Come let us celebrate the wankery that is perfume advertising.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

My current favourite. (Not really) is the new Chanel No 5 l'eau, a triumph of style over substance. Any others?

My dh used to wear L'egoiste in the 90s, then the advert came out with women shouting L'EGOISTE! Out of Windows. I don't think he's worn it since then. as its basically saying you're a big headed sod

VIP by Carolina Herrera, was it?
"Are you on the list?" Loved the perfume, gave it away after seeing the advert, how cool people get in places and other on the queue. I don't know, its silly but really irritated me.

What about the Nicole Kidman 20-minute Chanel one from a few years ago? "I'm an actress! I love to act!"

I LOVE the Marc Jacobs Bang one upthread! No doubt about the size of the cock message behind that one

But I love Lou-Lou "Oui, ces't moi?"
And Anais Anais with the "Shhhh"

Oh that Nicole Kidman Chanel one was so shit. Unbelievably ridiculous. It used to irritate me beyond all sense. All that breathlessness and sighing etc etc. It's not normal

Can't stand any of the ones with Kiera Knightly. The photo shoot and then she 'snakes' away on a motorbike. Makes me twitch.

Ah crap. Sneaks not snakes away.
Altho....

The jadore ones. Always sound like poor Charlize Theron (don't care how to spell it) has had a stroke. In fact me and the dh love to take the piss.
Stupid add. Overpriced piss.

JohnCheese yes but it's a beige motorbike which clearly makes all the difference

Nicole Kidman was a dancer who loved to dance. Does anyone remember the Tom Ford for YSL one which featured a fully nude man? The ASA banned it quick smart, and TF said perfume was designed to be worn on the skin, so why hide the skin - essentially PR rather than advertising in terms of getting media coverage.

Bet none of you are old enough to remember Jane Seymour wafting around in her Jardin de Max Factor!

One day someone will make a good perfume ad and we'll all be stunned.

oh yes. Beige bike. Makes all the difference!

Don't get me started on Julia Roberts breaking free from the "diktats", I can't remember the perfume. And the girl in Gucci Bamboo has no eyebrows! The Gucci Guilty is a classy version of a threesome and beautifully shot. Keira Knightly - ban her and her Desperate Dan jaw.

For me the winner/loser is lady million and the malevel version, "mister million"? Snap your fingers and get all this wealth and be supa cool too!

I have to say I watch them thinking they're a piss take it parody, but then, no. They're really trying to sell perfume with this full on wankery. Funny as.

I laugh out loud at Gerrard Butler in the Hugo Boss advert. He just looks like such an arse scratching tosser.

I love this old Chanel No5 ad though.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=z5MHa1CtNEI

I also think theyre all very unsexy, despite the cool locations and beautiful people. They aleays look so ... forced and sterile.

May I add the this hall of fame the Si with Cate Blanchet?

Si for this and that and her gurning along with is meant to be different passionate interpretations.
Embarrassing.

The one I like is the Prada Candy with this French actress I cannot for the life of me remember the name.

When the approach to ad campaigns was apparently "bracingly direct":

This

I liked the YSL M7 ad, I remember the uncut version appearing in The Face. Le Jardin- Jane Seymour wafting about in soft focus, I remember, I loved that perfume when I was a nipper.

The bizarre one where he isn't 'going to be who you expect me to be anymore' or some such toss & all the walls cave in. Mystifyingly shit.

The Chloe one with the stalkery older guy on the answering machine while the teenage models wafts around the flat giggling. I'd be checking the locks!

That advert for BANG...
It's meant to make you think COCK! but the bloke in it, all naked and smouldering, shiny with oil, lying on a sheet of tin foil reminds me of a strangely shaped Christmas turkey, piping hot out of the oven, ready for carving. All he needs is a couple of strategically placed stuffing balls and a chipolata to complete the image

m.youtube.com/watch?v=_nqbK6AWuu0

I quite like that Marc Jacobs advertised his perfume himself. Why pay a fucking fortune to a model when you can pose instead!

I not only remember the Jane Seymour advert for Le Jaaarddinnnn but also the French and Saunders pisstake