I've just got back from five days in Le Marais, and I've decided I want become Parisian, s'il vous plait.

[TossDaily]

So there.

EVERYBODY looked fantastic. EVERYBODY. DP and I just sat open-mouthed in fascination. Whatever their age, they looked amazing.

So I'm sitting here on a diet, wearing an Isabel Marant jumper and frantically googling 'How to turn French.'

As far as I can tell, the rules are:

1. Be thin, despite the fact you are walking down the street at 11am gnawing a cheese and ham baguette the length of your forearm.
   

1. Have your hair the colour and texture of natural hair.
   

1. Have the most amazing skin, despite the fact you have a permanent Gauloise on the go.
   

1. Never get pissed and lairy, despite the fact you are having a glass of red wine with your lunch and it's Tuesday.
   

1. Wear shoes you can walk in.
   

1. Have an amazing coat.
   

1. Know how to tie a scarf so it looks like you have slung it on and it's just choosing to snuggle up to you because you are SO FRICKING GORGEOUS.
   

1. Have a pharmacy on every corner that is just an Aladdin's Cave of miraculous skincare delights for less than a tenner each.
   

Anyone else have any tips? Joking aside, I loved the style - the shops, ohmigod the shops! It was like I'd walked into my internet shopping history.

I could actually walk around in my biker jacket without feeling like a twat.

I want to be French. Aidez-moi.

[TossDaily]

YY to the 'Bonjour' - I did quite well until I got into a taxi and suddenly thought I was in London.

I just did the 'Destination please' thing and got told off by the taxi driver

Seemed fair so I didn't mind.

[PNGirl]

Actually looking at it, it currently isn't that cold, but it feels it!

[TossDaily]

It was that lovely crisp Autumn weather - sunny, blue skies, but cold.

Except for one rainy day.

Even the weather is attractive.

[Ktown]

i work in france a lot. the women have incredible self control and no one cares about commenting on body weight.

there is none of this treating yourself. you don't eat much apart from protein and copious amounts of salad and fruit for lunch. and yogurt for snacks.

the food they eat is just healthier. it isn't the same across france but vast parts of paris are like this.

no one would hesitate to tell their children they are overweight and need to cut back on sweets.

[BitOutOfPractice]

botemp I have been humiliated and belittled too many times in French shops to fall for that I'm afraid botemp, even when I've spoken my very passable French. I didn't realise it was my fault!

[Littlechocola]

I want a holiday

[BitOutOfPractice]

"no one cares about commenting on body weight."

I'd suggest that the people on the receiving end do care very much ktown. Did you read the article that Ofthread posted earlier?

[Shakey15000]

I soooo want to go to Paris. DH isn’t keen (bah humbug) as he has been there tons in a previous job.

Won’t stop me booking it though

The other thing the French do well which is non visible is pelvic health after childbirth. Something that is woefully lacking in the UK and rest of the bloody world.

If anyone is interested I’ve started a thread in Site Stuff asking MN to do a web chat about Pelvic Organ Prolapse. I will link thread later (on phone at the moment and don’t know how ) so if anyone thinks it’s a good idea they can post support for web chat on it.

Not a hiijack as such, just thought it was worth bringing up here

[Ktown]

i didn't read that thread 'BitOutOfPractice'.
i am not saying it is right. but it certainly focuses the mind. whenever i go there i normally come back and am careful about what i eat for a few days. until i forget!!

[BitOutOfPractice]

Sorry, I realise I'm being a bit not-in-the-spirit-of-the-thread

I have a place in France (south) and so love it, just find some of their attitudes rude different

I'll slope off now, unstylishly

[TossDaily]

Maybe I can just choose the nice bits of being La Parisienne?

Without the fat shaming and the rude shopkeepers. Bring un petit peu of Paris to my little bit of Yorkshire?

[BitOutOfPractice]

Ktown the link was on this thread here

[eyebrowseyebrows]

I haven't been to France lately but have become a tiny bit obsessed just via watching Justine LeConte on YT.

I'm already covering a soup maker and am planning to eat only soup and a little charcuterie for dinner despite the fact I'm a greedy size 20.

I have resting bitch face though so I can definitely at least appear rude and having worked with Parisians a lot I have the Gallic shrug down to a tee.

[eyebrowseyebrows]

Have just been perusing 'French style' on Pinterest.

Sadly it is not made for those of us abundant in arse and boobs. I don't look effortlessly chic in a pair of skinnies, a top and navy blazer....waaaah!

[TossDaily]

eyebrows try wide leg trousers and a pair of Stan Smiths? That, with a scarf and a red lip - tres chic!

It's what I'll be doing until the salads kick in...

[eyebrowseyebrows]

I actually just tried on skinnies with a navy vest and the one blazer I've ever found that suits me...navy with a sort of waterfall type front.

I'm about to add leopard print pointy flats, a scarf and a hint of red lip stick to sweep into town for a coffee caramel latte from Starbucks and chocolate croissant.

[botemp]

Bit, I've personally never had terrible experiences but then that doesn't mean that's the norm either. Outside of Paris I do think staff can be more brusque and a bit short. There is a fundamental difference I think that the customer is most definitely not king in France and at times it feels like they're not interested in selling anything. Dealing with customer service or helplines can be a nightmare. Staff can be difficult sometimes, I've had instances where they think they know your size better than you do, they don't. They are definitely more overtly judgemental. Casual xenophobia, sexism, racism, anti-semitism is very common across society. I don't think they even have ageism in their lexicon as it's so embedded. I used to have a French hairdresser, every appointment came with lots of tiny subtle digs, the haircut made it worth it but it must be extremely tiring to be subjected to that 24/7. Plenty of good but plenty of bad like most places I suppose.

Definitely embrace the good bits OP. A bit non S&B related but good further Paris reading, Me Talk Pretty by David Sedaris is highly amusing and The Sweet Life in Paris by pastry chef David Leibovitz is also lovely. As is his blog, albeit a calorific death trap I always check his latest restaurant finds before heading to Paris.

[TossDaily]

Hooray, eyebrows!

Go rock it, and be bien dans sa peau!

[TossDaily]

Ooh, I have that David Sedaris book on Audible, Botemp.

[Countduckulanose]

Caroline de Margret= queen

[TossDaily]

Isn't she, Countduckulanose?

Isn't she just. Sigh.

[oldlaundbooth]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2414677-How-can-I-be-more-French

French thread as a pp mentioned

[TossDaily]

Ooh!

No chance of getting any work done this afternoon either then...

[oldlaundbooth]

It's all about portion size.

MIL (French, miserable) served me compote de pomme as dessert and it was ONE tablespoon. One.

I rest my case, mes amis.

[oldlaundbooth]

Nah toss you're fucked