What is it about bags...

[ChishandFips33]

...that cause so much negative reactions??

A poster asks advice about a £20,000 kitchen

A £2,000 watch /ring
and gets great advice/support

...but ask about which designer bag to buy for £1000+ and it's a different story: ie advice to spend it on something else/give to charity

I'm not a big spender so get the 'value' perspective but why do bags cause this reaction?

That's not the point.

Say you buy a house for £400,000 and add £20,000 of new kitchen. Your works will only add value if, when you come to sell, your house sells for more than £20,000 more than an identical house in the same street that hasn't had a kitchen upgrade. It might sell faster than the house that hasn't had a kitchen upgrade but value will only have been added if the seller recoups more than his costs of kitchen installation.

There's a lot of nights in there ... where as I can pretty much guarantee that my mulberry handbag I was daft enough to buy many moons ago went out of fashion and definitely did end up in the girls dressing up box followed by the bin after an incident with a felt tip. Wish I'd bought the kitchen or even a coffee machine

Mights not nights

I've already been told off on the other thread, but I think it's that many people(me included) just don't 'get' how you can totally fall in love with a bag to the point where you'd spend such a huge amount of money on one item. (Same goes for the people who spend £££ on multiple pushchairs in the first two years of their child's life because they see them as an accessory to enjoy rather than a handy baby transporter.)

So many bags look just like ones you can buy much cheaper so the cost seems completely out of proportion with what you get.
However, I don't really give a crap what anybody else buys. I'm just trying to explain why I wouldn't personally. I daresay somebody will still come along and tell me I'm a judgy bitch for giving an opinion though.

blingy re misogyny you're so right. I bought my first designer bag around the same time my DH bought his car which cost almost 100 times more. While DH enjoyed LOTS of positive comments from his friends and colleagues and slaps on the back etc, I had more than the odd 'how could you spend so much on a bag' comment from acquaintances and friends. It did feel like DH could spend whatever he wanted and it wouldn't be deemed a waste of money but my considerably less expensive buy was seen as frippery.

I wish the naysayers would just stay off these threads, it feels almost vindictive sometimes and certainly very catty.

Gonna pile in and agree with blingy.

Also agree re point about how fashion is sourced and made.

I do think Mulberry are pushing it with their prices lately, tbh but it is all made here. So, British style, British jobs, British work conditions. I'm on board with all of that. As soon as I'm able to stop carrying a sodding rucksack/shoving purchases under a buggy, I'm heading right out to get a decent bag and I don't give a fuck if anyone has a problem with it.

No idea. I love designer bags, although I only have one. A Chanel that was my 30th birthday present and my first baby. 8 years later and I still adore it. It's a classic so one of my daughters will get it some day.

But even if I only loved it for a few years and then it dated, I wouldn't care. If you have the money I think a good bag can make you feel great and bring you joy!

And although they are defo overpriced for what they are, designer bags and by and large far far better quality and nicer than high street.

Newbrummie - some travel broadens the mind, the "beach/pool/sun lounger " type does not. (And the price of most bags isn't going to pay for a grand tour)

While you may enjoy it, and that enjoyment of your holiday mean you are happier, you don't have anything to show for it - not Like say buying a work of art or a piece of furniture, or even a grand's worth of gold bars, stuff you can "hand on" or get use of for years.

If a nice bag is a waste of money, a holiday must be put in the same category, however I've yet to see the moral outrage at the "waste" of money on any of the "short haul" threads that a bag thread gathers.

The difference I can see is that the "outraged" quite like holidays but don't like bags, and that money spent by a parent on holidays is rarely for their benefit only, usually the whole family get use of the "waste" money. Again, this comes back to it being unacceptable for woman who have children to be seen to spend significant sums just for their own pleasure. (Even if they / the family can afford it.)

So you've never as a woman been on a holiday alone ? And actually yes the sun lounger holiday can be just as broadening the point being you meet you new people, see a new environment... the trip through Naples to sorrento to the awaiting 5 star hotel, complete with pool was an eye opener.

Sorry I see you mean once people have children you think the outrageous price of the bag becomes a problem, no I'd think it was crackers if they were single too ... I've done it myself, it's like the new car isn't it, lovely whilst it has "that smell" but pretty soon it's just "the car" that did what the last car did

^IMO, once you get to the price point where a bag can be deemed
Good Enough Quality To Do It's Job For A Reasonable Length Of Time, beyond that you are paying for the name.^

^^This. And I think the same for kitchens, watches and a whole load of other stuff in addition to bags.

For most normal houses I think it is madness to spend more on a kitchen than an ikea one - the quality is pretty good really - not cheap or flimsy at all. Chances are that either the original purchaser or new property owner will want to change the kitchen after 20/30 years - you would need an expensive one to last a lot longer than that to be worth spending on it unless you have an extremely expensive or high end property.

Beyond that it just seems like spending for the sake of it. Or between some people impressed by that sort of thing, a statement about how much money they have. And a lot of people who buy expensive bags, watches, kitchens, candles or whatever else, seem to have the opinion that anything cheaper must be shit, when a lot of the time the mid price non budget option is of perfectly decent quality.

The other thread is awful people are so rude and disrespectful of others feelings. A woman wants to spend some of her savings on something for herself- wtf is the problem? She's not getting herself in debt doing it - her and her dh will not starve. I really don't understand how people think it's ok to be so judgy and downright rude!

People spend huge sums of money on things I don't understand/ don't like but you know it's their money and their choice and I wouldn't dream of slagging them off for it.

In the interests of fair disclosure I have 1 expensive Mulberry and a couple of mid priced bags (Tory Burch and McQueen), and a selection of high street bags (Jigsaw, Jaeger, Reiss, Russell and Bromley).

I would love a Gucci Disco - love the size and shape - am mulling over whether to ask for one for my birthday...

I have two Mulberry bags which I bought second hand, a Prada bag which was a present and a couple of Le Pliages. I like a nice handbag, I can afford one (within reason) and I don't feel that spending £1000 on about five bags that I use all the time in 10 years is especially excessive. It's my money, I earn it, and I can spend it how I like.

I hate this judgmental bollocks on MN about buying clothes, shoes and bags. If you want to only spend £2.50 a year in Oxfam, that's totally your business. That doesn't give you the right to be cats bum at me because I choose something different.

BarbaraofSeville does your kitchen logic apply to work surfaces? - granite for a kitchen would come in c. £4-5k is that not permitted either?

Sometimes it's good to have nice things because they are, nice! I have an expensive kitchen and trust me there is a difference between it and Ikea - the main thing is I bought within my budget so I don't see how it's hurting anyone. Similarly I paid a reasonable amount for a bespoke kitchen table - it's perfect and imo money well spent. If you don't want yo spend money on these things absolutely fine but also equally fine if others wish to. The only time when it's not fine is if it's putting them into debt / prevents essential purchases.

It is weird, isn't it? If someone starts a thread about a 400 quid leather jacket it just doesn't elicit the same scornful replies. I guess there is this perception that designer bag fans are shallow, naive or buying into hype. Why is it that people on a style and beauty section will happily understand why you want the perfect jacket or dress to wear and not the perfect bag to carry things in?

Nah NewBrummie I've never "as a woman been on holiday alone"

What the actual fuck? I've never been on holiday alone. But lots of my friends both female and male, have. And lots of my friends both female and male, have not.

What has that got to do with the cultural worth of a holiday anyway? What, because I'm with my DH and my kids, the culture just slips right over my silly head?

This conversation has gone so far off on a tangent I think I'm in outer space.

I need to summarise for my own sanity;

• you're so shallow for buying a spenny handbag. You shoulda bought a holiday instead.

• holidays don't last as long as a bag

• yeah but holidays give you culture

• not if yer on a package hol in the sun

• yeah but my package hols are better then yours cos I go on me own AS A WOMAN and look out the window on my way to the resort which I reckon you don't you bag-luvvin Luddite

I don't know about any other bag threads, but the title of the one you're referring to was provocative (you might even say goady).

The OP would have got a different reaction if she'd titled it "Designer handbag" and said something like, "I've come through a difficult period in my life and am starting a new chapter. I'd like to mark it in some way, and I've got a one-off sum of money that I'd like to spend on a special purchase." I do think the thread title was intended to provoke.

Comparisons with a new sofa/holiday/laptop are red herrings - that's what those things cost (well, not mine, but that's kind of an average price for a big-ticket item). Whereas you can get a bag that most people will perceive as a luxury bag for £130 (a tenth of the OP's £1,300 budget).

As the thread went on it became clear that this was a one-off sum for the OP (rather than loose change at the end of every month). But I think it's a pity (and a mistake) to dismiss other views as "virtue signalling". We are living in a society that is horribly polarized along the lines of rich and poor (take a look at the homelessness thread in Active Convos now), and many people are alive to that.

I buy expensive handbags. Because I can. Because I want to.

Couldn't give a flying fuck what others think. Someone will always judge you no matter what you do, so why bother getting bothered?

WHAT? WHAT??

"If you had c. £1300 to spend on a bag"

HOW IS THAT GOADY????

HOW HOW HOW???

No "most" people will not perceive a £130 bag to be a luxury bag.

SOME PEOPLE will perceive a £130 bag to be a luxury bag.

SOME PEOPLE will perceive a £13 bag to be a luxury bag.

SOME PEOPLE will perceive a £1300 to be a luxury bag.

SOME PEOPLE will perceive a £13000 to be a luxury bag.

The OP shouldn't have had to explain why she wanted that bag. She is perfectly entitled to the bag whether its a one off or she gets one every week. It also seemed that some of the unpleasantness only calmed down once she explained her back story.

And in my experience of bag threads, they are usually, if not always started by someone in an exceptional set of circumstances. I even said as much before I found out the story. People usually post to ask because it's a lot of money to them, they don't have a draw full of designer bags and don't want to make a mistake. Instead of being happy for them, or moving on if they're not, people deliberately race on to these threads to behave in a sanctimonious, judgmental and misogynistic way.

How the hell the title thread can be regarded as goady is beyond me. It is just another way of trying to defend the indefensible.

Erm, it wasn't goady at all - it was to the point and accurate but somehow open to interpretation!!

And no-one should have to justify why they are looking for something - an invitation went out to share what bag you would choose and why - not what else you'd spend the money on

...and 'designer' is worse because it misses out all the handmade/new talent that's out there!

Expensive purchases are not always extravagant in the long run. Years ago when we did not have much disposable income DH bought me a Mulberry purse for a birthday present. It seemed quite an extravagance, cost £200 if I recall correctly and, if I had posted at the time I'd have been told to spend £20 max and donate the rest.
That purse is now 15 years old and still as good as the day it was bought, in fact it probably looks better now the leather has softened a bit. Previous cheaper purses had to be replaced at least yearly as they broke, stretched, scuffed or I got bored of them so, in terms of cost-effectiveness, this one is winning.

Sorry chish

I'm hopping from thread to thread in a fit of pique!

People on this thread were calling the OP on the other thread a GF

Katherina you can get £9.50 holidays in the Sun and laptops from around £150. A sofa for far, far less than £1,300.

Again, you are putting a judgement on the OP that a handbag isn't "worthy" but a laptop/holiday/sofa is? Why is wanting to buy a nice bag a decision to vociferously criticise because of an unequal society, but wanting to spend more than strictly necessary on other luxury goods "just big ticket items - that's how much they cost?".

I dont understand the venom either.

At the current time, I'm in a position where if I wanted to I could buy a £1300 bag every month. I don't and I don't want to, but I could. If I did, it would make absolutely no difference to the life of any of the handbag deniers. Likewise if I chose to save the money or spend it on lottery tickets. Unless I'm sacrificing the bag and giving you the cash instead it doesn't affect you.

I don't drink alcohol. I can well imagine that many people on here waste spend vast sums on alcohol and feel no need to justify it. They want it, they like it, they buy it. It's exactly the same.

There's a thread on here somewhere about what you'd do if you won loads of money. Someone came on to berate the people who said they'd donate to animals charities as they should be helping people instead...

Some people just enjoy picking others apart and knocking them down a peg or two. If it's not because you buy Prada then it will be because you save cats...