Feeling old.. The rites of passage for those with daughters.

[alliben22]

Just back from a mid-week Winter wedding of good friends. Felt perfectly fine until my almost 15 year old daughter appeared. Of course my overwhelming emotion was pride in how utterly lovely she looked... But is it normal that a tiny portion of me thought " oh crap, I'm suddenly old, fat, wrinkly and unimportant". I hasten to add that I'm happily married and not looking for random male attention... But tonight hit hard for some reason. Am I crackers??

I don't think there's anything wrong in saying our DDs are stunning or whatever. Let's face it there's enough people in life ready to bring you down, so yes most of us here think our kids are gorgeous and aren't afraid to say it either. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm sure we could all discuss non physical attributes but this is a style and beauty forum so its relevant here.

But can't our daughters just be attractive?

Does anyone on MN have a DD who isn't "striking" or "stunning"

Dd has always been told she is the spitting image of me when I was younger (just a blinder, taller, skinnier version). So naturally of course she is stunning

This tread really makes me sad, that you all see yourselves as past it. I would hate to think that of myself, to relegate myself to being fat, unkept, and, well, invisible.
Sure I don't have the best figure; size 14, a tummy with the scars of four pregnancies, skin as white as snow but not in a good way; my hair is a mess - boring brown that looks like it's been dragged through a hedge backwards if I don't spend hours styling it, and a face that has the signs of not having had a full nights sleep in over two years, but my god I am still a beautiful woman in my own right.

Please please ladies see the beauty in you

Blonder not blinder

I was also wondering if anybody has a daughter who isn't a stunner

My daughter's pretty enough but I envy her her chance to do it all and hopefully make good choices. She'll make a few bad decisions no doubt but she couldn't do as badly as I did. She finds school easy. I would like to live the live she is going to live, I hope. That might sound stupid.

hashtaglifie I don't see myself as past it but I have been feeling a bit ignored at work (nothing malicious just ageism I think) and my efforts to find love on line all came to nought. So it's not ME who thinks I'm past it at 47. I think I'm in good nic! I think it's society who sees me as past it. And that is what makes me sad. I'm not sitting here looking at my body getting depressed. I feel sad when men a few years older than I am ignore me because they are hoping to 'go younger'. I feel sad when I crack a joke at work and it's just left hanging but if one of the younger ones had said it, it would have got a great laugh.

I have dd early 20s and gorgeous but l never think about being old beside her. Im mid 50s and get lots of compliments from her..about looks but more about how l live my life. Lots of interests ..longterm friends..gym etc . She keeps saying youre brilliant which is great. But l never cared what l looked like much . Looking at photos l looked dam good but l think depending on looks for happiness is a losers game.

My mother spent most of my youth telling me I had an odd nose, my limbs were too long for my body, and if I did well at anything I was accused of showing off. Nothing she ever said to me was positive. I believed everything she said about me, and it affected my opinion of myself to such a degree that even now I find it difficult to believe when people think I'm attractive. I could never do that to my children. All children are beautiful, especially mine

The thing about my daughter that makes the most proud, is her ability to tune in to anyone who is feeling lonely, sad, or left out and she envelopes them in love and good cheer. She is the kindest most loving person. And that makes her shine [teary]

Antheanna im sure you’re not imagining it. I am 50 and have sensed the danger of being seen as irrelevant at work. I am trying to counter it by getting involved in projects and taking on responsibilities. I know the 20 somethings probably don’t think my issues are relevant to them/ couldn’t even imagine them ( ageing and ill parents, kids’ 11 plus exams etc) but they have their own issues too which they probably prefer to share with their contemporaries. I also notice the men looking past me at the younger woman behind me- that’s life, I was young once and have to accept its their turn. Not easy though.

Oh I love being seen as irrelevant at work. I've found it very liberating to be free of all the career ladder stuff. I still work pretty hard because it's engrained and I do feel my team mates appreciate me - which is important - but no-one else gives a stuff and the feeling is mutual.

15yo dd found my old gymslip at my parents' house. The sort that's like a very short kilt without any pattern. The crossover bit just about meets across my stomach, and my bum appears below the skirt. Dd loves it and wears it with elegance and panache. It sits lightly on her.

One end of my mental seesaw goes down with a thump: how old and fat and flabby and lumpen I am. The other end of my mental seesaw goes flying skyward: how beautiful dd is, how I must have been as slender and lovely as she is .