Turning 50 and having a positive outlook

[neveradullmoment99]

Can anyone help me. I will turn 50 in about a years time and am having a hard time not looking upon this age as a time of depressing gloom and the edge of a slippery slope of my body and face declining. Unlike other milestones, i seem unable to get past the idea that I shouldnt be wearing this, that or other because of my age. So...
I need positivity in my mind. What did you do when you turned 50?
Did you do a style revamp? Did you say to hell with it, its only a number and move on? Or did someone give you a boot up the arse like my dh would or something else?

It wasn't really about being 50 but around then I had my hair bleached - I have a short, bleached crop - which was rather wonderful after many years of not colouring my hair at all. I'm much more 'oh the hell with it, I'll wear what I like' now than I used to be. Being over 50 has been liberating in lots of ways. But then I was never one of those women that people used to turn and look at in the street anyway.

I turned 50 this year, and haven't made many changes regarding my looks, but have decided to sort out my emotions and come to terms with what's happened in my life so far. I have a few issues that I need to work through with someone. I'm just gathering information and finding a counsellor.

I'm also with Nimi in terms of not really giving a stuff about what others think. I do spend more time on myself, too.

I found turning 30 much worse than 50!

I gradually put on weight for the first time in my life at 50 and I have just got rid of lots of clothes that don't fit any more.

I decided to buy less but better quality eg cashmere jumper and a designer bag which I would not have done before. It's been a long time since I can get away with a lot of the high street fashion stores so dont bother even looking.

I shop a lot online eg house of Fraser or John Lewis even asos where you can get a lot of brands. When they have a promotion I order tons and send half of it back but I am left with a few decent quality items.

I used a tip I got from here. Search on Pinterest for the looks you like and then list what you need to look like the images! Eg I needed skinny black jeans, tan ankle boots, a black tote bag and a loose white shirt. There's my shopping list.

I have stopped trying so hard to keep up with fashion now I'm 50. I wear mostly jeans, white shirts, t-shirts and hoodies. I have my hair cut and coloured every six weeks and wear next to no make up. I had my front teeth crowned about 3 years ago so I smile much more now.

Everyone at work says that I look much younger than 50, not sure how much of that is due to me being happier than I've been for years though. I'm sure your emotional health really does show in your face.

I am 51 next month. Tbh, no "big birthday" has ever bothered me...I don't follow fashion and am more interested in perfume than shoes and clothes I rocked a size 10 until recently, when post-menopause I seem to be chunky up top and around my waist. Hmmm.

I think it's all to do with attitude tbh, I wear what I've always worn, because I've never been cutting edge. Friends of mine (and this sounds horrid, sorry) have gone totally into Fat Face bottle green and beige with a pair of birkenstocks territory and I think "nooooooo, don't do it" I think you should wear what suits you, irrespective of how old you are, I passed a woman this morning, about mid-40s, permatan, totally straightened long black hair, bling and a skin tight t-shirt and ripped jeans and she looked ridiculous. A pair of normal jeans, a white gap t shirt, and she'd have looked fantastic.

I think skincare is very important- and I suppose hair- maybe I could knock 10 yrs off if I could be bothered to go and get a proper haircut!

What an elegantly chilled and sane thread. Am 50 in Feb and think it's a good thing. I have lost weight this year which feels great. If IWork on my posture I am happy with how I look and v contended with my wardrobe which is largely converse DMS jeans and tops caddies jumpers scarves. I like my new glasses too.

My top tip though is facial exercise. It has shoved my cheeks back on my bones. Been doing since January.

oo I have the facercise book and have never given it a proper go. I need to dig it out.

Do it Atticus. Tis worth it. Takes a few weeks to reap any results, but yeahhhhh

Which book/tutor/dvd please for facial exercises? Would so welcome advice! Thanks

Ooooh, I want the book/dvd as well! Tell us!

I agree. What a lovely thread. Thought I might get responses like oh just be grateful you are still here or none. Thankyou for the lovely advice. I am going to seriously look at making a few changes like my teeth, glasses and hair. I have been on the 5:2 for nearly a year after putting on weight with anti depressants. Come down from a 14 to a 10/12. Dye my hair with henna. Am growing it longer!!! I have always been pretty and find its hard as i feel my looks are fading fast now. Thank you. Keep your lovely ideas coming in.😁

Oh I have been doing faceraises for my neck. I just went online. If you have a book that would be great to know what it is.

Facersizes

I have the carole maggio one but didn't know there was a dvd version. might have a look at that because part of the issue with me is that I can't work out whether I'm doing the exercises correctly.

Never -how lovely that you say you're pretty. Carry on enjoying that, everyone else will

I did facercise for 6months from a book and its fab. Don't do it in front of a mirror you will look like a chump and it will put you off.

I love Agelessifyoudare Louise Annette. Bit homespun looking but the exercises are a studied amalgamation of other programmes. Its more grabby of your skin than facercise.

I find I'm walking with my chin tiped up because I'm pleased with how my jaw has toned and changed.

You lot have prompted me to book a cut/colour.

I also love walking round with a colourful tote bag. I'm in kids media and I got a freebie cartoon network bag. It feels cool.

I actually love surprising people with things like my knowledge of punk when they have made an assumption about me based on me looking arty but sensible.Getting older can be fun.

Oh and Pilates. Every week. If I don't go, after a month I feel like my joints have been de-oiled.

My appearance changed more in 50s then in any decade since my teens. My main advice is to keep reviewing your wardrobe because it's easy to lose your way. If you no longer look good in your favourite top, check if your boobs have grown. This happened to me - I went from pear to practically hourglass!

I had a 'buy less, buy better' phase. It was a complete waste of money because my body changed and I hardly wore them. I say, use this decade to try lots of different styles and colours. Have fun with your clothes and ignore all the 'age appropriate' bollocks. Ignore it on S&B. Ignore it everywhere. If something suits you, then it's age appropriate.

Good underwear. Your body gets saggy. Get refitted for a bra and keep going back.

Glasses are great. They distract from all the chaos on your face. The cats eye shape gave me back my cheekbones. And watch your hair - I don't mean the colour (mine is grey and I like it) but it's worth keeping the style up to date. If hair and specs are modern, everyone assumes you are too.

I've just turned 60 and big birthdays always make me reflective: they remind me that I'm way past the halfway stage and that life is starting to run out. I try and use that as an incentive to make the most of every day.

You may need to step away from S&B and Mumsnet sometimes. It can be appallingly ageist.

I didn't notice much difference when I turned 50, but they have become noticeable from 55 onwards, and now I have turned 60 I'm aware how much like my DM I am. And that is a good thing because ma is fantastic at 81. She walks and stays fit, she is as interested in life as she ever was and though she doesn't hear as well as she did, she shelled out for top quality aids because she hated the huge free NHS ones.

Flo is right about glasses and underwear and the PP who needs Pilates is spot on too. Carrying excess weight is ageing, but so is being too thin.

My hairdresser is really important these days; her view is that older ladies especially need a great MODERN cut so it doesn't look as if you are giving up and becoming invisible. I ditched the colour about a year ago, but may review that decision.

A teenage son is (maybe surprisingly) my fan when I am not being intrusive ; he told me that I was cooler than his friends' mums, because I wasn't trying too hard. (Actually, I work damned hard at it, but try not to let it show!) And I smell lovely .

Floisme you are spot on - "If hair and specs are modern, everyone assumes you are too. I am 53 and I have a decidedly Scandi look going on. My hair is past my shoulders, and 3 shades of blonde. My glasses are square black ones.

I also second her advice to use this decade to try out different styles and colours. I wear skinnies with suede ankle boots, leather jackets, scarves etc. It works for me. When I do need to dress up, I try stuff on from Cos and find it pretty much works for me. All kind of structural Scandi style which I've discovered I really really like. I never buy from Hobbs, or Phase Eight, of God forbid, White Stuff as that style just doesn't seem to make me feel happy - even though I often bought from Hobbs in my 30s and 40s. I've changed on the inside, and I'm having fun searching for, and wearing, clothes that reflect who I am these days.

Sadly, your shape will change (unless you're one of the lucky ones) and it will be a challenge to keep on top of any weight gain. I too have gone from pear shaped to hour glass. Also your colouring is changing, and by the time you're in your 50s you will suit very different colours than you think you do. I, for instance, now suit olive green and a coral red and I have the confidence to wear them. Pointless spending a lot of money on any clothes, but you can still look good stuff without spending a fortune.

Go to a make up counter, and get a makeover booked and find out what now suits you. I had mine done by Mac, and it's a subtle "finished" look using an eyeshadow colour that I would never have used by myself.

Menopause itself is a whole different thread........

Thanks everyone. Just dug out my Bobbi brown book living beauty. Going to re-read for inspiration too. Whole section on the menopause and adult acne [other thread!!!] I have some spots but not acne - yet!

What a fab thread. I'm not quite there yet at only 47, but I've really pulled myself together this year, ditched the ADs, feel far more confident and have lost 22kg ( so far). I thought I needed to pre-empt any menopausal weight gain and get much fitter.
Loving the facial exercises advice, I'm going to give that a go.
I don't care about current fashion, tend to live in Converse and flared jeans, fitted t)shirts with funky prints, cropped jackets and woolly cowls.
But...would love some modern hairstyle recommendations. I currently have the Mumsnet cut in grey!

Things I have done differently since being 50

Walk for 3 hours a day

Go to gym 5 x a week ( local council one so not expensive)

Eat what I enjoy and probably drink too much wine

Have blow dry to hair (obviously ) every week

Roots done every 6 weeks

LVL lashes

Go on holiday as many times I can afford

Enjoy myself as much as possible

Where do you walk for three hours, each day?

Well i do have a year to go but want to prime myself for it!!! I am not a follower of fashion really in that i don't go out of my way to look for it. However, i don't realise i am following it because i just buy whats in the shops that i like. I was looking at photos of myself today from a christening i was at. I looked fine in the body and face but thought my dress looked a bit crap. It made me honestly wonder whether i am dressing for my shape or the shape i think i have. I have generally always been a pear but around my tummy I have a pot belly and this gives me a leaning towards a more apple shape in my pictures. Yet my waist is very slim but my lower waist where my jeans sit is where i sport the most weight so i go in under my bust very narrowly and then sport it round tummy and right round.
How do you know you are dressing right for your shape? I always thought i knew but looking at myself in photos i dont think i have ever made the most of my shape.

I think maybe i need to take a cold hard look at myself without clothes!