Post shopping trip - please shoot me

[exhaustedhome]

On my way home from a few hours at oxford street. I am desperate for new clothes and am 40 soon so would have loved a new outfit. These few hours to hit the shops were strategically planned - believe me

Literally feel like shooting myself. I used to be so good at style and clothes, and appeared put together and a bit 'on trend'

Now I have no idea what suits me. Kept catching myself in the mirror - just look like a fat frumpy mess.

Suddenly things that I thought looked good now make me look dreadful. I used to have gorgeous hair that was thick and in a sort of shaggy beachy wave style. It just looks a mess and it seems to be thinning out and lank.

Not sure what I'm posting for really, just feeling grumpy that I always assumed I'd have a fabulous time turning 40, and actually I just want to go and live in a cave.

I am 45

I find my secretto to dressing is....... dresses

Any dress + tights + boots/loafers/ heels/ankle boots= outfit

Especially love sweater dresses

I with you Baby, they are so flattering and I just love a jumper dress, I never wear trousers and have a few pairs of jeans but my legs are long and I just hate trying to find ex long leg lengths in trousers. It's not worth the hassle. Hence I do not own one single pair of trousers.

Did you go in Cos? I have a number of dresses from there. Go and try them, just grab 10 dresses even if you don't like them and think you'd never be seen dead in them.
I'm dark, I found that a pair of pearl earrings brightens my face.
Take yerself to bobby brown and ask for one of their cream sparkly eyeshadows like this one. It stays on and it's fab.
Use a drop of nuxe oil in your hair, it's really nice.

The John Lewis website has a Style Editor thingy where you put in your height, weight, preferred colours, styles and it generates loads of outfits (casual, work etc). Very good for inspiration.

I did do Cos yes - ended up looking like an androgynous person who performs laboratory tests.

I love sweater dresses too - but lately they seem to make me look dumpy.

I'm a 12 and 5'5''. Am apple shaped - stomach never been flat and then 2 massive babies put an end to that for good!

I've got lovely make up - just looks crap on me because I'm constantly tired and grey and have rosacea.

Still want to look like redknapp though.

Meant to respond to the poster who suggested it was health related. Totally agree. My diet is not great and i don't excerise . Work a 50 hour week, 2 small kids and no family around to rely on.

I sound negative I know. I real life I'm positive and (in my mind) very funny

Oh and I drink far too much. But then most people running half a hospital everyday must have to drink every night

I think maybe you are being hard on yourself. Something about the bright lights and mirrors in these shops always makes uou look and feel worse than you actually do or should.

As for your makeup, it shouldn't look crap on uou, In fact it should hide the fact you look crap, so maybe something wrong there? I look grey and knackered without my make up, but look relatively healthy with it. Maybe you are on a bit of a downer with yourself?

Size 12 five foot five is quite slim, so maybe also you are trying the wrong clothes for your body. When you say you want a new outfit, what's the outfit for? Casual? Evening out? Shopping? Visiting friends or family?

I had this feeling too, the other day.

Skin wise, I have to do a really good routine to keep on top of it, and then get hormone breakouts on my jawline.

Also my body is changing now I'm 41. Everything is slightly more saggy than it was two years ago!

What did you use to wear that made you feel good?

Bustergona, am tall too (6ft) and wear Dorothy Perkins tall skinnies, the batches change (so some are good, others not) they do free delivery and returns so I order 6 pairs and keep only 1 or 2

I need jeans for dogwalking and standing by rugby pitches in all weaters, else I'd spend my life in dresses. Love a good dress!

I was in H&M the other day with a bloke two years my junior at 39. He was desperately trying to squeeze into a size S shirt. Hmm.

Cheap stuff's the enemy. I like well cut comfy clothes, and skinny jeans!

I tried some things on in H&M in London, and all made me look like a sack of spuds. I think I have got to the point where buying slightly more high end high street, where things are better cut, and material is more substantial, means I get more flattering clothes.

Try cutting down on alcohol and drinking more water. That should improve your skin. And maybe a make-up lesson at JL or somewhere?

It does sound like you're under loads of pressure. I watched that Ambulance show recently and was appalled by how stretched the service is.

But I think very few of us can actually look like Louise Redknapp - She's probably a size 6 with a team of stylists behind her. I'm a 8-10 and would struggle with her clothes. Wear things that suit your figure. Maybe just try something a bit different - a pencil skirt always helps me feel smart & would pull in your tummy.

I went for round 2 yesterday, begged DH for another freedom pass. Equally fruitless.

So - inspiration wise. I love this post on this blog about evening tops.

Tried on whistles and other high end stuff. Everything just points to my stomach and makes me look like a bag of spuds with a draw string in the middle.

chloelovestoshop.com/2016/11/06/occasion-tops-for-the-festive-season/#more-3244

This post

exhausted have you considered getting a colour or style analysis done? One of my friends has just qualified as a Colour Me Beautiful consultant and is working her way through lots of ladies I know. I had mine done a couple of weeks ago and it has given me a real boost - I wanted to move away from wearing too much black. It would help with shopping as you will gravitate towards colours that suit you.

It sounds like some Spanx are in order then. Basically it's the alcohol you can't get away from that a podgy tummy is refined carbs and booze, not enough sleep doesn't help either. 3 litres of water a day makes a huge difference too.

Have considered colours / style etc previously - always worried I'll end up in sludge brown though.

I should cut down on the booze yes. Shame, as alcohol is the only thing I'm good at

All of those tops will highlight a stomach unless you are wafer thin. They all stop at the widest part of your body. They're also all really square so not much good unless you have no breasts either. They would look great on Boy George when he was younger.

You need something that draws a line visually at your narrowest point. Empire line tops will do that, then if they float out it's their floatiness not you that makes that happen (visually).

OR something that is shaped in a little at the waist then goes on longer than your waistline - like a shaped blouse that goes to your hips.

Something like this

or this

I agree kick. I though all those tops were really unflattering.

But they were stylish and pretty (Whiney voice)

I agree the shape of the other two are better but, dare I say it, they are frumpy to me.

On a positive note I ordered these last night. To wear with the clothes I don't own.

www.samedelman.com/en-US/Product/3009380/Sam+Edelman/_/Petty+Ankle+Bootie.aspx

All those Chloe tops are unflattering!

Nice tops kickass and I completely agree with you, you need longer tops that skim, nothing too tight or to lose. Tops which wrap over the boobs are nice but can be hard to find in trendy/up to date designs. I know wrap dresses can be frumpy,I know this but if you find a nice modern style they can really give you a shape, I tried one on and my friend was amazed that I had a waist! Lol. I'm big boobed, small bumed and hipped with no waist! Apparently I'm a goblet!

This would hide a tummy, show of a good bust, hide bingo wings and look pretty glitzy too. Ummmm....quite tempted now!

Kick where is thathe first top from please?