrument, I think. And no, I don't work for them, but I started having them when I worked at a salon who had one.

What benefits have you seen? Has it done anything for jowls - assuming you have them that is!

Are you talking about my Churchill Chops? They are improved, yes. My face looks more toned, my beautician took before and after shots, so it wasn't just my imagination. Some people are better at it than others. Would suggest if anyone is thinking about it, to have a one-off trial session, you should see a difference, although as a one off it will only be temporary. Not a cheap option, but I have cut other beauty spending to accomodate it.

What about lower eye bags? Don’t you think if you can afford it that’s ok?

Haven't really got lower eye bags, I have the full CACI which does all the facial bits. Yes, I suppose its ok, I just hope there's a point when I give in gracefully!

CACI doesn’t sound invasive. In order for it to work do you need to have it every month. My local salon is £75 a session. That’s more than I can justify really. Although a rejuvenating treatment like that does sound good.

nuface mini

It isn't invasive Zippy. Doesn't cost as much here (Midlands prices). Do you have a college where they do Beauty? If so, you can have reduced price treatments from the students. Properly supervised, etc. You do need to top up every month for lasting results. I also get it slightly cheaper because I pay for it in a block.

hattyhighlighter I have a Nu Face Mini, use it religeously, not seen any improvement, and it tands to drag your skin when using,
I have also just got a Dermawand,[on 30 days trial] so not had time to see any improvement yet, i dont like the smell you get with it though its a bit nauseating to be honest,so dont know if i will keep it
I would go to a salon if there was one close to me but there isnt

On another thread,someone mentioned a treatment called a PROMAX radiotherapy treatment, and is very pleased with the results, but no on here does it or i would definitely go for that
The Dermawand is similiar,also radio frequency, but of course much weaker

Aren’t we awful to ourselves? Our grandparents never had this problem but now, it’s ALL about looks. When people say I don’t look my age I think “but I AM mid-50’s”. And there are days I look ok and I don’t spend the whole day defending why I look so tired. But some days I have to accept my next big birthday is 60. I wish I didn’t care. I wish I valued myself more than that. I’ve had a good career/marriage/children. That’s what I should be focussed on. And yet....those fucking marionette lines make me look so grumpy.

Watching for ideas but won’t be spending much cash on overpriced creams. I’ve done all that!

I am 50 in a month. Funnily enough I am happier now than about 5 years ago. I love clothes. I don’t wear a lot of make up, but when I do I like it. It has taken me a long time to be ok with myself, but I have finally got there and I am not going to let a saggy neck get between me and my self esteem