Anyone fancy helping me NOT look like I've been bukkaked by Primark on this years holiday?

[TellEmSteveDave]

I have always had an.....idiosyncratic sense of style. And not much money to spend on clothes. It was much easier ten years ago when I did the whole 50's thing (the cropped high waisted jeans + tied at the belly gingham shirts with a flower in my hair kinda 50's rather than Lindy bop) but it's just not 'me' anymore.

I usually end up panic buying a load of cheap boring basics and a few kitsch tops/dresses with pineapples/flamingos/cocktails/cats in sunglasses on them.

I have long since reconciled with the fact that I will never be chic and pared down (and don't really want to be) but I would like to look a wee bit more grown up/put together.

Stats:

35
5'3
10-12 - Good boobs and bum but also fupa. Good (if dwarfish) legs
Quite pale with very cool colouring
Naturally grey hair which will be pixie length by the holiday
Look best in black
Wear makeup/bold lipstick 90% of time
Prefer dresses and skirts to trousers but don't like skater or maxi dresses. Can't wear 'midi' anything.

I like stripey breton t-shirt type dresses but when I try them on 99% swamp me. Also like loose shift style of dresses. I like the idea of a black cotton/natural fabric, short sleeve, loose/slouchy but above knee black dress to wear with nice sandals. That kind of relaxed but stylish is what I want to go for.

Any tips for looks/shops that might work for me?

Boo-kah-key.

I found the title quite funny and get it, Asos is your friend as is Zara, but Zara for key pieces in particular. H and m sometimes ok too although I think it's not soley where you shop, just how you pair things together, so with that in mind I hope with the general rule of one higher quality item teamed with a budget one.

*go not hope

I have just Googled bukkake, fupa and gunt. Thanks, guys...

OP, I know what you mean about Primark - I have never tried anything on Primark except shoes, so I tend to come away with an armload of stuff that turns out to be weirdly shaped or see-through. This is because there's always a huge queue for the changing rooms. Or else I think that there is no point in trying on £2 vests and buy 3 in different colours, to discover that one fits, one is see-through no matter what bra I wear, and one is randomly much smaller than the others and won't go over my boobs. And then they do something weird like run in the rain. So this year I too have decided to avoid Primark for cheap and cheerful holiday clothes. Except cardigans, which I can try on without going into the changing room.

I am going to look in New Look, Topshop and H&M for my cheerful holiday needs, although I haven't bought anything that I liked in H&M apart from tights and vests for years.

I also knew what it meant and I thought I was fairly innocent. :)

Personally I had a little giggle at the thread title

Would recommend American Eagle if you have one near you (also think they have an online shop). I've got a lovely plain black cotton jumpsuit with a sort of loose vesty top, drawstring waist and cuffed ankles. I am not v tall and before I tried it on thought it would make me look squat, but in actual fact it's wonderfully skimming disguises my wobbly bum a treat and makes me look much longer and leaner than I am.

Also it's SOOOO comfortable, I wore it on the plane in both directions on holiday, feels like pyjamas but looks much classier. Can also be dressed down with flat sandals or up with heels and a blazer for evening.

This thread is hysterical!!

What a great title
Can't believe that some people:
A. Didn't know what it meant
B. Are offended.
Are we really that sheltered on MN?!

For the minimal kinda look I like Cos, Gap, Zara, Whistles etc (eBay second hand is good). Good luck OP - you made me giggle..

I didn't know Primark did facials!
Is it a watersports holiday?
Will you be going south?

DrDre @,watersports

Thank you for teaching me a new word, OP, I shall drop it into general conversation this evening to see if the rest of my family are more widely read than me. There are reductions at Monsoon at the moment, which is much improved on recent years.

I've clearly led a sheltered life, as I didn't know what any of this meant. One of the girls at work thought it might relate to caravanning holidays? Hoseasons will never seem the same again ......

Thanks for the definition folks. I'm not sure that not knowing that makes me "sheltered". Equally I'm not offended. Boden actually have some nice plain summer stuff amongst the crazy crazy patterns. HTH.

I didn't know either of those words, and I thought I was a woman of the world...

Anyhow, your figure sounds similar to mine OP:

Zara for tops, (never bottoms, my thighs aren't Spanish enough)
Primark for shorts
Uniqlo for skirts
Oasis for cheapish dresses, also Dorothy Perkins. H and M good too

Please could everyone note that a fupa is NOT a type of caravan awning.

I cannot believe that none of you perverted vultures haven't jumped on CrowyMcCrowFace's 'I live in Iron Fist' given the context of this thread!

OP, have you tried the Mantaray line?

Very flattering.

This thread has made me giggle - feel positively virtuous that I had no clue what any of these words mean. I thought it was an Ali G reference - boyakasshah!!

Is it just me then that finds it hilarious that a poster called AnyFucker is going all cats-bum mouthed about the title?

OP, have you looked at Collectif and LadyV London? Retro but not overly so.

hilarious that someone with the user name AnyFucker complains about use of bad language...

I threw a bukkake party once. It was a disaster, nobody came.

Still don't know what fupa and gunt mean (and am a little scared yo google) but did know what bukkake meant

MrT

Farhi do nice summer dresses that you can get occasionally on eBay.

I'm a sheltered 49yo flower, and didn't know what bukkake meant - I assumed it was some sort of typo. But how is this a thing?

LOL at MrT, though.

Leaving aside the suspect title, I just bought a really cute stripy black & white striped "polo" dress from H&M - straight style, just above knee - has gone straight into the pile for my summer hols.

I think not wanting to look as though Primark has jizzed all over you is an entirely proper feeling and I like the cut of your jib OP.

I digress, not sure about your budget but

APC?

Toast?

Me + Em

Winser London?

Jcrew?

Also, given your colouring (which sounds the same as mine), I think navy could really work for you too, it's more flattering than black I find.

Don't think the comment was against bad language as such, more the fact that porn terms are unnecessarily used and infiltrating everyday language. Normalising it if you like. Which is a bit odd when you're just looking for style recommendations.