Another ageing question...

[zippyswife]

So I hit 40 last year and I feel like my face is ageing rapidly- and not in the way I’d assumed. I’d had some lines around the eyes which I was fine with (not thrilled that it’s only on one eye but I can live with that). What I’m struggling to accept (and I know I need to accept this) is the sag around my lower face. I would say my jaw line is ok it’s more like a sag on either side of my mouth. I’d be ok with laughter lines- I’ve earned them- I’ve laughed my way through life. But the sag is just getting me down. I know this is pathetic but I’m struggling with it. I know I need to get a grip because let’s face it it’s only going to get worse. But I just wasn’t expecting to feel this way. I want to embrace it. I’m not particularly vain so am surprised to be feeling this.

So I guess what I’m asking is... do you ever learn to accept your face ageing?

Aren’t we awful to ourselves?

God yes. And to each other. I'm thinking of leaving MN because of all the ageism but can't cos I'm addicted

Suki I'm mid 50s and over the last couple of years have noticed the marionette lines from corners of mouth downwards. I've started doing facial exercises this year to lift and rebuild cheek muscles and lift corners of mouth. Neck and chin also. I've started doing them religiously every day when putting coconut oil on my skin. It takes months to show a difference but it builds and eventually the muscles tighten and lift like any muscles you exercise in the body. It has to be done forever though. I'm the nutty lady who drives pulling weird faces (doing face exercises whilst driving).

Oh I've stomped off more times than I can say Cara. So far I've always come skulking back.

I don't pretend I find this easy. I'm vain. But I do think these treatments are ultimately pointless because, as I've said, as soon as you zap one symptom, another will take its place. And I'm buggered if I'm adding to the coffers of the anti ageing industry who stoke up our insecurities then flog us snake oil to sooth them. They're like medieval clerics, selling places in heaven.

I'd rather spend my money on nice clothes.

@Dottydoris I’m worried I might end up looking worse doing exercises 😐 Botox is all about imobilising muscles. Will read up on it though. Can you recommend any particular ones?

The amount of money generated by our insecurities is scandalous. I use a £10 pot of goo. I’ve spend a lot more and sometimes less. I think they’re all the same. What I do have is a sweet tooth and they say sugar ages the skin. Oh dear.

The only thing that’d help me is surgery and that’s NOT going to happen so, I’d better get used to them.

Suki I use Eva Fraser books. She has a practice in London too. She started in her 50s and she is now in her 80s I think. She was one of the pioneers in this technique. From what I understand when you have a face lift they pull the slack muscles tight and this is tightening up the muscles naturally. Just like any other muscles in your body. I don't know much about Botox but I would worry that it causes muscle atrophy over long term use.

Thanks @Dotty. I’d never do Botox as am very allergic to many things. Also, it’s not a cost I could commit to. But.... a book is worth a try! Thanks 😊

I was just thinking today looking around that ageing may be harder for those closer to the youth memory of what they looked like - I saw gorgeous women in their 60s and beyond who had settled into their new faces and looked glowing and more youthful. It seemed to be those in their 40s and 50s who looked more aged because their faces were more of a deterioration of their 30s face rather than a different face - am I making sense?

JM that does make sense actually I'm doing face exercises to try and maintain what I have now rather than reversing the ageing process.

I can't honestly say I feel settled into my face because it's still changing and there's little sign of that stopping any time soon. If anything, it's accelerating. (I'm 61.) But other events lend a bit of perspective. Your friends and peers start to die and, although no-one's yet saying, 'Well they had a good innings', you realise it's not that shocking either. And I no longer take my health for granted.

So although my face still bugs me, it's for different reasons - it's because it reminds me of my mortality which isn't a bad thing really.

I still feel a bit peeved though. I always rather fancied one of those withered, chiselled faces but it's more like a balloon going down.

@Floisme 😄

The sagging is the worst because that just makes a person look (literally) “down in the mouth”. @JM, you may have something there. There are many things I prefer now about myself which I didn’t like in my 30/40’s but there’s SUCH difference between as 30/40’s face and mid-fifties. I’m thinking the changes that’ll show in the next ten years, in c9mparison to 55, won’t be as drastic (to me) because it’s just a “variation” of the older me iykwim?

Anyway, I’m meeting up with my near-80 yr old Mum Today at John Lewis. Lunch and a mooch (but promise NOT to be drawn in my expensive anti-ageing creams!)