Soon to be Uni Daughter - won't wear any dresses! Ideas Needed!

[GrimDamnFanjo]

Lovely DD doesn't do dresses - it is years since she last wore one, fair enough.
She is going to a big University in a month and she will be invited to formal dinners. I don't want her to miss out as she has nothing to wear, or feel under-dressed and uncomfortable [she refused to go to any Proms] so I'm looking for alternatives that may interest her so if she does decide to accept an invite she won't look out of place amongst all the cocktail dresses.
These are my ideas so far:
A VERY sharp trouser suit - I've looked everywhere and can see only "work-type" - I'm looking for something maybe kimono jacket style?

Jumpsuits - best I've seen so far are some by Phase Eight - anything bandeau/low-cut/revealing is a no-no...

Any other ideas, links etc VERY gratefully accepted - budget is up to £150.
She is a size 12-14, hourglass shape. And gorgeous...

Xposted there, in that case I suggest a tuxedo jacket (or suit) or jumpsuit with tuxedo details. I saw one somewhere just can't remember where now but there should be more coming in as it's a bit of a minor trend for a/w, especially mixed with velvet and in colours like navy and dark green.

It's not weird that you're doing it as she's asked you for help!

How about this? Actually Debenhams has quite a few jumpsuits that could work at a formal do

www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_61252+274256_-1

I think they do need a bit of guidance if they ask for it. But I'm sure she will get plenty from her fellow students. They'll probably have more idea than her Mum. I'd be completely out of touch with what students wear these days to balls. But it's usually long dresses.

And this is a US site but they ship to the UK: www.littleblacktux.com/

PS - I still like to go shopping with my mum - she knows what suits me best and will always be honest with me! I can "choose" my own clothes sure, but sometimes she's got ideas I don't have, or the extra years of experience in going to events etc.

@viviennemary when dresses are out then it can be a bit difficult!
@Temporaryanonymity I had the same experience - in my family no-one had been to school past 16 let alone to a university!
@botemp - I'm actually writing something similar - notes in a notebook - all the advice I'd like to offer but wouldn't IRL!

Thanks everyone - you've helped to avoid the "wander round the shops without a clue" scenario I want to avoid :)

OP does she do heels? I think many outfits can be dressed up with a fierce pair of heels.

We need more info on what she is comfortable in and her shape. I'm thinking culottes with a boxy/ strappy top and heels. If she doesn't like dresses this is a fab alternative. She can show a bit of leg but not too much.

My friend had a tailor make her up a dinner shirt type thing but it was backless. It was kind of halter neck but she wore a bow tie and dress pants with it . Terrible description but looked awesome.

What does she wear?

A really smart shirt dress worn over leggings might suit.

What about a man's dinner suit? If you can get an old one with tails it could look stunning.

It really depends on how formal the occasion will be and if there is a dress code. And how strictly the dress code is enforced.

I remembered it was the Mango outlet where I saw the tuxedo jumpsuit but appears to be sold out now. They do have this one which is sort of a jumpsuit/dress combo (it looks better than it sounds):

www.mangooutlet.com/gb/women/jumpsuits-long/layer-jumpsuit_71020013.html?c=99&n=1&s=prendas.familia;34

Also can't link to it on Zara due to regional settings, they have a Kimono jumpsuit on there that may work too.

A lot of the problem with dresses is the need to wear tights and dainty shoes too. Asos have nice jumpsuits, could have a cami under the more plunging ones. Also choose some shoes and say a necklace so she has a total outfit ready to go.

Ahh OP you're doing a really nice thing trying to help! 12 years ago I was like your daughter. Hadn't worn a dress since I was about six when I went off to uni.

However when I got there I made lots of new friends and my horizons were rapidly widened. I "did" lots of things I hadn't done before (sushi, clubbing, sex that wasn't cut short by the jangle of by boyfriend's parents keys in the front door..)
I changed my mind about the dresses too, but was a bit too shy to ask my brand new friends to help me find one for our first formal dance in October. I was really lucky that my mum wasn't too far away so we could have a Saturday of dress shopping!

What I'm saying is your daughter might change her mind once she gets there, so keep options open. I would definitely go for jumpsuits PP have mentioned and Zara can have some great finds. A skirt and top might also be less intimidating. I'd recommend shopping somewhere that caters for both styles and that way if she likes the jumpsuit and wants to branch out into dresses then she has an idea of where to start.

Once I realised that dresses involved only one item of laundry rather than two, I was converted and wore them all the time

Maybe a LBD? Then a jacket and pair of heels to match.

is there anything at COS that seems to have some really nice items that arent't girly

most shops have pretty plain kimono jackets atm too, I got one from ASOS and think I saw some at Zara

I really wish my mum had done this, OP. My parents are lovely but I was the first person in the family to go to (a stuffy, posh) uni and I didn't have a clue. It was totrture for months, I felt completely wrong footed from not knowing which cutlery to use to not understanding what different dress codes meant. I was far too embarrassed to ask my new friends and pre-internet couldn't ask anywhere else either. I developed a lot of 'migraines' to avoid situations where I was completely out of my depth and consequently missed a lot of opportunities. Networking still fills me with dread even though I know what I'm doing now. You sound lovely to be thinking ahead like this.

Cos have some fab trousers, but she would probably need to try them on to check where the waist falls. Trying to look for jackets but their website is playing up.

& other stories have some more nice trousers and this blazer looks good.

What does she normally wear? A lot of girls who won't wear dresses probably wouldn't contemplate a jumpsuit either, I don't think.

Really slim black trousers (almost the same as skinny jeans but in slightly different fabric - try Gap bi-stretch), and a sharp black jacket (tail coat is actually a great idea, if you can find one that will fit her), then either a plain shirt in colour of choice (maybe a ribbon or even bow tie with it, if it appeals) or one with a cute Peter Pan collar.

Have a look at androgynous outfits on Pinterest - Emma Watson, for example, has worn some amazing trouser suits.

Wow what a strange thing to worry about. I guess she will chat to her new friends and work out something?

If she's going to Oxbridge, I'd suggest wait until she's there, made some friends and they have all decided what they are wearing together and if someone else isn't wearing dresses

I remember wearing something that was fine in my home town but definitely not the look at my university function. I wished I could have died.

I also agree about dresses - one item of clothing, not 2, don't need to think about matching or the rest of the outfit and none of mine need ironing. I am not in anyway girly, usually not seen in makeup but a total dress convert.

The thing is by not wearing a dress she will stand out more, it's almost making someone who is unconfident about clothes look like they are making a bold style statement in a tux etc. A not-too-attention-seeking dress say might be a better way to go if she doesn't want to stick out.

Some girls choose not to wear dresses for other reasons than confidence, though.

Will she have to wear a gown at these formals?

Because if so, she just needs a black dress to wear underneath, but actually it will mostly be covered up by the gown anyway.

What shape is she?

I'm curvy/hourglassy and have this.

It's flattering and looks expensive and smart. It's also in the sale 👍🏼