Soon to be Uni Daughter - won't wear any dresses! Ideas Needed!

[GrimDamnFanjo]

Lovely DD doesn't do dresses - it is years since she last wore one, fair enough.
She is going to a big University in a month and she will be invited to formal dinners. I don't want her to miss out as she has nothing to wear, or feel under-dressed and uncomfortable [she refused to go to any Proms] so I'm looking for alternatives that may interest her so if she does decide to accept an invite she won't look out of place amongst all the cocktail dresses.
These are my ideas so far:
A VERY sharp trouser suit - I've looked everywhere and can see only "work-type" - I'm looking for something maybe kimono jacket style?

Jumpsuits - best I've seen so far are some by Phase Eight - anything bandeau/low-cut/revealing is a no-no...

Any other ideas, links etc VERY gratefully accepted - budget is up to £150.
She is a size 12-14, hourglass shape. And gorgeous...

You only need a couple of outfits for uni, so long as you make friends the same size as you. If she is sorted for the first one, she'll know what she wants by the second one.

What about going to John Lewis of similar for a free appointment with a personal shopper? This worked brilliantly for my very similar dd.
Very helpful and no pressure!

I assume she's going to Oxford or Cambridge from the sound of the dinners. Why not take her/tell her to go to one of their department stores and ask for a personal shopper? She won't be the first in that situation.

Cross-post!

Also second what others are saying about make sure she knows which cutlery etc, which side is her bread. I also use debretts if I'm not sure about a dress code. I'm sure she will and will have a lovely lovely time but I think it can be a bit odd (I embraced every weird black tie event offer that came my way!) Cheap theatre tickets (£5-£10) were another boon. Hope she has a fantastic time :)

As others have said, will she not be wearing a gown over it all for all formal dinners? If so, frankly all that matters is that it's warm, machine washable and moderately smart. I had a belted jacket and knee-length dress combo to go to Cambridge and that saw me through many a dinner.

Many people I knew at Cambridge had learned which cutlery to use from Titanic.

Isn't cutlery just outside in? And wait for people around you to start their bread or pick a poshish person and copy them.

I went to a uni like this and then had a spell going along to formal dinners as wife of a lecturer. I'm not a dress person either. Jumpsuits are a great idea. Nice silk blouse and tight trousers (I had a velvet pair and a satin pair) with heels also works or suit - especially with tuxedo or satin detailing worn with a cami. But I was a post grad and didn't really care if I looked like the other women. You may want to shop a bit pick out a couple of things buy one with the plan to wear it for going up dinner, get feedback and if all ok, buy and send number 2. She will also need fancy dress for bops.

The multi way jumpsuit looks lovely, very versatile.

Black jumpsuit, lots of bling.

I have just remembered House of Fraser used to have people trained to help people shop, or perhaps go to a large John Lewis

Your bread is to your left, your glasses are to your right.

Because it assumes everyone is right-handed.

Leather trousers and a special top? I'm not usually a fan of leather clothes but on a pretty young thing, maybe.
Maybe put some money aside and she can decide when she knows what others will be wearing. She can then buy once she's got an idea of any unspoken dress codes.
Would she cope with a LBD?

Whistles is brilliant for smart jumpsuits. I wore one of their to a black tie bwedding and felt fabulous.
www.whistles.com/women/sale/limited/embroidery-cutwork-jumpsuit-24070.html?dwvar_embroidery-cutwork-jumpsuit-24070_color=Black#start=1
Something like this? I would consider getting it taken in so that it fits her like a glove and she will be totally comfortable in it.

I agree that it's a fantastic thing for you to help her with and will take the drama out of college functions for her.

Aw, botemp, what a beautiful thing for your mother to do.

Unless she likes the tux look, I think it is going to stand out and be very obviously different. If it is Oxbridge, most of it is formal but not black tie, so this would be ott. Balls are black tie formal. Most of the rest is more negotiable. She just needs to look like any night out, not prom level formality for most of it. The balls are a step up in formality. So trousers and a nice top would generally be good enough if you want to be mainstream. You will find a whole bunch of people who are "alternative" and wear e.g. converse with a sparkly skirt, all sorts of things really. A surprisingly large range of things are socially acceptable. Also most people are working off a student budget so can't do a ballgown a week. I'd encourage her to be confident in herself and her style and wear whatever the 'smart' version is. I think she will find uni a more liberal environment than the overwhelming normative social enforcement of secondary school. I hope she finds it massively liberating.

If it's Oxford there are some great charity and second hand shops, they tend to hide away the formal wear until Xmas and just before the May ball.

Oh and no one has mentioned this but have a look at shalwar / sari shops, lots online and bridge the gap between trousers and dresses.

www.diyaonline.com/ladies-wear/suits

Seriously, wait until she is there. Or just get black trousers and a nice top to get started with.

Some of the suggestions here would be completely OTT for a Oxbridge formal dinner. As Starface says, it's not a ball.

@sashh There are some beautiful outfits on the website. I have bookmarked it just in case I go somewhere fabulous (or get married again !!!) Thank you

There will be loads of young women at her uni who don't do dresses. How important is it that she goes? You say she didn't do proms. I have never been to a ball in my life, didn't go to my graduation, never worn a gown, still qualified with a degree.

According to DH, so info a bit out of date:

Formal hall happens several times a week. Not mandatory to go - DH looked shocked and said 'but it costs money to go!' - about a fiver and you probably have to bring your own bottle of wine.

You have to wear your gown and dress code will then vary according to what your college is like his was not v smart, I've been to an alumni dinner and wore something I'd wear to work. Definitely not black tie, suits for men, level of smartness for women will vary.

He thinks he went about twice a term - usually for birthdays or if you are a member of a society they might all book to go. It's sounds a bit like a weird alternative to booking a restaurant.

I think it would hugely help if she has something to get her started, people are right she may change her mind or want to shop with her friends but she will need something for the first dinner. On that basis I wouldn't spend a fortune. I really like the phase 8 jumpsuit linked above, but I do find jumpsuits are one of the hardest things to get right in terms of fit. So I'd look for a tuxedo, it doesn't need to be outstandingly made because it won't be worn day in day out. I wouldn't go for the man's tuxedo because I think that's making a real statement (which she might not be comfortable with) and generally it only works if you're super skinny.
I like this misguided tux, it's red so a bit different, you could probably squeeze a couple of tops into that budget too. The suggestion to go to indian shops is excellent BTW you could go with a heavily detailed top minus the jacket for a whole other look. (Sorry I don't get links!!!)

www.missguided.co.uk/red-tailored-button-blazer-10054463?istCompanyId=dd1d2f6c-ac6e-490e-a0ff-19cccd3bab7d&istItemId=xlaiqqilap&istBid=tzim&utm_id=402_841050_203194760867_m&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsN-fzbr51QIVQ58bCh05gASvEAQYBiABEgJq4PD_BwE

How about a really good capsule wardrobe for formal events? Think quality shell tops with black tux trousers or maxi length skirt and some great jewellery - I've just watched Breakfast at Tiffanys and love the classic neutral styling - on a youngster it could look stunning and has flexibility.