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Original poster

How did you choose an engagement ring?

27 replies

MrsFionaCharming · 07/01/2018 00:01

I’m in the process of choosing an engagement ring. I found one today I really love, but I’m so scared to commit to it! It’s a beautiful ring, but very expensive and what if I change my mind? I’m going to be wearing it for the next 70 years!

How did you know yours was the one?

OP posts:
Mxyzptlk · 07/01/2018 00:01

It was very inexpensive but pretty.

MinnieMinchkin · 07/01/2018 00:43

I spent time looking at pictures online and then got what I wanted made at a local family jeweller. They also made my wedding ring to go with it. It worked out cheaper such that I could get a platinum ring with a larger diamond for the same price as a white gold ring with a smaller stone from a jewellery chain.

HarrietSchulenberg · 07/01/2018 01:03

Mine cost £10 but was exactly the style I wanted. I'd eyed up rings for 1000x that amount but didn't like them. Financial cost should mean nothing (as long as it doesn't cripple you); it's the ring and its meaning that count.

magicstar1 · 07/01/2018 01:12

We looked through a whole load of trays in the jewellers. I said no to every one except the one I picked. I never know what I want...just what I don’t want lol.

squoosh · 07/01/2018 04:05

I’m going to be wearing it for the next 70 years!

Optimistic.

squoosh · 07/01/2018 04:06

I saw on Twitter today that George Bush Sr and his wife are celebrating their 70-something wedding anniversary. I felt exhausted just thinking about it.

Battleax · 07/01/2018 04:07

DH chose mine, because he proposed with it. I don't remember feeling any angst. Maybe just decide to relax a bit? A nice ring is a nice ring. If in doubt, go classic.

sweatylemon · 07/01/2018 07:15

My DH chose mine
I have worn it every day for 27 years, never taken it off.
A solitaire diamond. The band is getting a bit thin now, so I might get it Re-set in Platinum

Capelin · 07/01/2018 07:23

Go for it, OP! If you love it now, I don’t think that will change. I’ve been wearing mine for 14 years now and it’s not like another piece of jewellery- you don’t get bored of it, it almost becomes a part of your finger! Is it classic or unusual in design?

Tumilnaughts · 07/01/2018 07:29

All I knew was the cut of the diamond I preferred and my husband did the rest. It's beautiful and I will definitely wear it forever.

Sunshineandgin · 07/01/2018 07:29

I found mine on Etsy, it’s simple and was not particularly expensive but as soon as I saw it I thought yes that’s my ring. And luckily by chance found a wedding ring that was a perfect match in a different jewellers in a different country!

You don’t have to wear the engagement ring forever though. I am at the moment because I like it but my mum - happily married nearly 40 years only really wears hers for special occasions, it’s her wedding ring that’s never removed.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 07/01/2018 09:53

I looked at all the chains but was put off by the upselling (budget = £x, oh do try this one at £x+1000). Then we went to vintage shops and I just loved the feel of those straight away. I ended up with a ring that cost £400 but is unique - vintage setting and a semi-precious stone that I just really loved when I tried it.

happymummy12345 · 07/01/2018 10:03

I always knew I wanted a solitaire diamond - not too big, in yellow gold (all my jewellery is yellow gold). I can't explain why I just love the classic look of them.
My dh knew that as well, so had he had to buy one I'm sure he would have got one like that (I wouldn't have wanted to choose together personally).
But in the end I got my mums engagement ring, which was everything I wanted. It's nice because my wedding ring was my great nans, my eternity ring was my nans and my engagement ring was my mums. But they're exactly what I'd of chosen anyway,

LostInShoebiz · 07/01/2018 10:21

Don't be afraid to look beyond the "Engagement Rings" section. Just because almost every other person has a diamond solitaire doesn't meant you have to.

suchatiredbunny · 07/01/2018 10:30

I knew I wasn't going to have a solitaire. We found one (a solitaire) in an unusual platinum setting with gold detailing but I wasn't sure I wanted platinum as I knew I wanted a thin, plain band and wanted gold. Anyway, the ring couldn't be made the other way round so to cheer me up DH took me to the best jeweller in my hometown and we got it down to two, one three stone and one solitaire. The solitaire won the day, it was a much better quality diamond and just sparkles beautifully even though it's not very big.

The thing is, you should love it because of what it stands for so even if your taste changes over time it won't matter. I developed an allergy to my wedding ring a few years ago so no longer wear mine, but I love it just the same.

sillyswimmer · 07/01/2018 10:48

I knew I wanted something a bit different. We went looking in all the jewelers shops in the nearby city. At the point my DP had given up on finding anything I spotted my ring in the vintage section of a shop display. It's a very small ruby set with diamond shoulders but in the large display it stood out to me.

If you love and you know you'll wear it, go for it. I work with people who are too scared to wear their rings daily because they have huge, expensive rings and they're scared of damaging or losing it, and it seems such a shame.

silkpyjamasallday · 07/01/2018 11:05

I'm having a ring I already had, just costume jewellery very fine half eternity ring with lab created diamonds, remade in solid rose gold rather than the gold plated silver it currently is, it will cost just under £100. It will be both my engagement and wedding ring as I don't like having more than one on a finger. I chose rose gold as most of my other jewellery is in this metal and looks best on my skin tone. It's very simple and suits my lifestyle perfectly, I wouldn't buy earth mined natural diamonds because I feel uncomfortable about the dubious ethical standards they are collected under, DP is on the same page with me on this. I also didn't want to have a ££££ ring on my finger everyday to worry about losing or damaging, I didn't want some huge flashy rock and I've never liked solitaire style rings. Choosing a piece of jewellery you hope to wear for the rest of your life is a very personal thing, there are lots of factors to consider and everyone has different wants and needs. It's the meaning that the ring holds that is the most important thing, the angst over choosing and whether you made the right choice won't be what you remember when you look at it in 20,30,40 years. As a PP said, if in doubt go for something classic and unobtrusive.

Original poster
MrsFionaCharming · 07/01/2018 11:14

In terms of expense, its1.5K, so within our budget, but I’ve never owned anything that cost that much, so it scares me a little to think of having all that money on my finger!

It’s not a standard engagement ring, it’s a lot more me.

Lots of the advice I was given said to go with an independent jewellers and take my time, but I found it on the first trip in a chain jewellers.

I think you’re all right and I’m massively over thinking it. Had DP proposed with this ring I’d have been entirely thrilled.

And Squoosh of course I’m optimistic! I wouldn’t be marrying him if I wasn’t!

OP posts:
YouWereRight · 07/01/2018 11:31

My mum went off her engagement ring, so got a new one for her 30th anniversary.

elQuintoConyo · 07/01/2018 12:43

I typed in 'vintage sapphire ring' into ebay and up popped my ring.

I haven't worn it since ds' birth as my fingers swelled up. 6 years ago. My wedding ring is rather embedded too, they would have had to cut it off if ds was delivered by emcs, which nearly happened.

So, still wearing my wedding ring after 8 years, engagement ring lasted 1year+half. I could have it resized i suppose, but don't have the spare cash. She cost €150. Rings in their thousands aren't really my cup of tea.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 07/01/2018 20:19

I knew exactly what I wanted when we went to the jewellers but was also open minded. I suggested looking in the window first but DH said let's go in. Spent an enjoyable hour looking and rejecting until the owner asked if we'd looked in the window. So we did and there it was.

It cost hundreds rather than thousands but I did feel a bit nervous wearing it for the first few weeks. Just make sure you insure it separately.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 07/01/2018 20:20

And congratulations!

Liz38 · 07/01/2018 20:54

I looked at some common sense stuff like I wanted to wear my ring all the time so i needed a fairly flat surface, not something that would snag and catch on everything. I always said I wanted a big fuck off solitude so I tried some on and they didn't suit my hand at all. In the end I chose a ring that I feel in love with. It's not at all what I thought I'd choose and 15 years on i still love it. Same happened with a wedding dress, i picked something I'd never have contemplated if i hadn't tried it on.

CaseStudyResearch · 07/01/2018 21:10

I picked the one that I didn't want to take off. Mine is fairly unusual without being too out-there and really suits my hand.

AnonEvent · 07/01/2018 21:18

I’ve never much liked my engagement ring, I chose it myself, but it’s never really auit d my hand.

I wear my wedding band and eternity ring (that DH bought me when I had DD) every day though, they mean 10000x more to me.