I have money to spend on myself.

[user1474792594]

I am in a fortunate position of having what is to me a lot of money to spend on myself.

I have 3k set aside.

I need make up and clothes. I am 48 and size 16 and 5ft3. My belly is huge - I am very definitely an apple. My feet are broad and a bit flat.

Can you help?

So far I know I want a down arse covering coat for the winter and a pair of Chelsea boots / ankle boots and a pair of long boots.

Other than that, I have no clue.

Help me!

I bought a proper nomination charm for the fake nomination bracelet the kids bought me for Christmas it cost £25!

You sound absolutely lovely.
A few things I've learnt along the way about shopping, don't ever feel pressured to buy anything, say you need to have a think about it before you buy, or you've run out of time just now and have to meet a friend - whatever it takes to not feel pressured to buy something you're not sure about! You may meet some shop assistants who aren't your cup of tea also, don't take it personally! You totally and utterly deserve to make yourself feel happy. Good for you for saving and still providing for your kids! As for the dentist, they have seen it all, if he doesn't treat you with kindness and patience find another one, usually the first consultation is an examination and they'll come up with a treatment plan for you after that so you don't have to agree to go with the first dentist you see! You'll be fine

I like tunic dresses. I suit tunic dresses. I had three from new look years ago and I wore them to death with big boots and thick tights. I want tunic dresses again :)

I want one kick ass pair of jeans that actually chuffing fit me. I will sell my first born child for these (not really!)

I have converse. I like them with rolled up girlfriend jeans from per una (yes I know)

I can't do tops. They make me look fat and grumpy and just bleh. So I need nice tops.

And socks. I want proper nice socks. Really nice soft wooly ones that aren't from tesco and I shall keep them all to myself (DD that's aimed at ! She nicks my socks)

Oh. I want a pair of black brogues. Actually know I want doc martens. And might get boots from them too. Their shoes fit my frog feet.

www.drmartens.com/uk/p/womens-boots-broadway-charla

www.drmartens.com/uk/p/originals-shoes-arcadia-adrian

Those shoes / boots

Blimmin' 'eck!

Don't you dare wander into any shop and state how much you have to spend!

For a start you will not be spending it all in the same place.

And why on earth would you want one random "stylist" to have charge of your entire new image?

Honestly, honestly just take your time and you'll grow in shopping confidence and find all sorts of presently unanticipated avenues.

Congratulations on saving the money! It doesn't sound selfish at all - much deserved!

I agree with some previous posters that with that much to spend, having a style and colour consultation (and personal shopping session?) would be invaluable and would probably save money in the long run, not just for the things you're buying today but in the future. I found it confidence boosting to know what suited me.

I had my colours done by Gabi at Chromology (Chromology.co.uk) who was brilliant. She also does style consulting and personal shopping. Not sure where you are based - her studio is in Oxfordshire but will travel to do the shopping with you in department stores/outlet villages etc.

Just popping in to wish you luck and I bet there are dozens of MN'ers on here dying to take you shopping! Hope you have fun when you go and find stuff you like and that makes you feel good about yourself.

Auser .. You could be me! I love tunic dresses with thick tights and boots, I can never find tops that look his, always feel fat and frumpy and scruffy, and my favorite jeans are M&S Indigo straight jeans I'm constantly on the look out for soft lovely lovely socks that dd won't nick. And I love the Dr Marten boots ... Want!

You are all making me want to cry.

This thread - it's ace! As are MrsCB's boots! I agree with taking your time and not spending it all at once, but it does sound as if, this current amount of money set aside, you now find yourself in another 'league' as far as having money to spend on yourself goes, so you can consider it as a new hobby!

DD wanted to come with me. She's knows I'm off to go clothes shopping on Thursday. (Not how much I might spend tho!) But I don't want to bring her with me. She's 18 and gorgeous and it will be all about her and I'll end up spending the money on her, not me.

I feel like a real shit 😂 But not that much of a shit.

I can keep it up. With the promotion. If I give myself a boot up the rear and get started, I can keep the hair, nails, teeth, clothes.

I got my nails done yesterday too. Acrylics. For the first time. I can't text or anything ! They're gorgeous. Black. And quite long. And very very shiny.

Yes to getting colours done as first step. I had mine done about 23 years ago for work. Saves not just money but heaps of time!

100% of my investment pieces comply with my (deep winter) colours. 90% of my total wardrobe does, and always have one of "my" colours at the neck.

If you get your colours done you'll know your key neutrals and can build up a capsule wardrobe from there. Don't feel guilty about trading yourself because good quality clothes in the correct colour and shape for you will last many years.

And enjoy yourself

OMG OP. I am so excited for you, I want to go shopping with you! It sounds like you really deserve all this n

I would absolutely endorse the John Lewis personal shopper. I've been twice and they were great getting me to try on things I would never have thought would suit me. They were also very friendly and down to earth and didn't make me feel inferior for being older and dumpy. I went another time and they weren't so good and I ended up returning some things (to another store just in case she spotted me!). She was still very nice though.

Don't tell them you have 3 grand - if you say a thousand that will keep them grounded and you can always go over if they come up with some real gems.

Book the full make up lesson at Bobbi Brown - don't buy everything they recommend, but it will give you a starting point.

And I wouldn't go to Selfridges to shop, you could blow the entire budget one dress in there! But if you want to meet me in their champagne bar to show off your purchases I'll buy the first round.

Agree - do NOT discuss your total budget at the start or you will literally see the £££ signs of commission flashing in the stylists eyes. Tell them WHAT you are looking for, book a style session and say you want to try things out of your usual comfort zone etc or are looking for new ideas for the season.
Don't feel obliged to buy at the start. Take your time, try a few sessions in different places (or even a different stylist in same store ie 2/3 looks at John Lewis etc). See what you like from the options they offer, look at Pinterest or YouTube or glossy mags for some ideas of the total look you are after. You may want to keep some cash back for spring/summer remember!
Most of all, have fun, don't be pressured, oh and post lots of photos so we can all ooh over your new purchasers!!
Good for you for doing this. Investing in self care is SO important esp after what you've been through. Do NOT spend on the kids - this is time and care for YOU!! That's a bloody order from a fellow survivor

Trading yourself? treating yourself

If you've got a bargain loving streak and know your colours then could also consider trawling eBay for some vintage silk scarves and other such fripperies.

I love scarves. Sad but true.

I promise to take photos. I am so glad I posted now. I've lurked for ages and I know some of you would spend this on a bag but to me it's a fortune

I have worked so bloody hard for this. I NEVER spend on myself. This is really something strange for me. And the dentist scares the crap out of me. Not the dentist in particular. The idea of the dentist. I don't smile coz my teeth are shit I want to smile.

Am crying now. Fuck.

Go to John Lewis for their personal shopping.
Good brands that will last but won't break the bank are in my opinion Boden (look for a discount code on the promo thread on MN), White Company, John Lewis own brand cashmere, Tommy Hilfiger.
Russell and Bromley shoes last forever but are £££. I'd spend half now and half in the mid season sales!

Scarf loving is not sad! They are also very useful when building a capsule wardrobe. They last forever and are immune to weight fluctuations, what's not to like I bought 2 new ones last week alone - gorgeous vivid coloured patterns in silk. They're long rectangle shape and will be used at neck to smarten up some plain cashmere crew neck jumpers in my neutral colours, or to tie on handbags. Gorgeous!

Are you in, or can you get to, London?

Once you've made a start on teeth, hair, skin - I would suggest a day in London where you do nothing but wander extremely slowly through Dover Street Market (it's not a street market ...)

I really think you might find it revelatory to see what clothes can be when designers are freed from high street budget and ghastly good taste constraints.

(It's one of my favourite shops in the world.)

I can get to London. I can indeed.

Deep breath op, the anticipation is always worse than actuality.
You'll be fine, I bet I'm not the only one a tiddly bit 😀

Here's to a new 'you', you definitely deserve it!
Looking forward to following your metamorphosis 🍷💐👠👗👜

Can I recommend Jigsaw? They have really really improved over the past year or so and they have some beautiful clothes. They go up to a 16 (and it's generous, you may well need to size down). I've found most of the things I've bought over the past 12 months or so to be very good quality.
This dress is lovely - I've tried it on and it was pretty flattering www.jigsaw-online.com/product/broken-glass-crepe-dress/J30621_GY010

This is gorgeous too - could be nice with jeans or something a bit dressier www.jigsaw-online.com/product/silk-satin-batwing-top/J31653_GY007

Lovely also (sorry for all the grey, it's one of my favourite colours - other options on the website ) www.jigsaw-online.com/product/wrap-front-boat-neck-jumper/J30407_GY030

Warehouse also seems to have pulled its socks up recently. I literally haven't shopped there for about 15 years, but just recently have bought a few things and I really like them. This is lovely www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/winter-floralsilk-maxi-dress/027330.html?dwvar_027330_color=34&position=3&cgid=dresses#&start=3&categoryID=dresses

This looks like it would be good with some tan knee boots and a chunky cards when it gets colder: www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/ditsy-floral-midi-dress/026574.html?dwvar_026574_color=99&position=133&cgid=dresses#page=12&start=133&categoryID=dresses

Re: bags. Whistles is really good for lovely quality bags that are an investment, but not ridiculous prices. I think there will be the Grazia 25% discount next week, so that could really help a little bit - I've got my eye on this (also in black). www.whistles.com/women/accessories/bags/blake-large-hobo-bag-22381.html?dwvar_blake-large-hobo-bag-22381_color=Dark%20Red#start=1 and this www.whistles.com/women/accessories/bags/artesia-presslock-shoulderbag-22664.html?dwvar_artesia-presslock-shoulderbag-22664_color=Navy#start=1 .

Not sure whether you need any boots? I bought these in ta and black last Autumn and practically lived in them. They look high but don't feel it because of the platform - I can literally walk miles in them - may be a good option if you do heels:
www.dunelondon.com/social-cleated-platform-sole-leather-knee-high-boot-0090504510005511/

I'd better stop, I could go on for hours. I really hope you enjoy spending and get some lovely things that make you feel great. Good luck!