Crepe Oddity

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Sorry.

Thank you all for your lovely birthday wishes. I had an ordinary day, not feeling at all loved or cherished, but partially saved by a very enjoyable and tasty meal out locally with four other friends last night. Apparently we are going out for tea this afternoon which should be nice. I had one of those bite on the bum assaults of sadness when I opened dMums birthday card and it was signed from only her. Weird how it catches one unawares.

beachy I am trying to get away...technically there should be opportunities because I have no classes booked until the end of Feb. Let's see what we can do, eh.

herbs good news re your student!

cremo how annoying on both counts. I expect you're counting the days til your hols.

molly thanks for the link which I will peruse. Btw, I certainly have a partially packed rucksack...don't most of us?

CV hols sound fab!

stropps glad DD has accepted treatment and is venturing into school a bit more.

MI good luck with trip to DM tomorrow and glad you don't have to mortgage up your Sunday. Tomorrow I am also on DM duty...I have to go with her to Fortnums to choose a hamper for the Dr that looked after DDad. She won't trust the shop...she has to SEE what the hamper will look like.

Good luck in Norfolk tomorrow, MI, and to you in Fortnums tomorrow, Rose. Re OFRS, I think my mistake to date has been to not have a half-packed rucksack at all times. I now find it helps to be able to see the door and choose, on daily basis, whether to use it.

Crem, I hope you might consider staying here on 11/12 March or whenever...ds will still be at uni, so his comfy little room will be available to you, should you wish to use it. If you brought some photos of goats, dd would love you forever.

Molly, I just told DH that if I win the lottery, I'm leaving him. His face was a picture.

On my way home have cooked with ddad and filled the freezer with various meals. He is not coping well at the minute. DMum really not good yesterday. Lots of pain. Drs say op went okay and all healing nicely but up to her now and I'm not sure she has any fight left in her.
MI glad you are not having to trek to far end of beyond on a Sunday.

I have threatened to leave a number if times. Like Colly I keep it as an option at all times.

Always good to be able to see the way out. I think that's why m not bothered about getting married...

Mrs S - I'm buying you a lottery ticket.

Stropps, better news about dd. Baby steps. As long as things mostly going in the right direction I think that's amazing at this stage. The sleeping is prob partly relates to the tablets, as well as the effort of trying to rewire her thoughts. Love to u both.

BD awful for you to see dmum struggling.you are being amazing, supporting ddad atm.hope someone close is there for you too.

Rose, have a lovely afternoon tea. And when you get home, start planning your mini escape to the coast.

MI, can't believe your DM is 'giving dinner parties" wow, just wow. Hope your early morning run to East Angular is painless.

Molly, I'd love that!! Goat photos will be no problem at all. Too kind my love.

I have calmed down somewhat after a mega sleep of 12 ( XII twelve) hours. Now raring to go with the packing, DM has asked us for a meal tonight so no cooking ! Dh behaving more enthusiastically and on an ironing marathon. Strangely mild here so have flung open all the windows. Final countdown....

BD - your poor DM. Abdominal surgery is always so painful, as it's your very core. Hope she picks up.

Re: holidays, it's very unusual for us to be so forward-thinking, but we did promise the DCs this holiday at least a year ago, so we have bitten the bullet. Normally, we go away with someone else (family or friends) and inevitably someone plans my holidays for me, and I just nod and sign the cheques.

I don't have a rucksack....can't say I've ever considered leaving. DH, on the other hand, probably has a suitcase packed.

Crepeys, I'm suffering from the classic crepey malaise of feeling unfulfilled and underachieving career-wise. These thoughts, as ever, have been prompted by recent promotions, new jobs and various other successes achieved by my siblings (all thoroughly deserved, may I add). DM said, rather thoughtlessly, "well, who'd have thought it? The one who flunked his A levels and kicked around aimlessly for years is now a VP and owns six houses! Whereas you...." I rather tartly told her that success isn't always measured in financial terms, and that I'm sure DB envied my work-life balance and stress-free life.....but it still hit home. I am going to have a long think about what I want to do. I may end up changing nothing, but I need to deal with my current feelings of general dissatisfaction.

CV, I think that's what finally galvanised me into writing. Though am suddenly wiped and am going to have a Nap. I did have a beer at lunchtime. And am daubing various colours on our living room walls, all of which DP is sniffy about.

CV, I think that's what finally galvanised me into writing. Though am suddenly wiped and am going to have a Nap. I did have a beer at lunchtime. And am daubing various colours on our living room walls, all of which DP is sniffy about.

CV, I am sorry you feel dissatisfied with your career (and I have no idea what it is, by the way), but you certainly don't come across as anything other than a dynamic woman. It's probably a good idea to do some reflection on what you want to achieve, but don't downplay what you do. Oh, and we have been to California and the SW USA many times, so please feel free to ask if you think I can help in any way. We had a wonderful stay in Santa Monica one year, and then drove up the PCH to San Francisco. We have been down to San Diego, and then had two holidays in northern CA. I am, however, after seeing the photos of Washington on the TV, thinking we should also have another visit there.

Rose, glad to hear that you enjoyed your birthday, but sad that you didn't feel cherished or appreciated.

MI, good luck with your trip to Norfolk. I am also taken aback to hear of DM talking about dinner parties.

Hang in there, Stropps, that sounds very encouraging re DD, if not so much about 1950 attitudes.

The only time I have ever thought about leaving DH (and only idly, iyswim) was after he retired, now we mostly get along ok, although I do shout sometimes.

That was a much interrupted bit of writing: BD, sorry to hear DM is in a lot of pain. Strength and hugs to you and your family.

It was people to dinner and I think they were bringing food. And she has also found a Little Woman (from Sri Lanka) who cooks.

CV - what did you want to do when you were younger? What did you do when you were younger, career-wise? Why did you change track, and what would you like to do now? What are you good at?

I'd certainly agree that success isn't measured in financial terms (although I think our parents' generation probably measure it so) - how would you measure success for you? My bar for success from my parents was probably a lot lower than yours - my mother worked in a chicken factory when I was a child, and she wanted me to be a shorthand typist, as, if you were in an office, that was better than being in a factory. None of my family had been to university, so this was never really considered, apart from a potential boast to the neighbours and the family (my mother had Hyacinth Bucket tendencies), and when she found it was going to cost her money, it was never going to happen. Although now, her biggest criticism of me is that I worked while the children were small, and I should have married someone who earned enough to enable me to do so. I don't think you can win with parents, actually!

My parents always said that for a girl to do anything like law or medicine was a waste as the girl would just end up getting married and have children & that was the end of her working life! Being a teacher was about the best one could aspire to.

NUF - I'm with you on the shock of retirement, but now we have things worked out.

I have had a very boring day, but now have a clean house.

I have drinks & chat lined up at 6pm (sharp!) with a dear friend who lives a long way from me. We have telephone 'n' gin evenings a couple of times a month! I hate it when someone just rings randomly for a chat but this is a real treat.

Oh no, not you as well CV! How do parents manage to make their DC feel bad about what they have achieved/are doing as a job. I have to say that DH and I can't accuse our parents of that - perhaps that is why we are both content with our working lives.

MI, that sounds like a plan. Good Luck.

Rose, glad you have had some birthday treats - good to know you are appreciated.

Magi, that sounds like a fab idea! My BFF and I text each other a lot, but it is difficult to set aside the time to link up like that. However, I will have a night at hers when I go up north next weekend. And a night at my second BFF's and a meal out with one of my oldest and dearest friends from secondary school. It is giving me something to look forward to as I try to ride out this very difficult time. Hopefully the business with DD will be sorted this week at least. I pray.

Best of luck with the dd business, BTM. Thinking of you.

Some of our marital shouting is to do with co-parenting ishoos. I don't post about it, but am mentioning it now in solidarity.

I'm not sure that education ever is wasted, but I do look at my friends who are married to rich men and think they have wasted their brains. I have two friends who have never really worked - one temped for a bit post uni, and gave up work when she got married and the other faffed about with a Master's that she didn't complete and has never actually had a job. A third gave up work when she had kids - the kids are all now in their teens. They struggle financially, and her DH is desperate for her to go back to work, to take some of the pressure off him (he is in constant fear of being made redundant), but she refuses point blank, as she "wants to be there for the children when they get in from school" - they are 17, 15 and 13 now. But they probably pity me for still working - in fact, I know one of them does, as she says rather pityingly, that she has a "lovely life, compared to me."

If I had married one of the two men my mother wanted me to, I would not have been able to have had the career I have had. Maybe I'd have done something else instead, but I suspect I'd have ended up supporting them, as their wives do. (I'm still friends with both of them and we meet up for a drink from time to time.)

My parents think that anyone who isn't an academic has wasted their lives. And that any woman who weighs more than seven stone and is not extremely beautiful (beauty, of course, to be interpreted in an exclusively south East Asian manner) is grotesque.

I am only just exaggerating. I have also judged myself (not other people) against this standard for most of my life.

Mrs S - it's interesting to speculate the way our lives might have gone but agree that education is never wasted.

Magi - love the idea of telephone gin evenings - I also love to catch up with people but always feel I have to feel "up and perky" when they call so by appointment works better.

We have had a very nice lazy day, reading the papers etc. Now getting ready for the mammoth Sunday nights viewing - starting with the giant dinosaur and David Attenborough..

NU - yes, I saw the US travel article, thanks. I have been there a few times, but never with the DCs, so we are all busily researching!

MrsS - I never had a clue what I wanted to be when I was younger, but with a glittering school career and an Oxford degree there was always an "expectation" that I'd be successful. I worked in supply chain management for a few years, until I had the DCs, whereupon I fell off the career ladder. I found a local job, I work school hours, virtually next door to the school; the job itself is right up my street (basically it's business support/office management/PA, organising things and making stuff happen - this is what I'm good at), but it doesn't stretch me at all, and there is zero opportunity for progression within the company. In fact, my job is as comfortable/convenient for my boss as it is for me - he would be quite content to leave me to do what I do until I retire. Which is exactly what will happen unless I kick myself up the arse and go and look for something better! This time next year, DS will be driving, and the whole school run problem will be a non-issue (it's very difficult for the DCs to get home by public transport).

I suppose I just want more......money, status, success.......the usual. I could do a lot more if I wasn't so lazy and content to stay in my little backwater. And I think it's now or never.

CV - is there anything that you think you would like to do now? Don't diss your local job - there will be loads of skills you can bring to whatever you decide to do next, you just need to transfer them to your CV in such a way as they look "portable". I once hired someone who had worked in the music business to work on some high level visits - I figured that if she could deal with music divas, she could cope with royalty/ministers/VIPs. Look at local government - pays very well (far more than civil service - I just saw a job advertised that I thought I could probably manage to do, which paid about £80K), and they need people with good organisational skills. And you will make good contacts, which can push you on your way to your next job. You've probably got another 20 years of work ahead of you, if you want it.

BD I'm so sorry DM is in so much pain. I'm afraid I'd be bullying the medical staff to get the pain relief at the right level. We massively had to stand our ground with DDad. Eventually they sorted it with extra top ups of oromorph in addition to the morphine patch. Is DM in NPH?

CV you're younger than me. I retrained in my 40's. There were at least two women in my tutorial group who were Oxbridge graduates and both had doctorates. But they also had a young family and were looking for something professional that they could fit around it all and increase the hours as the DC got more independent. What do you love doing? Are there any courses around that could develop that? In all honesy I actually worked more when mine were small. Teens...well we're back with toddler demands but grown up problems. I feel I need to be here when they get home, silly as it sounds. When I'm teaching in the house and they're upstairs it's kind of ok though....

Nice cream tea at the Wolsley. Feeling bloated and cakey. And now for my evening of mammoth viewing starting with Call The Midwife and followed by Deutschland 83.

Rose yes NPH and she has a great nurse and they are being fab, but it must be bad because my mum is a tough one. Crying for her mum tonight. I think we are on the end game.

Oh BD. That's heartbreaking.