45, going on holiday in 2 weeks and feel miserable about appearance

[SirRaymondClench]

I'm going on a beach holiday to Ibiza in 2 weeks and feel utterly miserable about my appearance.
I seem to have hair everywhere I shouldn't (face, chin, neck, nipples) and look blotchy, red and bloated.
I should have lost weight for the holiday (but didn't, just stuffed sweet crap into my mouth instead) I'm about 2 stone overweight and don't fit into my jeans.
My legs are covered in broken thread veins and I have the start of a beautiful varicose vein on my leg.
My hair is going grey and even the day after it has been coloured at the hairdressers I can see the grey beaming through.
My face is lined, creviced and wrinkled.

Basically I feel like Mother Nature is twatting me with a mallet on every front and I'm dreading sitting on the beach feeling frumpy and sad while all around me the youthful parade around in their effortless skinniness and hairfree glory.

I can't seem to see the wood for the trees nor where to start, it feels like every effort I make in my appearance just isn't enough.

I'm sorry for the essay and the protracted moan but I needed to say this to someone and guess what? No friends either and DH doesn't get it.

Yes I am probably depressed.

That aside, any tips to feel better and less old about myself?

Have a hug. I feel your pain. You probably look much better than you describe as you know all of your 'bad bits' but other people won't inspect you so thoroughly!!
Can you afford some beauty salon treatments to make you feel better? Waxing, a pedicure, eyebrows maybe?

Do your roots next week.
Get a wax (and a lumea for small areas)
Stop eating refined sugar and stuff yourself on protein and veg
Get some new make up and jeans!
You have 2 weeks - you can easily lose 4 -5 kilos in this time.

Two weeks?

Drink lots of water and cut carbs for the next two weeks; it will make a difference to your skin and feeling bloated.

Grab your weapon of choice (tweezer, razor, salon) and defuzz. I'm naturally a gorilla but it's easy to fix.

Get your nails done, early nights and look after your skin for the next two weeks. Hit the beauty counters and ask for some serum samples if you don't have any.

Sweat every day between now and then (in the exercise and not no aircon sense)

You will feel a lot better!

47 and similar here - minus the varicose but plus roseacea

Hair tint day before you go. Root powder for the hair roots. Strategically placed sunglasses good too.
Get your eyebrows done properly, including tint - it really lifts your face. No slugs, just natural look
Agree with the no carb, no booze, tons of water and sleep and mainly the sweating in between. Forget the weightloss, at 45 its not going to drop off like that but make your goal being more toned and energised and you may find you feel and look in better shape.

Trust me, you won't be the only one feeling like that. You will be the only one that notices all the things you hate about yourself though.Everyone else is too busy worrying about their own things they hate about themselves.

Even young skinny attractive women have things that they hate about themselves believe me.

Have a brilliant holiday and relax!

And if you're a fake tab person a spray before you go might give you a boost!

Agree with what the others have said. Also, remember that everyone on the beach has their insecurities, but you're all there to relax and enjoy time away from work and routine with your families and friends. No one else will be staring at you or judging your appearance so don't subject yourself to that either.

As other posters have suggested, get into a healthy living regime for these next two weeks, and buy some new clothes that do fit.

Also buy some of the L'Oréal root touch-up spray to take on holiday with you.

Get some good books or magazines to read on the beach or download some good podcasts to listen to.

Oh you poor love. But we all feel like this (mostly) when going on hols.

That's because we think everyone else always looks better than ourselves.

I have similar issues to yourself OP. But I pluck, shave and so on.

I also buy some (cheapo) floaty things to wear that I feel really COMFORTABLE and good in. Best investment ever. Do not try to squeeze into a small size, but go up a size if necessary. The comfort gives you confidence!

Buy a highlighting powder and a subtle bronzer. Make up will just slide off your face in the heat anyway. If you can stretch to it get dermablend to cover the veins. I have spider veins all over my ankles, but this stuff is really good. Make sure it matches your skin colour on your legs.

Get some trashy bold statement jewellery to focus attention on that. Bold colours, think turquoise, yellow, red and all the rest of it. It is Summer!

Nice colourful and comfy sandals and a good bag and you are away!

Just do it and you will really enjoy your holiday.

As pps have said, most people are far too busy looking at themselves to care about you. That is the reality.

I'm 42, overweight and have a bit of a tummy, but I wore a bikini on holiday this year for the first time ever.

No one seemed to notice and I felt great!

If you wear things that suit you, I think you will feel much better once you are there.

Highlights and haircut
Exfoliate every day until you go
Pedicure and manicure
Fake tan
Nice cover ups and bikini/costume
Eat no carbs after midday. Drink lots of water/herbal tea, cut out crisps/chocolate/processed crap.
Power walk every day till you go.

And finally don't worry.

Some great advice here. When I feel down about how I look I exfoliate, use body lotion like crazy. Paint nails. Walk tall and fake feeling good. When I am down my posture goes out of the window. I make a concious effort to stand straighter - it makes a big difference psychologically. My resting face is a bitchy one and gets worse if I am a bit bleurg and I consciously try to look happier (without looking dopey). I would also walk 10k steps (more if possible) for next couple of weeks, minimal carbs. And make plans for when you get back - use the shit way you are feeling to get in shape when you get back, aim never to feel this bad again. Commit to losing 2 pounds a month and by next summer you will be 24 pounds lighter - very doable.)

In January I was 12 stone 9. I felt old, flabby and was convinced that it was just natural ageing that was not preventable. But I decided to try and do something about it by taking the long term view and told myself I would be healthier and lighter by the same time in 2018. I knew I could not diet, I just wanted to change my habits so I walk everywhere (4-8 miles a day) and eat well but healthily - with the occasional treat. Still drink wine. I have lost 22 pounds since then - it has come off slowly but I look better than I have done for years. Still have about 16 pounds left to lose but I am in no rush. I feel younger, more positive and best of all, fitter. Ageing is inevitable but you can age well if you do all the right things. But change needs to come from the head - and then everything flows from that. Short term fixes tend to be short lived - commit to changing permanently by making tweaks and it is less daunting.

Well done on your weight loss, Timefortea99.

Thanks. It was time to change - long overdue.

I'm not going on holiday this year but we went to Tenerfife last Oct and yes I'm 51, bit saggy, bloaty tummy (IBS)

So - alongside the excellant advice above:

Get a good bikini/swimsuit (I bought a cheapie supermarket one . Mistake. Thought I was saving money but a waster of £10. No support, pain in the bum to do the faffy ties. Major risk of underboob and escape). You don't need loads - one to swim in, one to ponce about in, one to subathe where you can shift the straps to avoid tanlines. They wash/dry quick.

A cover up / sarong

Fake tan- yes. It'll give you confidence and hide the veins

Body scrub like your life depends on it and moisturise. Spray or dry oil is quicker.

Get your hair dyed just before you go, protect it in the sun.

Wax a couple of days before you go, give your skin a chance to settle.

Loads of water / water and lemon

Buy something nice in Duty Free - give yourself something to look forward to , treat yourself.

Sunglasses - yes.

Magazines

And believe - no-one is really looking , they'll be more worried about their own appearance. And if they do look , so what? You're not going to see them again.

Enjoy.

And why not buy an intensive treatment for your face?
Something you can use for the two weeks , maybe an Elemis kit (QVC are good but their delivery is up to 7 days, usually less)
or Aldi are selling their Caviar Range on Thursday 3rd (I haven't tried it) the 7 Day Intensive Course might help.
Or the M&S Sleep Cream (its lovely)

Fake tan. That'll cover the veins and make them less obvious.
A good holdy-inny costume.
Eyebrow shape and tiny, makes such a difference and will still make your face look good when you're on the beach.
Remember that everyone has insecurities and don't compare yourself to anyone else!

You are Worth more than your looks.

And my youth was about starving myself, feeling like a but of dog dirt, and fighting my forest of body hair. So maybe not as straight forward as it looks for everyone.

46 and mother nature hates me. .
Paid £250 for some peachy coloured prescription sun glasses and feel great in them!!
Even wore a swimsuit on holiday last month and dd said I looked lovely!!

You won't care once you're drifting off on your sun bed in a mid afternoon siesta.

But, if you can spring to one decent Freya bikini you'll look more together. Next have some superb loose linen dresses at £24.

Eyebrows, toenails, Barnet and a decent mascara and bronzer.

Sorted!

Great advice from everyone OP. A good fake tan that is fool proof and you can build up is the clarins drops. They go in your normal moisturiser for face and body.

A good root cover up is the L'Oréal one, you spray it in.

Medic-8 do some really good facial products with that will make a difference in a couple of weeks.

Also leg make up on top of the fake tan will blur those blemishes and veins. Or the lovely nuxe body oil with the sparkles in. Perfect over a tan and smells divine.

Have a lovely holiday!

SirRaymond, I am just back from Mallorca (yesterday - sigh), I am 51, I've had 4 DCs, my body while healthy and strong is definitely lived in

The most lovely and reassuring thing about the last couple of weeks in the heat have been seeing all the people in all shapes and sizes at the beach. Men and women, young and old, slim and overweight, toned and wobbly, ALL as covered or not as they pleased.
Plenty of women in their 70s in two piece swim wear, plenty of tanned rotund bellies, plenty of gorgeous lithe young things, skin tanned and pale and burnt to varying degrees , modest swim wear, tiny bikinis, top-less, buff young guys all ripped and well looked after beer guts tanned on top and pale underneath and everybody appeared to have a good time.
We were on public beaches, plenty of Spanish holiday makers and my impression was that the Brits were the most hung-up about their bodies (as evidenced by contortions made to change wet swim wear) whereas the Spanish families seemed to give far less of a damn.

By all means follow some or all of the advice on this thread (I am far too lazy for most of it, I shaved my legs and my bikini line and that's enough grooming for me), but do go and enjoy yourself. Your body must have served you well for 45 years - have a great holiday

I love your attitude Pacific! Brilliant advice.

Flowing linen ?
www.lagenlookclothinguk.co.uk/

with ,as suggested up thread ,statement jewellery .

Well said Pacific.

Pacific is right. Nobody abroad cares as much as we do, they just accept themselves, wear what they want and get on with it and enjoy living. It's really hard for us to do that, our national psyche doesn't easily allow - but it's totally liberating when you grasp it. I'm not there yet, but I'm not where I was. He kind to yourself, and maybe spend a few hours the first day people watching - you'll see that it's true, and it might help you relax and enjoy the rest of your holiday. By the way, I'm ultra hairy, in all the places nobody would want to be hairy. I do what I can with it (which isn't much), and just pretend the rest isn't there. It mostly works.