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Original poster

Husband bought me a really awful but expensive bag for my birthday, what shall I do?

96 replies

feesh · 12/02/2017 10:23

I don't want to sound ungrateful, and I don't know why he's done it, as I am definitely not a bag person (I usually wear a satchel from Jones the Bootmaker!) but he's bought me this probably hideously expensive Burberry bag and matching purse for my birthday. We live overseas so I don't know if I can exchange it or not, but in any case I'm really not a fan of Burberry at the best of times. It's this one (it's the visible Burberry check which I object to!) uk.burberry.com/buckle-detail-leatherhouse-check-crossbody-bag-p40460471

And there's a matching purse as well, which I am a bit gutted about, as I already have an absolutely gorgeous soft electric pink Aspinal one which I love and treated myself to last year.

I think he has tried, bless him even though he only had to go downstairs from his office to buy it as it's cross body (which is the only sort of bag I will carry) and he has gone for pink as he knows I love my pink purse, although he's gone for dusky pink which I really hate!

I feel REALLY awful but honestly I will never use it and the dusky pink doesn't work with my usual colours (I'm quite a preppy navy blue jeans and tshirt type of person). Shall I fess up and ask if I can change it or not?

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 12/02/2017 11:21

I like it in the black.

DH bought me a Mulberry for Christmas, he'd really thought it through and got nearly all the boxes ticked, but I couldn't sling it over my shoulder with a coat on.

It was £600 so I had to take it back and he would much prefer I loved it rather than used it because I didn't want to say anything.

JulesJules · 12/02/2017 11:22

I've had a look at the other bags Hmm

This is the only one halfway to being OK imho

RedSauce · 12/02/2017 11:22

I'm with Wolpertinger, I'd much rather spend 2000 quid on a crazy, colourful snake skin ostrich ruffle thing than 650 on an offensively boring plain baby-pink leather strap bag that looks like I could have bought it for £20 from topshop.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/02/2017 11:22

Oh look, I think you absolutely have to tell him, it's so much money! it is unutterably horrible from my point of view as well, and if my DH ever bought me one (he wouldn't even dream of spending that much on a handbag but anyway) I'd have to tell him as well.

Just say you loved the thought and the idea, but sadly it's really not your style and you'd love to go out with him to get one that is (I don't know if he got it from a Burberry shop, if so, it might be harder to find one that you do like)

Floggingmolly · 12/02/2017 11:24

What was he thinking? Hmm. You have to tell him, I wouldn't use that bag if it cost a tenner in Primark; it would burn my hide to think it cost £650.
Bags are so personal, I wonder why he thought he knew your taste?

Shukinskaya · 12/02/2017 11:27

I thought it was going to be hideous but actually q like it. Print on sides v random though.

I think as pps have said your best bet is to say colour wise it's not compatible with twin toddlers and as it was so expensive you'd like to use everyday...

Rufus27 · 12/02/2017 11:27

Could you tell a white lie and say you like it, but know that colour would be 'so hard to keep clean, so any chance you could swap it to black?'.

InTheDessert · 12/02/2017 11:29

Fresh I think your over the boarder from me. I hope you have a better returns policy than us. We are on 3 days for refund..... Please move fast if you live where I think you do.
Happy Birthday Flowers

InTheDessert · 12/02/2017 11:30

Feesh, sorry, autocorrect doesn't know better.

EweAreHere · 12/02/2017 11:30

You just need to tell him as nicely as possible. It's too much money wasted if you don't.

theclick · 12/02/2017 11:31

Aww bless him. He tried. I've got to say it's not awful at all. Only thing that ruins it for me is the check on the sides. Can't believe it is £650!!

I would confess, return it, and go shopping for an one together, lots of nice ones you can get at that price from a brand like Givenchy, or even YSL - a mini tote from YSL would be stunning!!

TinfoilHattie · 12/02/2017 11:31

It would be lovely if it weren't for the check panel. Definitely tell him and ask if you can swap it for something you will actually use.

eternalopt · 12/02/2017 11:35

Not to my taste at all but I almost ended up with one by mistake when I clicked on the link!! The Apple Pay button is terrifying. Must have pressed it by mistake and straight away it had all the details I need to buy it if I just hovered over the home button to give my fingerprint!! Very carefully pressed cancel and backed away.

My husband made a similar error in radley once. I feigned joy for 3 days after Christmas and then confessed. Felt bad as he'd tried really hard, but I hate wasting money and I was never going to use it.

Floggingmolly · 12/02/2017 11:37

That was a close one, eternal. Shock. maybe that's what happened to op's DH?

FatCatFaces · 12/02/2017 11:39

Oh God, are the you in the Middle East? The land no returns? If so, act immediately fast! I hate shopping here.

FatCatFaces · 12/02/2017 11:40

*are you in

See, I'm in a flap now, thinking about you being stuck forever with the bag you don't want...

Bensyster · 12/02/2017 12:52

You have to tell him - Burberry check ruins it. I'm not a fan of the overly obvious designer bag thing.

Original poster
feesh · 12/02/2017 13:13

I'm in the Middle East, yes, aargh! I can't go to the shop before Tuesday either....I'm gonna go in there all guns blazing though and possibly turn the waterworks on if I have to When my Aspinal purse broke they were extremely helpful, so hopefully Burberry have a similar attitude.

Will let you know how it goes anyway. I've tried it on and it looks and feels hideous, I honestly would never use it. It's not a pastel pink as on the website - it's a kind of dirty pink, it is very dusty. I don't know what my skintone is, cool maybe(?) but I can only wear pastels if they are very icy and sharp.

Floggingmolly he does have this really weird thing where he thinks he knows my taste and bless him, he always gets it SO wrong! Like he always buys me jewellery which I never wear (I don't even wear my wedding rings most of the time - I'm a real tomboy and very unladylike). For Christmas he bought me perfume off of the 90s 😂 (issey miyake) it's so random, and he never offers up any kind of tentative 'Oh my god I went out on a limb here, I really hope you like it' like I would if I was buying something so personal, it's always done with a massive sense of achievement like he has got me the perfect present 😂 Bless him I hope he never reads this, he does try in his own special way.

I'm a real bugger to buy for though, I can't say I blame him. Who'd marry me, eh?

OP posts:
Original poster
feesh · 12/02/2017 13:15

By the way, if the shop won't take it back I am just going to suck it up and wear it. I'm not that proud or shallow and I will be hoping nobody notices the Burberry check will probably impress the locals anyway

OP posts:
neveradullmoment99 · 12/02/2017 13:47

I love that bag!!!! No help whatsoever

TwentyCups · 12/02/2017 13:51

I think you're mad - it's gorgeous and I am very very jealous. Would get plenty of wear on my shoulder but we're far too skint!
You may grow to love it!

neveradullmoment99 · 12/02/2017 13:59

I can understand why you dont like it if you kind of like slouchy hippy things. I am always at war with myself over these two styles. I love clean, polished looks and hippy looks. As I am getting older i feel the clean polished looks are for me. I didn't notice the burberry check at the side. Not too fussed about that.
If you cant return, you could flog on ebay??? I am sure you will get a fair price for it. I sold a burberry duffle coat for a relative and got a fair price for it.

StealthPolarBear · 12/02/2017 13:59

Swimming that bag is truly awful. Well done for finding it :)

Freddorika · 12/02/2017 14:01

Shame about the visible check otherwise it would have been quite nice

specialsubject · 12/02/2017 14:03

That is indeed both ugly and impractical - loads of extra weight in metal trims.and looks like it will last a few months if that.

Hope you can return it. Understand the thought if you like pink but as a grown up I'm sure he won't be offended.