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Original poster

Husband bought me a really awful but expensive bag for my birthday, what shall I do?

96 replies

feesh · 12/02/2017 10:23

I don't want to sound ungrateful, and I don't know why he's done it, as I am definitely not a bag person (I usually wear a satchel from Jones the Bootmaker!) but he's bought me this probably hideously expensive Burberry bag and matching purse for my birthday. We live overseas so I don't know if I can exchange it or not, but in any case I'm really not a fan of Burberry at the best of times. It's this one (it's the visible Burberry check which I object to!) uk.burberry.com/buckle-detail-leatherhouse-check-crossbody-bag-p40460471

And there's a matching purse as well, which I am a bit gutted about, as I already have an absolutely gorgeous soft electric pink Aspinal one which I love and treated myself to last year.

I think he has tried, bless him even though he only had to go downstairs from his office to buy it as it's cross body (which is the only sort of bag I will carry) and he has gone for pink as he knows I love my pink purse, although he's gone for dusky pink which I really hate!

I feel REALLY awful but honestly I will never use it and the dusky pink doesn't work with my usual colours (I'm quite a preppy navy blue jeans and tshirt type of person). Shall I fess up and ask if I can change it or not?

OP posts:
toptoe · 12/02/2017 10:52

If it's designer, can't you hang on to it and use it for special occasions, then resell it a few years down the line? Do they keep their value? I'd thought they would if they were still in excellent condition and no longer available - people collect these things don't they? And it is a nice one.

Cakingbad · 12/02/2017 10:55

Could you say it's lovely but the colour is impractical with kids and you worry that you will be mugged or pickpocketed as it is so obviously a designer bag. That would be a genuine concern for me as I like to walk everywhere without any hassle.

KoalaDownUnder · 12/02/2017 10:56

Swimming MY EYES

ArriettyClock1 · 12/02/2017 10:57

It's foul!

You'll have to tell him.

FedupNagging · 12/02/2017 10:58

I agree with others, it's a lot of money to lie unused so you definitely need to have a chat with your dh.

I actually really like the style but not too keen on the check fabric at the sides. There are other plain colours in the same style - eventually you can stop carting around all the toddler paraphernalia but would still probably want a crossbody bag.

There are also Burburry tote bags which could be more useful.

Or, how about going for a clutch bag to use when you go out? Some lovely colours to choose from and it's a classic style and will last forever.

Yoshimihere · 12/02/2017 11:00

I opened the link expecting to hate it but I actually like it. But I do hate the visible Burberry check and the price would bother me, regardless of affordability. Based on what you say of your style, he really has tried though.

I too would be honest. What a shame, because you'll feel bad.

(I love the sweatshirt the model is wearing!)

TeaholicsAnonymous · 12/02/2017 11:00

I vote honesty too. tell him you LOVE the idea of a bag, LOVE the thought, LOVE that he wanted to spoil you on your birthday and you're so happy that he wanted to do that and then slip it in at the end that you would prefer to choose a different one that goes better with your wardrobe.

I don't think it's awful. Just really small and a bit useless!

Original poster
feesh · 12/02/2017 11:00

Swimming haha! That's what I mean, out of ALL the shops I am going to end up with a credit note for! He works above a designer mall, i just wish he'd said 'Look I really want to get you a lovely bag for your birthday, why don't we go and choose something together?" Instead of taking a random punt! I will go into the shop and see what they say before I do anything else. It is slightly possible that I could end up with a credit note for a group of stores, not just Burberry, given the way retail businesses are run here #Hopeful

OP posts:
roundthehorn · 12/02/2017 11:02

I would pop into the store and ask their exchange/credit policy and take it from there. If you're in Asia or the Middle East I would be surprised if they would exchange, much less refund, so you may have to be prepared to suck it up. Tie a couple of scarfs around the strap, spill some coffee on it and before you know it it will be your go to bag for a night out without the babies!

Madbengalmum · 12/02/2017 11:02

I really expected it to be awful, but it certainly doesn't offend me. It is pretty innocuous really.

RedSauce · 12/02/2017 11:03

Just tell him. It's your husband, not a new boyfriend or something.

Elledouble · 12/02/2017 11:03

Could you ask him to exchange it for a different one? Maybe something like this one, although I know that's the same pink, as it's a different kind of bag you wouldn't feel you have to replace the one you have at the moment.

midcenturymodern · 12/02/2017 11:03

I would just tell him it's not to my taste and would he mind returning it. It's a lot of money for something that will take up cupboard space for a couple of decades and I think pretending you like it will just make him think you like it and set you up for a lifetime of ugly bags.

I'm not a bag person either and I wouldn't consider a bag in a colour and style that I don't like to be a particularly thoughtful gift so while I wouldn't be arsey about it I wouldn't feel bad about nicely asking for it to be exchanged for something I'd actually like.

Swimminguphill · 12/02/2017 11:06

Koala I know, it's just one of those things you can't unsee. Looks like it might attack if you turn your back.

Wolpertinger · 12/02/2017 11:06

swimming I kind of like that one Blush

At least it's all out bonkers, while the original is apologising for the Burberriness of it and ends up spoiling a nice plain bag.

Swimminguphill · 12/02/2017 11:07

feesh the black one is ok though, no? Also perhaps a trench or some other item??

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 12/02/2017 11:07

if you scroll down a bit on that page linked for the bag it does say

Complimentary Returns
Enjoy free returns on your order

so that sounds hopeful!

It's not as awful as I though it might be tbh!

Swimminguphill · 12/02/2017 11:08

wolpertinger you are a braver woman than me!

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/02/2017 11:08

It's ghastly. And leather always wears/eventually snaps when it's buckles and straps. Such a waste of money. At that price you have to tell him and get the money back. You can't waste that amount of money

MrsGsnow18 · 12/02/2017 11:09

I'm going to be quit unhelpful but once my DH bought me a Very expensive coat. I hated it, it was not a colour or even style I would choose but seeing his face when he gave it to me and knowing he went out and choose it and wanted me to have something special meant that I just couldn't say anything about it.
I actually grew to love it (not for its looks) but because it would make me smile at how he had wanted to choose it etc. Also it made me laugh sometimes just how wrong he managed to get it whilst trying so hard.
But if you don't think that you can use the bag and grow to like it for these reasons then break it to him gently as other have said. He's prob feeling quite proud of his present buying!

JulesJules · 12/02/2017 11:15

God, that ruffle bag. At least you didn't get that one OP .

I think you really have to tell him, you love the idea but want a different style and colour bag. I'm sure you will be able to exchange, but will you be able to find a Burberry one you like?

Wolpertinger · 12/02/2017 11:17

Well Swimming I wasn't going to buy it!

More, if I was a 20-something multi-millionaire trust fund rock chick, I'd love it, to go with my collection of >50 bags.

But that rock chick isn't going to buy the original pink bag and neither am I (age 40+ and could afford £650 for a special bag). I can't picture a market for it.

Except possibly confused husbands Grin

Swimminguphill · 12/02/2017 11:18

I would go with the practicality issue. I would say it's gorgeous (whilst touching it regretfully) but that it will be trashed within a week (this is actually true). The pink will look grubby after approx 30 mins contact with toddlers/playgrounds/soft play and you can't bear to ruin such a thing of beauty. However you have been looking and have found X that will fit the bill. If it is possible to keep matching purse you will do so to remind you of the thoughtfulness of the present etc etc

Swimminguphill · 12/02/2017 11:20

sorry Wolpertinger didn't mean to offend! when you said you liked it I started imagining someone much more adventurous than me style-wise Smile

Cherryskypie · 12/02/2017 11:20

At £650 you have to tell him. I'm not a fan of it either.