Update on my invisible woman syndrome

[ProperLavs]

A few weeks back I posted at my sadness at seemingly becoming invisible middle aged woman.
I decided I wasn't going to simply disappear without a fight so did something about it. This last few weeks I've had more compliments than I remember having had for years.
This is what I have done so far:
Got rid of all the clothes and shoes that didn't make me feel attractive when I wore them, it turns out I had a lot of those.

Upped my use of retin A

Made sure I double cleanse, exfoliatie and massage my skin daily.

Restart using vitamin c and msm on my face daily

Do my daily facial exercises- my neck has already toned up hugely.

Invested in some good quality make up

Henna- ed my hair

So I thought I would give some hope perhaps to others who are feeling a bit meh about themselves.

Yes please for the neck exercise link

I do these.

www.livestrong.com/slideshow/1011117-10-exercises-reduce-double-chin/#slide=9

found the easy way to get through them is when chillin' watching telly or when bored. Maybe not get so bored you accidentally do the big fish pout on the bus, would be my advice based on life experience.

Thanks Lana

Op, you are inspiring me!
Glad you can still pull in those complements

Have you got a link to your previous thread please? interested to read tips.

I remember that thread. I'm really happy you reported back and even happier you got your mojo back.

If you want a retinol product recommendation, I use this every night, and really like it.

It's really nice to hear OP. I remember your thread and sadly identify too much with it. Sometimes I feel absolutely invisible, I've lost all confidence. And that lack of confidence means people just don't notice me, to the pint I could be talking to someone and it's like they don't hear me.

I need to take a leaf out of your book

Congrats OP!

You've inspired me to JFDI - no more excuses!

bicycles I started my original thread wanting tips. As happens with threads it didn't go that way. It turned into a discussion about whether invisibility existed and why it might. People had differing views of course.
I think because there weren't really any tips I decided to do something myself.
The getting rid of the shabby, past their best clothes clothes turned out to be really important as did the investing in some foundation and highlighter that was expensive. Firstly it makes me look better and I am rubbish with these things and secondly it gives me a message that I am worth spending the kind of money on.
Perhaps it's a bit like having a really expensive set of underwear on- you know how much it cost and you know it's there but no one else does ( I haven't got any expensive underwear).
Changing my hair colour slightly has also really helped lift my features. It is a warmer colour and makes me look healthier. It also makes me hair shine like buggery so that in itself is a more youthful feature.
Walking home from a piano lesson with my 10 year old ds yesterday and I bumped into an acquaintance would was telling me how well I looked. When she had gone my ds told me I should keep the new hair colour as it was making people say I looked good all the time!

snipsnip do it, do something, start with your wardrobe. I use the mari Kondo method. I pile all my clothes on the floor and ask if they 'spark joy' if they don't, if there's even an inkling that they might not, they go in the charity bag'

If I Marie Kondoed my wardrobe, I would be left with about 3 outfits & because I'm not a standard dress size and fussy about fabrics it would not be easy to replace my current clothes. How do you get around that?

So pleased to hear this op. I remember your thread very well and how down you sounded and I'm sorry you didn't get the help you were looking for (although it was an interesting discussion).

I'm going to stick out my ageing neck and say I still think invisibility can happen, although it may not affect everyone. I don't believe either that it's self inflicted as some posters on the last thread implied. I can honestly say I'm as vain and as obsessed with clothes as it gets and I've still noticed a change this last year or two in how younger people (I'm talking about strangers) perceive me. But mostly I feel ok about it and it's even made me more adventurous in how I dress.

Your thread also made me think about whether I'm equally guilty of not seeing old people and I've been making a conscious effort since.

My best anti invisibility cloak is a black leather biker jacket, plain and well cut.

Lana Thanks for the link- if you can imagine me sitting here in my work outfit and slippers, gurning over my granola- it's quite a sight

OP I lurked on your last thread- and it became a bit of a debate, so I'm glad you took the bull by the horns.
I agree that your internal attitude does shine out (somehow) and giving yourself care and attention does attract compliments. Thanks for the inspiration

I've not heard of protect 333, will look it up 😀

I'll def look at the face exercises thanks.

Would love to Marie k my wardrobe but I own like 3 outfits so I'd be working in my pjamas!

I'm absolutely broke now and can't afford new clothes, hair etc but I'm going to look at what I can do free at home and start from there!

I've been feeling a bit down about my looks lately, have put on a bit of weight, but, having coffee today I noticed another woman my age. Same haircut and colour, similar clothes and make up, and I thought she looked great. It really cheered me up. Funnily enough, her DH was dressed very like mine too.

Happy for you OP!

Two years ago, the GP was surprised when I told her my age and she told me I didn't look my age.

She has stopped telling me that.

So now thinking of buying the CT Light Wonder foundation I was using that time? :P

I think that's what I've found the hardest, people always used to say I looked young for my age, they looked shocked when I told them.
Now I wait for the shocked 'ooh you don't look ...' It doesn't happen. They just nod.
It's a double whammy. Like aging 10 years overnight..sigh.

Yeah and to rub salt to my open wound, last week I attended an event in uni and I was sat next to a young girl, probably early 20s max. In the not so distant past (like few months ago), when I told my classmate (masters) that I have been here in Australia since 4 years ago, he asked me if that was for my bachelors degree (of course, I was so flattered!).

This girl asked me, "how old are you?"

For those interested in Retinol/Retinoids, look at the Ordinary. It’s all massively confusing but don’t go for the strongest first, choose a gentle one and only start by using once a week, moisturise well after and use sunscreen during the days.

Victoria Health has some great reviews on TO products. Click on the pink links when you get to the page. www.victoriahealth.com/brand/The-Ordinary/1053

The Ordinary’s portfolio of retinoids includes the following formulations:

Granactive Retinoid 2% in Squalane (Moderate Strength, No Irritation)

Granactive Retinoid 5% in Squalane (High Strength, No to Low Irritation)

Retinol 0.2% in Squalane (Low Strength, Moderate Irritation)

Retinol 0.5% in Squalane (Moderate Strength, High Irritation)

Retinol 1% in Squalane (High Strength, Very High Irritation)

For those who have many £££s falling out of their pockets, you can go straight to NIOD products... a whole other level.

This is fantastic OP! Well done AND Happy Birthday for tomorrow