Things you really want to wear but can’t because you look flippin’ awful!

[CarrieBradshawsScrunchie]

Roll necks. I know I look awful in them. I’ve known it for ever. But then I see Margo Robbie rocking a black roll neck in The Wolf of Wall Street and looking amazing, or I start musing how warm and cosy roll neck jumpers look for the winter... particularly those fitted, sleek ones, and before I know it I order a cute, red roll neck knitted dress from Boohoo at the miraculous price of £20 and it arrives and I try it on and it’s lovely in every conceivable way except for the roll neck ... which gives me the jawline of a very old and very angry witch.

I KNEW this. And now I feel sad and hideous I have to send it back.

Sigh. Anyone else have anything they’d LOVE to be able to wear but can’t. Ever. ?

Sequin dresses. I love the look of them, but alas look like a drag queen.
I am tall and of a solid build which puts on muscle easily, so floaty little summer dresses and floral things give me a look of eastern bloc shotputter

Too old for floaty transparent tops.

Too bosomy for strapless anything.

But below the waist, I can rock it. Tight, leather, bring it on!

Disclaimer. I might not, but I could, at 61.

I probably look awful in most of my clothes, but I wear them anyway. I refuse to have that much self-awareness

Jump suits and pencil skirts !
My post children/ eating too much chocolate & bread stomach looks terrible in both

In the summer I want to wear knee length linen skirts with strappy tops and flip flops. I want to look casual but summery, cool and maybe a bit youthful.

In reality I look like my gran.

Skirts. I'm a size 8/10 but my waist is practically at my armpits and waistbands disappear beneath flab.

Shaggy/fringed tops. They make my chest look enormous.
Mid-calf boots - I have short legs and have to buy very low ankle boots to avoid my calves disappearing altogether.

Any top that finishes at my waistband. Sadly I'm 5,8 so this is a lot of tops.

It's the worst possible place for a top to finish after two pregnancies.

Onesies. I would love to have one but the sizing is ridiculous. Kids ones too small, adult ones too big. I cannot be the only person in the world with a 27" inside leg.

I haven't worn a skirt since 2002. I would love to wear a skirt but tree trunk legs and cankles is not a good look.

DH said that the ravens will be leaving London Tower when my legs are next seen in public.

Most dresses and skirts. loose sweaters. T shirts.

Anything over the knee. Even when I was 21 I looked shit. Legs too longcand like knots in cotton.

Trousers and fitted tops are my thing

I have a frock for NY Eve. I will feel shit

At 5ft nothing and a size 6-8:

Anything oversize
Anything with a large print
Wide leg, slouchy man style trousers

Skinny jeans. TBH any 'trendy' trousers .
Skirts above the knee.
Shorts.
Sadly I have horrendous legs, so it rules out many things!

Biker jackets. They make me look top heavy.
And brogues - I look like I borrowed my Dad's shoes (big feet).

Chic, high neck dresses (shelf like bosom), and skinny jeans (arse)

Jump suits
Pleated midi skirts

Anthony with a high neckline-I go from buxom to matronly the second my collar bones are covered. Only button down shirts for me I am afraid

Mermaid style dresses. They are supposed to be sexy, however I am very skinny at the the top and with very skinny legs and bottom but more like half deflated manatee in the middle part. They make me look like I gave birth yesterday (not 5 years ago)

Beanie hats or any hats without a brim i look like benny from crossroads

Clothes.

But look worse without them

White. I'd love to be one of those wafty slender women with tanned limbs in a white linen kaftan looking all beachy and gorgeous. Every year I try something like this on and look like I'm in a theatre gown waiting to go for emergency surgery.

Calzone yes exactly what I was thinking, how sad some people feel nothing suits them. I love people watching and have seen people of all different shapes and builds looking great. There are so many great resources on the Internet now. Please find a person with your shape-a celebrity, Pinterest eg, who you think looks good and just look at what they wear, copy outfits.

Anything sleeveless, I work hard diet wise to remain a size 8-10 but my bingo wings are disproportionately huge and I'm so self conscious of them