What's the WORST bit of style and beauty advice you've ever been given?

[LazyCake]

Just that really, as a follow on from the recent thread on best pieces of advice.

Me first: I often hear the advice that women should wear less makeup as they get older, go for more muted colours and effects, etc. To me, this seems to be a tantamount to saying 'fade out, don't draw attention, become invisible.' My Dad's new girlfriend is 70+ and wears loads of makeup, which looks absolutely fab, IMO.

What are your worst pieces of advice?

RiverTam, if the Eucerin doesn't work (it's the one in the tall lotion bottle called something like 'emulsion' - it has the urea 10% concentration on the front - you get it in big boots stores, not the smaller ones or most normal pharmacies unfortunately) - try cracked heel balm (yes, really). It has a higher concentration of urea in it and much more widely available as a bonus!

'If you don't have much of a waist, wear a belt to define it.' Nope, it just screams "LOOK HOW MY WAIST IS AS BIG AS MY HIPS!!"

www.bad.org.uk/for-the-public/patient-information-leaflets/keratosis-pilaris/?showmore=1&returnlink=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bad.org.uk%2Ffor-the-public%2Fpatient-information-leaflets#.V5taevR4WnM

Flexitol heel balm has 25% urea in it so that may help

DM used to say 'Only wear navy in the summer' That's just mad I love my navy jeans ALL the year round!.

"Wear high heels it makes your legs look longer". Yes but they make me want to cut my feet off from the pain, sod that !

"use orange sticks to push down your cuticles" WHY ?? I have NEVER done this and my nails look nice so do my cuticles!!!!

'You're a 44 C" (bra fitting in M&S). I'm actually a 36JJ/K
'A perm will be lovely - you'll get nice loose curls. (Looked like a poodle for 6 months. A poodle with a BAD hair job)
'Wear Palazzo pants to hide your tummy". Cue 6 months looking like a brick till my MOTHER told me I really needed nice jeans.
'This foundation (that will require you to take a second mortgage on your home) will give you a nice healthy glow.' My husband asked if I was maybe eating too many carrots.
'It's really easy to wax your own bikini line'. Poor husband had to rescue me from that one at midnight one Friday evening.
'Crisp n dry is the best tanning oil there is'. Fortunately my mum refused to hand it over. I was 15 at the time and she made me slather on sunblock that was so thick it took a week to wash off.

Oh yes bra fittings. 'Try this 32D' I have a really broad back (and am fat) and can't breathe in less than a 38!!! In a 32 I needed extra cups for the bits that spilled out under my arms

Use hairspray to set makeup yes harsh chemicals near your eyes, nose and mouth is an excellent idea! Not to mention that lovely crunchy/sticky texture it gives your skin. Gorgeous!

"Lets warm you up" when getting a foundation match (am v pale and happy that way).

No, let's not.

Trinny and Susannah recommended wearing a dress over trousers. To work.
I worked in The City.
I didnt take the advice but It made me laugh.

Curly girl method
It doesnt work for everyone despite devotees claiming you must be doing it wrong. I looked like wurzel gummidge it was so unprofessional I feel embarrassed about that 3 month experiment

Pluck your eyebrows. Wish I had never listened to this gem, as I now spend ages trying to disguise a little baldy patch, and make them look a bit thicker.

When going for a manicure - try this shellac, it's fabulous and lasts ages.

And leaves your nails in appalling condition afterwards . Thanks for that.

If you're going out for the night, apply your makeup before you have your bath - the steam will open the pores and give you a glow.

Errr, no. It'll give me pepperoni pizza with black pepper and extra sweetcorn face.

Agree, curly girl method is not for everyone. I looked ridiculous when I embraced my curls. Someone at work asked if 'everything was ok' when I arrived (with curls) looking like I'd slept with my head in a hedge.

Not sure if this counts as style advice, but my mum told me I would never get a man if I wore micky mouse boxer shorts.

When I was about 22 I paid for a stylist session to help me look more professional at work. She did a great job nut she told me NEVER wear any glittery eyeshadow. I followed this until I was 50 when I let my inner princess break out. I love my sparkly eyes now.

Plucking eyebrows for sure! In the early to mid 1990s (when I was a teenager/early 20s) I had lovely eyebrows which will never grow back

DM said 'Get a body perm, it will give your hair some waves' (it didn't , I looked like a demented French Poodle).
I tried covering up my first grey hairs with a rinse 'guaranteed to cover grey hairs' (which it did, and my hair went deep burgundy, then orange when the hairdresser tried to strip it 😖)

Minimiser bras don't (I look like I'm wearing water wings)

Ditto 'smoothing' under garments (the blubber has to go somewhere and a rubber ring look below my bra and a tendency to roll down giving me a full body tourniquet isn't the look I intended)

And minimiser bra = mononorks on me 😨

Does anyone remember the baby oil advert saying to apply baby oil to your skin when you get out of the shower, still wet. "it actually seals in moisture!" the ad said.
I tried it a few weeks before getting married, and all my skin totally peeled off me like a snake.
Luckily I realised the cause and it had all cleared up before the big day, I never saw the ad again, but that was bad advice for sure.

Baby oil sounds harmless but it's just the same stuff as petroleum jelly, isn't it? Some sort of mineral oil that has no business being rubbed in anyone's skin!

Oh god I put effing Johnsxxs baby oil on our darling little first born daughter's back and she came up in a rash, I could've cried, I've never touched that shit since.

Oil cleansing method for me too. I had my very first bout of cystic acne in my mid thirties from it!! Took 6 months to clear.

Yes but the advert said to apply baby oil to WET skin, that is what caused the problem I think. I won't be trying it again anyway