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Original poster

Insensitive comments about appearance

52 replies

pamplem0usse · 13/08/2016 22:14

So I was wondering what the worst thing anyone has said to you about your appearance and what (if anything!) you did in response.
Took my dd to the nurse yesterday for her 8 week jabs and the nurse (a propo of nothing) said "whys your face so red".... I have (mild) rosacae and she proceeded to quiz me about whether it ever "went down" / itched.
This was hot off the back of another Mum asking me if baby was a boy (she's not) and congratulating me on the new pregnancy (actually the remainder of three c sections)....
Was feeling ok about myself, now down in the dumps!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
pamplem0usse · 14/08/2016 12:49

Urgh thanks for sharing everyone.... Some people just don't think before they engage their mouths do they?! Quite a lot of people by the sounds of it!!

OP posts:
ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 14/08/2016 12:58

Babytalk my dm used to say that to me when I was a teenager (generally when I was taking 'too long' over putting make up on/trying to style my hair so that I could feel human and not ashamed of my appearance as I usually did). I hardly wear any make up now, and my hair gets a brush run theough it once a day whether it needs it or not.

Wishfulmakeupping · 14/08/2016 13:00

God I must be a munter lol had some terrible things said about me...
Was told at school that I looked masculine (I'm quite tall)
That I look like a bulldog (thanks sis)
And when I was 19 and sis was 17 there was a local beauty pageant announced my dm was animatedly telling my dsis all about it and when I asked she said 'wishful you wouldn't need to worry about this'- for years that broke me as my dsis was always known as the 'pretty' one and it was my own mum confirming it.
However I'm in my 30's now sorted out my weight, hair and wardrobe and I don't think I'm too shabby ;) I get told on a regular that I'm very like Kate Middleton- and I know she's not everyone's cup of tea on here but that's a huge compliment to me :)

ProjectGainsborough · 14/08/2016 13:13

Good for you, Wishful

Some of the comments on here are are awful. I think they say more about the commenters than they do the 'victim' though.

DH once said to me 'We've got quite big noses, you and I, haven't we?'

we have?? Angry

Cellardoor23 · 14/08/2016 13:13

Just to add to my pregnancy fat comment. It did nothing for my self esteem. I thought I looked alright! I still had a shape and to me a clear bump. Obviously not! When your hormones are all over the place and you're struggling to find something to wear without feeling like a potato, it's the last thing you want to hear lol. Some people really need to think before they speak.

Whataboutwhathuh · 14/08/2016 13:15

I've been told by more than one person that I am the ugliest person that person has ever seen. I sometimes have bad eczema on my face and often around my mouth. I've been asked if I'd eaten my breakfast messily.

OneNightTimeMenaceStrikesBack · 14/08/2016 13:21

just yesterday, some thoughtless people commented in my hearing that i was too fat to be wearing a short skirt and oh my god have you seen the size of her legs. it's muscle you fuckers, for th most part anyway and my skirt wasn't that short AND i had tights on and all that aside, it's none of your fucking business and what makes you think you have the right to make someone feel like shit just because they don't fit YOUR ideal look. i look fine so take you thoughtless, insensitive commentary and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

i wouldn't dream of making a negative comment about someones appearance, if i havent got anything nice to say, i say nothing but to be perfectly honest, it isnt hard at all to find positive things to say abut or to someone no matter what they look like. if people focused more on being positive people in general the world would be a much nicer place for everyone to be in

TheSpottedZebra · 14/08/2016 13:22

I was working in a big building, shared by a number of companies, and I used to say hello in passing to this woman, ask about weekends etc etc. Then one day she came in with a massive bruise on her face. OMG what's happened to your face, are you ok? I asked loudly. I thought she'd been in a car crash. Er yes, it's just my birthmark she said, as everyone stared.

I said sorry (not sure if she'd usually covered it up, or I just had not noticed it?). Then I never saw her again as I changed jobs. I still feel awful.

IveGotCheese · 14/08/2016 13:30

Complained I was tired because I'd been at work from 8am until 11pm and my colleague (who literallly comments on every woman's weight if they are over a size 10) pinched my belly and said 'that's why you're tired! Why don't you get yourself to the gym and lose it then you won't feel so crap!'

I'd just lost 2 stone as well. Fucker Angry

specialsubject · 14/08/2016 13:39

Good god. Rule 1 - never comment on appearance unless specifically asked for an opinion. Boring conversation anyway.

Although asking if baby is boy or girl doesnt seem unreasonable.

Whataboutwhathuh · 14/08/2016 13:44

People have mistaken both my sons for girls. I don't always correct them I just ignore it and carry on with whatever I was doing as it is usually shop assistances / people I don't know. Doesn't bother me at all.

TwoLittleBlooms · 14/08/2016 14:37

Cellar I had a similar experience when I was still pregnant - one of the pharmacists at work was chatting to me and somehow I said "I'm 5 months pregnant" - can't remember what we had been talking about - and his comment was "Oh, I just thought you had a beer belly, thought you were my kind of woman!" Shock I laugh about it now, the chap is lovely guy just didn't put his brain in gear, no malicious intent - but at the time like you it made me self conscious about my bump.

Iamabuyingbootsaddict · 14/08/2016 14:48

My mum regularly says I have "big arms". This makes me quite self conscious to wear anything sleeveless. I'm not convinced they are big but often I will hear her saying it to me when trying on something summery. Thanks mum. So kind (not).

Pencilplant · 14/08/2016 18:28

Someone at work recently told me I was obviously one of those women who didn't worry much about her appearance. Then she went on to say that that would mean my kids wouldn't either. But she said no offence so that's ok then.
My husband said afterwards... Bloody hell then if you are why does it take you so f*g long to get ready.

twostepsister · 14/08/2016 18:33

'Have you got a licence for that nose?' my reply 'Yes, have you got one for that grotesque mouth?'

BrillianaHarvey · 14/08/2016 23:19

At the cervical smear clinic: 'You do have a very short vagina.'
Crushed.

Destinysdaughter · 15/08/2016 17:43

A student I hadn't seen for a few months asked if it was a boy or a girl?.I hadn't even been pregnant!ConfusedShock

oldlaundbooth · 15/08/2016 18:50

Some of these are awful.

MIL said to me ' Now that you've lost weight you can actually see your features' Hmm

I was just a blob beforehand.

Friend at school 'At second glance your actually quite pretty, not the first time though'

The thoughtlessness of youth!

BoJolly · 15/08/2016 20:54

  1. My mum: "You've got quite nice legs - they're not as skinny as the rest of you."

  2. Colleague after seeing 25yr old photo of me: "You used to be so glamorous"

  3. DS1: "Why don't you have smooth skin like my teacher?" (probably because I was twice her age! and he was only 5 so I'll let him off Grin)

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 15/08/2016 21:09

That reminds me; DD's three y/old friend, on seeing me for the first time without glasses (in a loud, matter-of-fact voice): 'you look like a witch.'

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 16/08/2016 00:19

I hope you're going to put in a complaint about the insensitive bitch. Calls herself a nurse.
I had stones thrown at me as a teen. As I was so repulsive. It was horrible. Not so much the stone throwing but the insults. That saying Sticks and stones is absolute bull shit. Cruel words rip you apart. I Even considered suicide. Thank God I didn't though. I'd have missed so much and what for a gang of fucking twats.
I bumped into an old class mate years later. Who couldn't believe I was the same person. Fuckin hell I live. I'm not exactly saying you were ugly at school, but. You've certainly matured well.

JackandDiane · 16/08/2016 08:04

but DID you look like Michael Jackson? stifles giggle

Thefitfatty · 16/08/2016 08:17

When I was growing up people always asked me if I'd broken my nose.

I was always asked if I was anorexic when I was young.

Now:

Are you expecting number three? (No I have diastasis recti, working on it thanks)

You'd be perfect if it wasn't for your stomach (thanks dude, again, 2 kids 2 c-sections and diastasis recti)

Oh you've gone and gained all the weight again! (Thanks cunt).

busymumtime · 16/08/2016 14:08

Being ginger I used to get loads of horrible comments in my youth (not so much now though, in fact its the opposite!).

One of the ones that stung most was when I was about 15 and walking home from school. A total stranger ran up to me, asked me if I was Madonna then when I said no screamed 'of course not you're fucking ugly' in my face.

HoneyBeeMum1 · 16/08/2016 19:21

My mother-in-law, while never deliberately cruel, was not always tactful.

On one occasion when my husband and I were staying with my parents-in-law, I was late for lunch with friends of my in-laws'. I announced that - to save time - I wouldn't bother with make up. My mother-in-law turned to look at me before saying 'I am sure we are not in that much of a hurry, dear.' Shock