Dressing too old for my age I think

[wizzywig]

Im 40 and in an attempt to look classy, i think i actually dress way older than my age. Eg, I look at Carole Middletons clithes and think "ooh that looks nice". I get clothes from monsoon, banana republic, oliver bonas, white stuff. Are these shops for 40 yr old working mothers?

Agree about white stuff, if it's just one of a number of shops you have a glance at and you don't over do it then you're bound to spot something at some point. I have two jumpers from whitestuff, forest Green is definitely my colour so I look out for things in forest green. And the other is a lovely mid pink, tea rose blush colour. I know they work with my colouring and they're fitted and plain not shapeless with a ditzy pattern!

This post made my day. Thank you.
Bet you look lovely whatever you wear though.

Agree with Flo and others re age and to remaining receptive and open to all areas of inspiration.

Really helpful post Flo, I will try to remember that.

I find the age comments odd as well; there's nothing wrong with wearing a top that you then see on someone in their 50s, or someone in their teens, if you feel it works for you. I think in recent(ish) years fashion has become more inter-generational. Most women I know who aren't "into fashion" dress in broadly the same way. Tunic and leggings or jeans and a casual top. I think dressing casually and looking stylish is a tough call! If you don't want to look older then plain fabrics in neutral colours and modern cuts, paired with some accessories you like will look relatively ageless.

Interesting you ask about the male equivalent, Great. My fella is almost 50. He just binned a load of his fave band t-shirts & bought some nice quality plain ones in muted colours.
He wears Levi's & Docs, khaki / leather jackets, but felt that he wanted to smarten up without moving into Chinos territory.
Same with me. I still like my overall look, but need to smarten up. It's the bad quality on the high street that gets me now. Oasis & Warehouse used to do great stuff, it's a sea of polyester now. At the same prices! I tend to go for charity shop finds & TK Maxx (though as another poster said, the dross is beginning to filter down). But shopping that way doesn't help me pull a "look" together.
I think I need to edit my own wardrobe. I've been doing a "Style Kondo" but it's hard to let go! I need to be ruthless with my jewellery / shoes / make-up too.
Agree with Flo that it's about shape / personal style as much as age. I know what suits me & never buy anything "fashion". I won't wear anything that's not comfortable or high quality.

I'm late 30's and tend to shop at Oasis, Warehouse, occasionally New look for simple basics. I shop quite selectively at French Connection and All Saints (love the style of AllSaints but think it is very overpriced for the quality). I buy jeans from Boden as they are good quality and well cut and also have quite a few of Boden Breton tops which I think are fairly classic casual wear and pretty non offensive! Not too keen on white stuff as its not very exciting or interesting and I find it pretty dull. I find H & M and occasionally Primark good for basics.

Thanks for all yr advice. My story is that i think in an attempt to look confident and cover up my anxieties about going back to work after 8 odd years as a sahm (with a uniform of rural/ country school mum, ie, skinny jeans, knee high boots and stripy tops) i think ive tried to put on a 'grown up' look when in reality i feel like a kid trying to be grown up.

I know what you mean, wizzy, about feeling dressed up like a "lady". But I've figured out that it suits me better than mini skirts now!

Op reviewing your wardrobe because you've hit a new phase of your life makes complete sense. It might even be worth starting a new thread about it - if you can face it

I would never say my age has nothing to do with how I dress. I'm getting saggy and my upper arms, knees and thighs are shot. That's age and I dress to accommodate it. I'm also all for changing your style because your lifestyle has changed or because you're bored with your old look. I totally get how a big birthday (I've just had one myself) can make you stop and think about everything from your wardrobe to mortality.

But I disagree very strongly with this notion that there's a prescribed way of dressing at every age. We don't all look the same.

Young people do not have a monopoly on looking stylish. Middle aged and old women are as entitled as anyone else to wear nice clothes, enjoy fashion, experiment and make mistakes.

And I hate seeing 'old lady', 'mumsy' 'granny', 'old' 'ageing' and 'nanna' used on here as shorthand for 'unflattering' and 'unstylish'. Pisses me right off.

This is not a pop at the op who has apologised.

Someone mentioned &Otherstories which I really like but don't always love the fabric - very cool though and the handbags are really good for the price. Check them out online. Also Finery which I think is very reasonably priced - I have a couple of bits which I like ( online only). Cos - depending on your shape. And finally Comptoir de Cottonairs ( fucking hell I've no idea how to spell it). French casual chic - real stores and online.

Flosime - I agree with you about the age thing and the derogatory comments about mumsy stuff etc. My mum has a real shopping habit and is super glamorous - never in a flat shoe always a heel. She's the one who gave me my Finery stuff - and I borrowed a black Finery jumpsuit to wear at the weekend. She's in her 70's and I'm in my 40's......we've both bought stuff from Vivienne Westwood etc which I truly hope will be making its way into my wardrobe one days

I'm 38 I shop in Zara, mango, toast, gap, uniqlo.
I'm pretty certain I don't look frumpy, even if my shop choices are pretty uninspired.

I don't understand the whole concept of dressing 'your age'.

In my late 20's I carried a bit of extra weight from having babies and wore loose fitting clothes and bootcut jeans to try and disguise it.

Now in my 40's i'm in good shape, I go running and am fitter than I've ever been. Therefore I feel confident enough to wear fitted clothes and skinny jeans. Age has bugger all to do with it. I don't wear nasty polyester tops or arse skimming skirts, but then I never did.

Btw I shop just about anywhere - including charity shops. You just have to be really picky. If something doesn't make you feel fantastic when you try it on, don't buy it.

I will never understand why Monsoon is always slated as frumpy here. DD is 19 and most of her stuff comes from there, her uni friends love it too. And they all look gorgeous. I've always loved Monsoon too, and DD is always stealing my stuff. Of course there are the odd bits we wouldn't wear, but that's the same for any shop.

I'm 43 and wear what I like - I've developed my own style over the years and have just tweaked it slightly as I've got older. I think having a more individual look means you defy age categorisation a bit - plus if you don't slavishly follow fashion, there's less chance you'll look dated.

And no, my look isn't 'old hippy'

I think it depends on your figure / look too? I'm 40 and struggle with what I'm meant to look like. Because I'm short and skinny I look ridiculous in a lot of "grown up" clothes - I'm not a womanly looking woman at all! But you might be tall and curvy and that gives you more freedom I think!

Flo totally agree I don't get this ageist Shite on here, we are all individuals with our own sense of style, I am in my fifties & have never worn leggings/tunic combo in my life or anything from whitestuff/fatface but if that's what you like, fine it's your money.
I have a fucking fabulous figure 25"inch waist & 34" hips (not a stealth boast a full on boast)
I shop in a variety places I dress in what suits me, fitted/well tailored dresses & trousers & skinny jeans/fine knit jumpers, biker jacket for casual wear, the only thing I don't wear is very short skirts.
So please stop with the frumpy old lady nonsense.

You have got to be 'comfortable' in yourself to be comfortable with what you wear. Whats good for one, is not necessarily right for another, whatever the age group. Go with what feels right for you.