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Original poster

Help with DD fine knotty hair and upset

42 replies

Trb17 · 01/09/2017 08:41

Please can anyone help?

DD(11) has fine hair but lots of it. Many brushes don't even get through as whilst it's fine she has 'underlayers' of hair growing (in different directions in places!) so only a decent brush can get through all the layers.

It gets so so knotty and she's so scalp sensitive to the pain of brushing (has been since a baby as she was born with a mullet of hair!) that it's now getting the be a nightmare for her and really upsetting her.

It's medium length and she wants it longer so cutting is not an option.

Can anyone recommend any good products to help with the knots or even help with the scalp sensitivity?

As a typical girl her age she wants to wear it loose and down but she's sobbing in pain from the knots daily and it's made her too scared to brush her own hair.

If it was me I'd get it cut shorter but she doesn't want that so any advice on products to try to help would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:

ShesAStar · 01/09/2017 08:48

Your poor daughter, sounds so stressful. My daughter has similar fine hair that knots easily and I use a leave in spray on conditioner. I use the Aussie one but I'm sure they're all the same. Once it's sprayed on I comb through it bit by bit. Makes her hair lovely and shiney too.

wildthoughtz · 01/09/2017 08:50

Unite 7 second leave in detangler and a tangle teezer / wet brush.

LoniceraJaponica · 01/09/2017 08:51

The options are:

Cut it shorter - even an inch makes a huge difference. I know because I have had this with DD
Buy a detangler spray
Plait it rather than leave it loose

She can't have it exactly the way she wants at the length she wants without the tangles I'm afraid.

Nuttynoo · 01/09/2017 08:53

If it's thin then a leave in conditioner (Aussie do nice ones) followed by a tangle teezer will work fine.

Hidingtonothing · 01/09/2017 08:53

I've always used Johnsons no more tangles conditioner spray on DD's fine hair, everything else I've tried seems to make it look greasy. I won't say it completely solves the problem but it definitely makes brushing more bearable for her.

bluebiro · 01/09/2017 08:57

Try a Wet Brush (can get it at Amazon, Boots, lots of places). I've discovered it this year and find it amazing - for me it gets through knotty hair (when wet) really easily & without pain. I use it in the shower to brush through conditioner & then again after washing. The bristles seem really flimsy like they wouldn't go through anything but they do! Hope that might help.

Original poster

Trb17 · 01/09/2017 08:57

Thanks all. I've just made her have about an inch and a half cut off two days ago in a desperate attempt to help but it's still knotting terribly.

I've bought both Tangle teaser brushes and wet brushes and both nearly put her through the roof in pain I think it's because of how her hair grows in layers underneath that means they just don't work in her.

I blame her Dad as he has a triple crown and hair that grows in random directions!

OP posts:

Crispbutty · 01/09/2017 08:57

I have really fine but curly hair and it's gets so tangled. I find plaiting it at night before I go to bed helps a lot.

Original poster

Trb17 · 01/09/2017 08:58

I am also noting down the leave in conditioner suggestions as I've not found one that works yet but there are some I've not tried being mentioned so thank you.

OP posts:

Crispbutty · 01/09/2017 09:01

Also the pound shop sells really wide tooth combs which are great. Put loads of conditioner on and comb through the hair then rinse, then comb again as it dries.

Fantasticmissfoxy · 01/09/2017 09:02

I have hair like this ;
'Wet' brush (this is a brand of paddle brush)

Never wash hair without brushing it first to get all the knots out

Never wash upside down over the bath etc, in the shower or with head back while she's in the bath

Don't scrub or rub the hair, work the shampoo through the hair in a downward direction only (I've found Keihls amino acid shampoo and conditioner best but it is expensive and herbal essences will do at a push)

Squeeze hair out a wee bit after rinsing off shampoo, spread a decent amount of conditioner (size of a ping pong ball) through her hair from the nape of the neck down. Use your fingers or a very wide tooth comb to spread it through the hair. Leave for at least 3 mins before rinsing out

Squeeze and pat hair dry with a microfibre hair towel (tk Maxx) do not rub or scrub it.

Spray a little leave in conditioner and comb with wide tooth comb. Blow dry (aim air down only) or leave to dry.

Before bed, always always brush through and put in a plait. If it's windy, put it in a plait. If she's swimming, put it in a plait. You get the idea 😉

Basically if hair likes this gets tangled it's horrible to get out so the more you can do to stop it tangling the better

BlueCowWonders · 01/09/2017 09:07

Once it's brushed after a day with it loose, it needs to be plaited overnight. I've found it's the least stressful solution all round.

Bluebell9 · 01/09/2017 09:11

I've got thin curly hair so it gets very knotty. I find using argon oil and a tangle teaser works really well. And as fantastic said, brush before washing and don't wash upside down.

SavoyCabbage · 01/09/2017 09:15

My dd sleeps in plaits and a sleep bonnet. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01N9O5HD4?psc=1It makes a massive difference to her hair. I make them myself now but if you live in an ethnic area they are readily available.

Patchouli666 · 01/09/2017 09:15

Could be build up of silicone on her hair. Mine is the same. I use tresemme deep clean shampoo and boots also do their own clarifying one in a cream/ mushroom soup (!) coloured bottle.
Apply as usual lather, leave for a min then rinse and repeat. Then condition. I use Shea moisture Jamaican castor oil conditioner in the pump bottle ( Amazon) and it really helps.

I used to trim as I thought it was snaggy ends tangling but with a once a month / six weeks deep clean I have grown my hair to my bum and it rarely tangles.

Patchouli666 · 01/09/2017 09:17

And my hair was seriously knotty before - one big solid dreadlock at my nape after a nights sleep

Patchouli666 · 01/09/2017 09:18

Oh, and after clarifying, give it a week amd use a swimmers shampoo. They are different to clarifying ones...they are chelating which removes mineral build up from hard water, pool chemicals etc.
With using both of those on a every couple of months basis, I'm sure it will help a lot.

honours · 01/09/2017 09:19

My daughter has fine, curly frizzy hair. We've tried lots of brushes from tangle tamer, teazers to just combing when conditioned and wet. Her scalp is super sensitive as well.

I picked up this brush randomly from boots, it's not perfect but I would say it's improved hair brushing a million times over for us.

kentbrushes.com/ladies/pf01

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 01/09/2017 09:21

Don't completely rinse out the conditioner when it's washed.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 01/09/2017 09:22

My dd's Hair was like this for years. Plaiting it in one plait at night was the best thing.

I never found the spray in detanglers any good. Ton of conditioner whilst wet was the best thing

MissEliza · 01/09/2017 09:25

My dd has similar hair to your dds. What really made a difference is a spray called Revlon One which is basically a leave in conditioner. I spray it on and leave the hair to dry naturally. I don't brush her hair when it's wet. When it's dry I brush it with the tangle teezer. I got it from Amazon. It's about £8.

Etymology23 · 01/09/2017 09:25

My hair gets really knotty when I don't have it cut for too long. Sometimes I: divide up the hair into layers and brush those layers separately, or put it in a pony tail and start holding the hair part way down the pony tail and brush from there - so then I'm not putting any pressure on the scalp, just the hair. Once tangles are out of the first bit, I can then move up the hair a bit. Could this be combined with thendividing into layers to reduce the pain?

Alternatively are there some more "interesting" hairstyles she could do, so it wasn't just plait or ponytail?

I also find putting my hair up at night helps stop it from tangling (or at least reduces the amount of the day when tangling is getting worse) and that if I wear necklaces with a clasp at the back, that can often make it more tangled.

LexieLulu · 01/09/2017 09:28

I second the unite 7 second detangle conditioner. God send

SavoyCabbage · 01/09/2017 09:33

Your dd's hair will react in a different way to different products and brushes. I've two girls and their hair looks exactly the same. But it isn't at all although it's similar in that it's a lot of work!

About four years ago I decided to have 'the year of the hair' as we'd been struggling on with hair for years. I used different products and different methods and different brushes until we had it sorted. Now they both use the same conditioner (tresseme with the coconut on the bottle) and one doesn't shampoo. One wears the hat, one doesn't need to. One sleeps in coconut oil once a week, the other only once a month. One has a boar hair hairbrush, the other a tangle Teese. But it was a lot of trial and error.

KnucklestheEchidna · 01/09/2017 09:38

My hair is also very fine with lots of it (produces comments from hairdressers all the time). I had very long hair when I was 11 as well and this also prompted lots of knotting and pain, the best thing for me was previously mentioned leave-in conditioners and also being very careful to section my hair and brush each section from the bottom up, a little bit at a time. It took a lot longer than just quickly running a brush through my hair in the morning but it meant that if I encountered a knot then I could detangle it before running the hairbrush through, meaning a lot less pain. Also making sure to brush it throughout the day and keeping it tied up above my pillow when sleeping, so that any knots don't get worse.

Now I'm older, I keep my hair in a bob cut so have far less issues but I also have an undercut which means I have a lot less hair at the back of my head, and it seems to tangle less as a result, so I would recommend looking into that (google 'female undercut long hair' for examples).

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