Dressing too old for my age I think

[wizzywig]

Im 40 and in an attempt to look classy, i think i actually dress way older than my age. Eg, I look at Carole Middletons clithes and think "ooh that looks nice". I get clothes from monsoon, banana republic, oliver bonas, white stuff. Are these shops for 40 yr old working mothers?

I'm 40 and wouldn't go near Oasis or Ted Baker

It really depends on the look you are going for.
I like sleek, stylish and grown up and i think Oasis is a bit young and quite shoddy.

I tend to shop in the following, this isnt where everything is bought just some items
Investment or event dresses and trousers - Whistles, Sandro, Maje
Jacket/Blazers for work - Mango
Night out outfits that work for just 1 or 2 seasons - Zara
Knitwear - Clements Ribero (in TK Maxx)
Coasts and blouses - Gerard Darel
Random items - Cos, River Island (very careful here)

It's so hard. I'm 37 and don't know what to wear most days.

I love the classic pencil dress and heels look but then think I have years to wear that.

What makes it doubly difficult is I work in a small design studio and I'm the only one there who's my age. Those younger than me tend to wear jeans, tops, flip flops and the olders (50-60) wear dresses and heels so I'm stuck in the middle not knowing what the hell to wear!

Once my 55 year old boss wore a dress that I had at home! I swiftly put it on eBay....

Watching with interest!

I turned 40 at Christmas and felt really old and frumpy looking. I started following lots of over 40s fashion blogs and they were brilliant! I get loads of ideas of individual actual items currently in the shops and how to style them.

I had a new haircut last week, and I've started wearing different make up. I feel great now!

Google the fashion lift, does my bum look 40 in this, my fashionable 40s, my mid life chic.

I think you will improve your look immediately by avoiding Monsoon and White Stuff - if you're worried about dressing 'too old', these 2 are not going to help. Have you looked online at Baukjen (a lot is a bit clingy, but some stylish things that are a bit different to high street) or Whistles? I'm a bit fat for Whistles at the minute, but like the look of a lot of their stuff.

Ok op I was going to suggest that you and other posters seem to be focussing on your age but I see this as a style issue. Why not ask, 'I'm a classic dresser but I'd like to look a bit spikier / more modern. What do other classic dressers do?'

One way - as said, is to change where you shop. Lots of good suggestions; I'd start with H&M, Zara, French Connection, Oasis, Whistles. You'll see lots of things you don't want but keep going and you'll find very wearable basics where all the small details are bang up to date.

The downside is that the quality will be hit and miss. If you don't want to compromise then you could stick with BR etc but think more about accessories: shoes, jewellery, hair, specs (if you wear them). If they look modern, you'll look modern.

Ok this 50+ year-old: what made me cross is that all you commented on was her age. You didn't seem to see a person. (You're not the only one.) What was her body shape? colouring? What did she wear with the top? Did it work? Why? Why not? Is there anything there for you?
I get ideas and inspiration everywhere, from my teenage niece through to my mum who lived into her 90s. It doesn't mean I copy either of them.

I've got to agree with Flo . Also even the much maligned shops sometimes have just the right thing for you in. It's not as simple as good shop/bad shop. You can still look mumsy (is this the greatest fashion crime?!) dressed in whistles etc

It is also an urban vs country thing.

Living in a village where I have to wade through mud up to my ankles for about 9 months of the year, those suede grey boots just are never going to get worn.

you have to factor lifestyle in, more than age IMO.

Well said Flo.

I'm 32 and pretty clueless - I had kids at 24 and never really stopped dressing like a baggy surfwear teenager. Now almost everything is deemed 'mumsy' but I can't be arsed with H&M/Dorothy Perkins stuff because it washes so poorly. I like things to last, and not fade. And I can't afford Ted Baker and Whistles!

I'm really liking Hollister stuff at the moment, some of the quality's good - but I only shop online, not the shops. I'm 20 years too old to be in the shops.

Zara and Mango, but quality iffy. Bershka and Pull&Bear but quality even iffier.

I agree with floisme.

Age is not what you should be focusing on unless you're 17 or 77 or figuring out how much flesh to reveal. Figure out your style. Very occasionally I think, tartan trousers, no, too old for a nod to punk (this time around)

The look I like is quite pulled together in an understated way. Faux insouciance. Simple and classy with a twist but through the eyes of somebody 10 years younger. I do sometimes go to Aldi looking like a dog's dinner mind you. A dog's dinner of indeterminate age.

White Stuff used to be great about 15 years ago - folky and quirky, but in a good way. Then they took away the waists and made everything shapeless, added 4 inches to every length so everything came to mid-shin or lower, oversized everything 'for comfort' and toned down the fun designs and colour pallets into sad muddy shades and a whole lot of navy 'for work'. It's become so dismal!

And then Fat Face followed them. I loved FF stuff when I was 17-19, I'd happily be head to toe in it then. Even if I did send them a grouchy email about the catalogue showing the male models mountain-biking and snowboading and the female ones drinking cocktails and watching... it was supposed to be an active-wear brand, back then.

I hate fat face. Everything is like stuff you already have, and don't wear.

I don't think age is as important as the life stage and occasion you are dressing for. I am a 37 year old working mother and shop mostly from:

Finery London
Banana Republic
Baukjen
By Malene Birger (often good discounts via The Outnet)
Boden (plain rather than prints)
J Crew
ASOS (you have to trawl through the site but I've found some lovely things if you have the patience to look)
Whistles
M&S (gets a lot of bad press and often deserves it, but they've had some lovely things in Autograph recently)

Nothing wrong with banana republic for work

This year nearly all my work wardrobe is Ted Baker although I also wear a fair bit of Jigsaw, Reiss, Massimo Dutti and to a lesser extent Topshop, Boden M&S & even (shock horror!) monsoon and next.

I'm often complimented on my outfits

Cos, Plumo, Toast, Whistles are all great. People Tree too.

I am neither stylish or beautiful but I love reading S&B.

Faux insouciance is brilliant.

I don't get the age thing either-if the clothes suit you, look good and make you feel good, it's a winner, surely? As for older women rocking clothes that you own: I just aspire to that confidence and sortedness iyswim?

I agree that it style not age here.
Yesterday I saw a woman in her 80's, she had silver short hair, an all black outfit, with studed leather high tops, silk scarf, big silver hoop earring and a leopard print pull along shopping bag. Massive style crush.

I'm the opposite. I think I dress too young. Always loved an indie/rock look and minis (which I've ditched, reluctantly). I'm 43 and in limbo. Too young for Per Una too old for TopShop. I need a style intervention.....

I might add that I like to be individual. It seems that skinnies, scarves and blazer is the recimmended look - trouble is jeans dont suit me and I dont want to wear that same look arghhhhhh! Don't want to be classic or classy!!!!!

I frequently wear White Stuff (mid forties) and am often mistaken as much younger. It can't be that bad. I think it's how you wear it, posture, attitude and so on.

I hate the word 'frumpy' or 'mumsy' what it the male equivalent? Also don't like the idea you can only wear certain things at certain ages, I've just raided my daughter's wardrobe as she's gone to uni for jeans to wear with my White Stuff

Middle, I know what you mean. I spent my teens in a combo of indie and hippie clothes and have struggled to sharpen the look a bit. What has helped is changing the style of favourite clothes slightly. Instead of the flouncy hippie skirts I now have maxi skirts in a block colour and straighter silhouette - more flattering to my post-baby figure. I also follow a general rule of only one floaty item of clothing - so if wearing a maxi skirt, my top if figure hugging.

I think a good haircut is key and I haven't quite nailed that yet. Had my hair cut shorter and it's left me looking older. I expect it could be remedied by a decent colour...

Depressing ageist comments on here - I am 60 and shop across a wide range including Hush, Baukjen and H&M. I where what I love and what uits my shape and lifestyle. Age has nothing to do with it

And keep doing it!
Each year for the last few years I feel like I'm getting it a bit more right than I did last year. I rule out fabrics rather than shops. Ie, nothing 100% polyester which is a lot of Oasis's clothes but not everything.

see this top from Oasis, I like the way the shoulders are cut, v flattering, but it is 100% polyester so no way

Oasis drive me mad with this!