Curly hair & tying back for school

[slimyslitheryslug]

DD has a mass of fine, blonde wavy hair. When we're on holiday in the sun and it dries quickly, it goes into ringlets; in the UK, it just goes into waves and then frizzes as soon as we brush it. And we have to brush it as anything other than a bob has to be tied back for school, preferably plaits.
The most pain free way I have found is to wash it, brush it through with conditioner, rinse out the conditioner, brush again, squeeze dry and plait it and then re-plait it every morning and evening. It just seems a bit Victorian that her hair is constantly tied back and in a fairly severe style.
What else could we do?
Thanks

Eeeeek. Never ever dry brush curly hair.

Are you near Birmingham? Because there's a curly salon, Spring, and they're bloody brilliant.

Have you seen any of the curly girl method stuff on line? That might help too.

Couldn't you use a wide tooth comb to sweep it off her face and into a ponytail? It will be bumpy against her scalp rather than smooth but would look very nice.A little hair oil will make it more manageable and disguise any frizz/wisps. Naturally curly hair is beautiful.

Following. 2 girls with dryish each hair. Used to single when young but frizzes when brushed.

BUT if I don't brush it they look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards and is too tangly to plait, easily mats. :(

Wavy not each. Sounds similar in that it's not actual tight curls but gentle waves and lthe odd ringlet if freshly conditioned.

I always brush dd'a hair when wet and then scrunch it up. It stays pretty curly then. For school she has plaits or 2 ponytails which I twist round my finger so they fall into 2 ringlets. I have a spray bottle that I fill with water for doing her hair in the mornings

Use a wide toothed shower comb and comb when it's got conditioner in. Use a tiny bit of hair serum before you dry it. It will be so much less frizzy. Plaiting at night is a good move to protect it from matting in particular. French plaits, ponytails, pigtails and buns are all options for during the day.

My DD has long, thick, loosely curly hair. I've become a dab hand at a number of plaits over the last couple of years - French plait, Dutch plait, fishtail, Dutch fishtail, Elsa braid. Different ways to do multiple plaits & then combine them. Perhaps a bun would be a nice option, depending on the age of your DD (mine is only 5 & runs about too much, her hair is too heavy for a bun to stay in all day & she can't retighten it herself yet).

Try YouTube for ideas also.

It’s frizzy because you are brushing it and eventually that will become the default setting even on holiday. Like others have said get a wide tooth comb, use leave in conditioner (can get sprays), and rather than scrape back hair, just tie it enough. Natural hair texture is good.

Oh and her hair would go frizzy and wavy if I brushed it dry. If I wet it every morning it goes curly

Why do you need to brush? Curly hair shouldn't be, just put it into plaits or into a bobble. It won't be flat and smooth but as it isn't straight, you shouldn't really expect that.

I spent years trying to get a flat ponytail now I go with it and it's so much nicer. Brushing curls created broken hair. 😕

Have you tried the curly girl method on her? Look up the fb group.

The last thing you shoukd be doing is brushing it dry. You need a very wide toothed comb. Could you use a serum or a leave in conditioner? I think then tied back would look lovely even if a bit bumpy. That's just the nature of curly hair. Sounds beautiful!

I suppose you could always cut it to a bob length...?

You need to comb their hair through with your fingers or a wide tooth comb when washing it. That's all it needs to detangle it. Do not brush it between washes. My entire childhood was having my very curly hair brushed and it was always a tangled mess.
My daughter and I both have very curly hair. I wet comb when washing it and don't comb or brush it inbetween washes. Curly hair needs moisture so a good conditioner and then something like a serum will help with frizz and will probably bring the ringlets back too.
There's a book called Unruly Curls which is a good guide to curly hair, they have a salon in London too.

itusedtobeverydifferent no child wants to contend with a curly bob. I've been there, not good

Firstly stop brushing her hair! When you wash it, put conditioner on it then comb through with a wide toothed comb before you rinse. When you do her hair in the morning, keep a spray bottle of water with a tiny bit of conditioner in it, spray the hair and comb with your fingers.

I've tried not brushing my eldest - long hair, but it knots and tangles so much I end up going back to brushing :( It looks lovely and wavy when freshly conditioned and brushed wet but we can't do that every morning.

Ah yes, forgot to mention. Only brush curly hair if it's damp. I fill a spray bottle with about 30ml water, a few drops of essential oil , a small squirt of pure aloe Vera gel, & about 1ml argan oil or jojoba oil - it needs a good shake before each use, it makes a lovely leave in conditioning spray. And I don't believe in washing hair too frequently. I use a comb without any rough moulding marks on, & only use hair ties without metal parts as they catch the hair & can pull it out.

How old is she? DD had fine, frizzy hair until I realised it was meant to be curly. Now I no longer brush it - only comb when very wet with a wide comb. It’s in a chin length bob so a couple of slides at the sides work well. Now just long enough for a ponytail if she wants it.

Get a hairdryer with a diffuser attachment, work in a little leave in conditioner or mousse for curly hair (gel is too heavy if her hair is really fine) and dry it about 50%. comb it gently into a high ponytail (just the sides , front and back - just enough to get it into a pony, don't run the comb through the ends) and put it up with one of those little telephone-cord hair bands. Finish drying the ponytail.

This will take longer than plaits obviously, but if you get her a satin pillowcase you can do it the night before and just spray the ponytail with a little water and use your fingers to give the ringlets a bit of shape in the morning.

Forgot to add - even with the diffuser, don't start with towel-dried or barely damp hair. Once you get it combed out, use a spray bottle to get it totally wet again before you start drying. Sounds counterintuitive but it's the only way to get proper defined, shiny, healthy-looking ringlets.

How long is it?
The best way to plait curly hair is just gather gently at the nape of the neck without brushing or combing, then divide in three with your fingers, loosely plait 3/4 tines then tie off.
If it’s not long enough to do that then I’d just do a nape of neck ponytail.

It won't be flat and smooth but as it isn't straight, you shouldn't really expect that.

I agree with this and wish I'd learned it when I was younger.

You can tie it back or plait it without having to brush it - just separate with your fingers enough to get it into the right place.

I probably should have said that we tried curly girl method over the summer holidays last year but it just knotted and matted and began to look like dreadlocks rather than the gorgeous ringlets that some of my (adult) friends have. Her hair is so thick that whilst the top layer will curl, the underlayers just mat and fingers or a wide tooth comb either go around it or hit it and can't get through it (and by layers, I mean the natural depths of her hair rather than cut layers). Again, the mass of it means that you can't gather it into a loose ponytail as, as soon as she is upside down on the climbing frame, it just falls out. Anything tighter like plaits requires more than finger brushing as it is clumped together.
Sorry this sounds so defensive. I have so many different shampoos, crimes, sprays and brushes none of which seem to do anything other than cause pain and misery and DD is quite a tomboy who doesn't care for sitting around having her hair styled when her brother just gets to jump out of bed, vaguely wave a comb in the direction of his head & that's it.
We are only an hour or so by train from Birmingham. Maybe that is worth a go.

Honestly I would do the hairdresser at Birmingham if you can. They're usually great at product ideas and tips too, and if she gets started with great hair care now it will hopefully carry on!

It might seem a bit extreme to people with straight hair but it really is so individual. I spent years using frizz ease, trying other products and thinking my curls were ok. Swapped to curly girl and it's been a learning curve and a revelation. But if you say to anyone with straight hair "I don't use shampoo, brush it and it takes 3 days to dry" they think you're mad

Curly girl definitely works for some, and not for others. I have adopted some of its ideas but not all the way.