Help me look better!

[CuntyKitchen]

I'm 46, size 16, 5'4". When I look in the mirror I see a tired saggy frump. None of my clothes seem to look right.

I have a good haircut and decent colour. Good brows. I like my face, apart from it being old and fat and tired.

I think I'd like to look like this woman. I've lost confidence somewhere along the line, and don't feel I can cope with being 'individual'. I'm not ready to go the full Allsopp. Where do I get clothes like this where the quality is good and they are cut to fit a porker?

My legs in particular are problematic, they are chubby and short and I don't like to show my calves unless I'm in thick tights. Definitely nothing above the knee. I have an overhang, so all tops need to come to the bottom of my fly, no shorter.

All suggestions welcome.

No Capes!

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I'll go and eat worms...

I'm not ready to go the full Allsopp.

I never will be ready for that look!

You haven't mentioned your budget so I'm going to suggest Uniqlo. Lots of reasonably priced and good quality items that could definitely be worn by the woman in your photos.

Hush? If your budget suits, that is. Quality can be hit and miss so watch out.

Or Gap; they are good for sharp but semi-casual looks.

To be honest, and I might get shot down for this, if you are feeling frumpy do you want to do something about the 'porker' factor? I say this with kindness and because I've been in your position. I felt like SHIT. I was fat and tired. I've lost over two stone and feel a million times better. My clothes look so different. I know that's not the question you're posing here, but it could possibly be part of your answer.

That look shouldn't be too hard to pull off. For that style if trouser I would try on Gap bi stretch, my and A Modern Slim, there are a few in Banana republic that might do it and for more money J crew always have something like that. Boden too. People seem to like the Richmond style.

For shirts I would try Pepper berry. There's a lovely wrap shirt in he and make at the mo and it's cotton. And there's another company whose name I can't recall - a man's name maybe Thomas Pink - that's often recommended here.

For shoes both marks and Clarkson do a very affordable mid heel court shoe that is super comfy.

Marks and Spencer for the Modern slim not whatever auto correct did.

Ah! Replies! Thanks v much.

Yes, the pork is reducing, about 15lb lost so far, but I've stalled, which I think is where some despondency is coming from. Agree that it's much easier to look good when you're not fat.

Ive always been wary of Uniqlo because of their sizing (S, M, L etc), perhaps I just need to do a massive online order and send everything back again.

I'm not had luck with Pepperberry shirts, always too short.

I'm happy to pay decent money if quality is good. I was disappointed in a top I got from Toast though.

Any suggestions as to what other styles might work? I'd like to look artistic but perhaps stop short of bohemian, definitely couldn't pull of the Gudrun Sjoden look. Maybe more skirts?

The wrap shirt is in h and m. Bloody autocorrect.

Good suggestions for trousers so far. If you want to like that lady and not tuck your shirt in you need to go for something softer but not far from classic. A silk shirt should do it.

I, a 14 and about 5'7", I just can't wear skirts. They seem to emphasise my wobbly middle and draw attention to the waist area which I usually hide with tighter trousers and a looser top, or dresses. Skirts seem to need a more fitted top 😢

How about this for a similar but more tummy friendly look.

Yes, I'm thinking I should try the tucking in thing, I never do that as I'm always trying to cover my tum, but perhaps with a soft silky shirt it's doable? The half in half out look seems to be quite the thing.

Is this the wrap shirt you mean, margarita? I think I might feel a bit Crouching Tiger.

Cake, I think skirts are really tricky. Too tight and they make a bowling ball out of the overhang, too loose and they tent out. I can definitely get away with shorter tops with a skirt though. At least I think I can, I haven't worn one in about 9 years.

That Jigsaw outfit is nice, sadly the top isn't available in my size, but it offers something betwixt the shirt and the tunic, good call. Will look for something similar.

No it's not that one. Will link when I can

For the artistic thing I'd look at Cos - which fans say looks much better on than on the hanger

Anthropologie for silky shirts if you like artistic? Try topshop Lucas jeans if you don't like your calves in skinnies, they are straight leg and lovely and Topshop do a 30" leg and go up to size 16.

m2.hm.com/m/en_gb/productpage.0545106001.html#Blue/White/Striped

On phone so can't do proper link. It's sold out in your size online but there are stacks in my local store.

I have relatively short legs with a big bum and calves. The most flattering trousers I've found are from Whistles, they are generously cut and make my legs look lovely and slim. I wear them with a tucked in blue cotton shirt also from Whistles.

I got my trousers last year but these look identical:

www.whistles.com/women/clothing/trousers/sadie-slim-leg-trouser-23624.html

I think this link may have more sizes...

www.whistles.com/women/clothing/trousers/sadie-slim-leg-trouser-24171.html

Long thin slimy ones, short fat juicy ones, itsy-bitsy fuzzy-wuzzy worms!

On a more serious note, I really like dorothy perkins, some nice semi-smart stuff, that fits me well (hourglass 12-14).

Thanks for the suggestions! I like Whistles clothes but have never bought any. Will have a look in the sale.

I LOVE Cos, but it doesn't love me I'm afraid, too short and plump. I'm just not Teutonic architect enough.

Will look at everything else, thanks so much!

On the point of Uniqlo, I buy quite a bit from them and find the sizing to be pretty generous. I'm a fairly standard high street size 8 and always get XS from Uniqlo, but still find it roomy.

Just wanted to say, I don't think you look frumpy at all. In fact the opposite. I think you look great.

Bless you happy, but the very stylish lady in this pictures isn't me.

LittleWitch, that's good to know. I'm going to place a whopper order this evening. They have silky shirts so I'm hoping to try out that look without spending a fortune.

I'm a similar age to you OP. I think (and you've done this) good haircut, eyebrows and make up is a good start.

You need to work out what suits you I think - there will be a length of skirt and shape of trouser that works for you. I once read that for skirts you need to get the skirt that ends at your thinnest part. I can't wear skirts that end at or on my knee. even though I'm relatively slim, I also have short legs.

I do buy clothes from whistles. I don't always think that baggy is good. Fitted works well often ime.

I don't go for the Gudren thingie look. I think tailored works better (for me anyway). Try lots of stuff on. Do wear things you wouldn't - nothing to stop you going above the knee!

Also, high heels (for work) are more flattering than flat shoes I think. (Midi skirts? Flattering I think, but wear with higher heels).

I follow a lot of blogs and spend more than I should on fashion.

(and, I can see you are doing this, of course, toned and slim easier to look pulled together, but just experiment!).