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Original poster

Wedding Attire Etiquette - Hat or Facinator

31 replies

twelveyeargap · 08/02/2007 14:46

Hello. My friend has received an invitation to a wedding which says "ladies head dress preferred". Friend is wondering whether a facintaor counts, but I think if they bothered to mention it, they probably want ladies to wear hats.

Any thoughts?

Incidentally, since they mentioned attire on the invite, I have also suggested to her that someone (mother of the bride perhaps) is likely to be affronted by white/ cream/ black worn at the wedding and by bare shoulders at the church and ladies removing their hats before the mother of the bride. (My mother is a bit like this).

Any other tips?

OP posts:
PeachesMcLean · 08/02/2007 21:51

Well I think you've stumped us on this. I had to google facinator to find out what one is...

magicmummy · 08/02/2007 21:55

Is there a religious reason why they would prefer the ladies to wear a headress ?
I went to a Russian Orthodox wedding once and had to wear a hat and had to have long skirt to cover legs (trousers not allowed), well they were the instructions we received anyway.

I know someone who makes beautiful facinators, can give you a website for her if you need one.

Original poster
twelveyeargap · 09/02/2007 09:09

Yeah, I thought about the religious thing after I posted this. I know the groom is Roman Catholic, but it doesn't mean the bride is. It's useful to know that you were given "guidelines" for your attire with a wedding invite, though. I was wondering if it was a bit odd!

Friend is invited as her boyfriend's guest, boyfriend is friend of the groom. Boyfriend is being useless at getting information, so that's why the confusion.

Thanks for the offer, she actually has a facinator to go with the outfits she has, but is now stumped as to whether to wear them. Actually, I'd like to look at the website anyway, what's the link?

I think get a hat to be on the safe side. Even if it's a Roman Catholic wedding, it might be a particularly old fashioned priest or congregation, so you just never know, do you?

OP posts:
Waswondering · 09/02/2007 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cloudhopper · 09/02/2007 09:20

I've never heard of any Catholic custom to need headgear, so I doubt there is a religious element.

In recent years, fewer women are wearing hats, so this might be just an attempt to make sure everyone dresses up. In which case I should think that a fascinator would be fine.

Budababe · 09/02/2007 09:32

I think if they were specifying hats they would have said so. "Head dress" to me sounds like facinators would be fine. Hate them myself though!

Original poster
twelveyeargap · 09/02/2007 10:00

I didn't know that about the queen...

Plus I see I've managed to spell Fascinator wrong loads of times. Doh.

OP posts:
Waswondering · 09/02/2007 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Waswondering · 09/02/2007 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
twelveyeargap · 09/02/2007 16:48
OP posts:
magicmummy · 09/02/2007 18:05

Twelveyeargap

website I mentioned is here

FluffyMummy123 · 09/02/2007 18:06

Message withdrawn

PeachyClair · 09/02/2007 18:07

It would depend on the fascinator I would think- some are quite bulky and would count imo

And it says head dress, not hat. If they wanted only hats, it would be less letters!

gingermonkey · 10/02/2007 17:02

I wear a hat or 'a bit of fancy' as MIL calls it to every wedding I go to. DH's family go to a lot of weddings, and they are always the smart sort so head gear on ladies is expected. Your friend will be fine with a fascinator though, they are far more popular these days and the bonus of them is that you don't have to take it off and end up with hat head hair (which is a terrible look!). It is impolite to remove your hat before the bride's mum, and recently I've noticed that most older women don't take their hats off at all during the day and the wedding breakfast, but when they get changed for the evening do take their hats off and re-jig their hair. White at a wedding is a little tacky and is generally only worn by young girls in trouser suits (which IMO never look that great), cream is fine, and so is black. Trouser suits are also a no-no if it is a smart wedding, acceptable at the dinner the evening before (if they have one) but not on the day of the wedding itself. Bare shoulders should be covered in church or registry office but a shawl would do the job. Hope that helps, I love traditional wedding etiquette and get very annoyed by people who don't follow the rules!!!!

Blackduck · 10/02/2007 17:15

so a fascinator is that thing that looks like a tiny vey feathery bird has pearched on your head??? Hum learn something new everyday. My sil was VERY put out that I didn't wear a hat to her wedding, or to my other sil's wedding - I don't do hats, and can't get one to fit anyway....

WanderingTrolley · 10/02/2007 17:27

What about this?

gingermonkey · 10/02/2007 17:36

I think that would be perfect , and the invite does state head dress!!!!!

hatwoman · 10/02/2007 17:47

didn;t camilla borrow that one off her mil?

PeachyClair · 10/02/2007 17:51

I rather like the ones on that site linked to earlier no not the NAtive American headdress lol! They're not as fluffy as some others are

hatwoman · 10/02/2007 17:53

I like piaf - I like ones that look like mini hats

gingermonkey · 10/02/2007 17:54

I agree, I'm going to see if she can make me one - I like the top hat and the lily. Might just wear them to the supermarket to try and start a new trend!

hatwoman · 10/02/2007 17:57

I didn't look at them all - definitely agree. top hat and lily are fab.

Califrau · 10/02/2007 17:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WanderingTrolley · 10/02/2007 18:07

Is this a fascinator?

Or this?

feathergirl · 13/02/2007 18:47

Hello - I think a fascinator would be a fantastic thing to wear! Those on a band won't blow off in the wind, your face isn't in the shade of a brim for photos, no banging brims kissing on a line up, comfortable to wear, and best of all... NO HAT HAIR!!! - I should confess you've been discussing my fascinators, therefore my advice could be a little biased, although valid non the less! Hope you get sorted.