All I Want For Crepemas Is Youth

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Phew

Bloody nightmare, BTM. All I can say is: it does change, and it does get better.

Well that's what I'm hoping Molly - it's probably going to get worse first though!

Stropps, how did it go today? It was your first day?

Oh BTM, how hard for you, especially if she is resistant to more help.

On a boring, practical note, I was looking at socket adaptors with eg three sockets, each with own switch, and one of the reviewers said his elderly mother found it much easier. If the device plugs were all labelled but could stay in place all the time might that help?

Rose, good news.

I want to know what Stroppdog said at the staff meeting!

That sounds a good idea Lalsy - do you have a link?

Herbs glad it went well! Stropps hope all is okay!

Here a glorious 18 degrees and blue skies.... I think Dp got a a touch of sun! We spent the day on the most gorgeous beach. Back to Malta tomorrow early for two days packing in as much as we can then home....

I think I must be pre-menstrual..... Lalsy's socket support is making me whimpery and wet-eyed.

Think it was something like this but not this. You may need to be on the spot to choose the best one - there are oodles of them!

BTM - very upsetting and stressful re DM.

Here wore big jumper to the dentist thinking it was cold outside and came out well overheated and looking like a tomato. Have had nurofen for the accompanying headache. Such an exciting afternoon!

DD has gone off to her exams calmly, DH remembered our anniversary and DM has a carer with her chatting over tea.

I'm wfh, then taking Mum out. Need to execute my power of attorney as she's forgotten how to write a cheque and can't remember whether she's paid for things or not. I'm concentrating on giving her favourite foods, which are an amazingly effective trigger for memories of her younger days. She couldn't read the book I gave her for Christmas, so that's another great pleasure lost. But she can still re-read familiar stuff & seems to enjoy it.

Sorry that was a post I started this morning and forgot. Will now read thread and catch up.

Does anyone have recommendations of a DVD DD2 and I can veg out with on Saturday night, while DP is off doing TMATDNSPIN and DD1 is at a sleepover? I wanted Bill, but it’s not out on DVD yet. She wants Big Hero 6…

BTM one of the difficulties I've had with DM's memory loss is my own slowness to realise how it was progressing. With hindsight, I was still trying to explain things to her (like how to use her hearing aids for the radio) long after she'd lost the ability to learn new things. I would write things out clearly for her in large print (like how to read a text on her mobile) but she'd forget to look at the cards and bring the phone to me, saying it wasn't working.

So, I suspect Lalsy is right: the things your DM will be able to do are things that work the same way as they always have done. If something is difficult, or requires more than one step, Mum's default is to assume it's broken.

Also, my DM resists help because she genuinely forgets that she can't do things. I explain why it's a good idea, she understands and agrees, then forgets all about it & the next time I offer her a lift or arrange a carer visit I'm accused of turning her into an invalid. And repeat.

DM is accepting the visits much more now she's met a couple of friendly carers. Daily visits would probably be easier for her than twice a week, as they'd become familiar and she'd be more likely to remember that they're coming. Might that be true for your DM?

That's really helpful and true for my DM too, Auriga. I'm not sure whether she would "want" daily visits - she doesn't forget they are coming and resents that they don't come till 10 or 11, after they have seen to other people who need getting up, etc. But we are thinking of upping it to 3 days a week. I'm not sure she will be too happy - she needs to realise that she could do with the help, IYSWIM, which probably wouldn't be till there was an emergency!

WAF .

BTM, a family member used those small revision cards and sticky labels stuck onto things round the house, as well. More and more of them appeared gradually, so not too much of a jolt all at once IYSWIM. From what I saw, Auriga is absolutely right about new tricks. Is there any way of getting her more help/conversation/checks through the back door as it were - a sensible, chatty cleaner for example?

BTM, sorry to hear about the problems with DM. Lalsy and Auriga have given some good advice (this is something I have no experience of), so I hope that helps. The only thing I do know is that it's incredibly difficult dealing with this from a distance.

It's still raining and our river has burst its banks, fortunately as far as I know not affecting anyone's home. All I know is that it is forecast to rain for about another 24 hours.

Well, the current carers are coming to do "cleaning" already. However, she has stuff everywhere and watches their every move so they don't move it! I am thinking to maybe try a different care agency who supposedly have more, erm, crepey carers but I'm not sure quite how/what to do, and we can only meet when I go up at the end of Jan If she continues to have difficulties that she can't sort herself, then maybe she will be more open to the idea of having carers more regularly?
Re the cards, I guess I could try that. She makes notes about things a lot still to try to help her memory. We gave her a little note about using the remote/TV channels, so I will see if she is/can use it when I go up again.

NU glad you and your neighbours aren't being washed away.

Gosh you have all been busy while I've been at work flirting.

MI - re dvd, go retro with Ferris Bueller.

Rose, nothing drives me madder than people not turning up when dinner is on the table - the disappearing off to the loo, the faffing in the bedroom, the "just a minute...". I get positively stabby.

BTM, so sorry about your DM. That must be tough. Fortunately, the only thing my mother suffers from is passive aggressiveness. Oh and being totally self absorbed.

Also want to know how Stropps' first day went, with Stroppdog!

DH was supposed to take DD1 back to school tonight, but he is too ill to drive. So instead of a lovely evening on my own, I have The Dying Swan With Manflu and I Don't Want To Go Back To School Wah Wah Wah.

MrsS, DD1 has a friend round (lovely girl, btw) and the house is full of girlish laughter. Joyous and carefree. It is driving me bonkers as I type up reader letters. And a poem about budgies. Yes.

Magimedi, sorry I didn't get back to you about the Arthur Ransome books. Mine are all 1970s paperbacks, I'm afraid, so won't do for your collection.

I only got back from work after 7, so am knackered. I got virtually no sleep last night, as dd was up all night. She was doing revision for her mocks - which were today and tomorrow - and then freaked out. I spoke to her at 12.30am, again around 2am and then at 3am. I think I went to sleep about 5am. She was apparently still up at 6am according to ds. She then went to bed and said she wasn't going into school because she didn't know anything and was too tired. I, otoh, had to drive an hour to get to new work. Splendid.

Anyway, I notified dd's school of what had happened and left it at that. I have no idea what they're going to do about it and am not sure I care just now. Am not even planning on having a conversation about it with dd this evening. She is still in bed. Whatevs.

Didn't take Stroppdog to work, as I know really that he's not a school dog and will require constant supervision. Luckily, I don't have to do full staff meetings, just departmental ones, but I will only take Stroppdog in if there is some kind of emergency dog care situation and he can stay in my line manager's office. She has dog bowls and everything. :)

I am not teaching until Thurs, so it's (unpaid) meetings-admin-and-setting-up time today and tomorrow. Love my boss. Let me think: how often have I ever said that before? Um, never. Also all other people in the department seem very nice. However, the school IT system appears stuck in the last century. It is truly dreadful. One of the computers in our department took 20 minutes to boot up and they are all running on an ancient operating system. Although the IT man is very nice and I feel very sorry for him, as he is having to deal with a system that is not of his making and really requires an archaeologist rather than an IT specialist.

Slightly wished I didn't have to come home today, but then I found that dh had used his cookbook and made a very nice supper when I got back. And had remembered to take ds to his piano lesson. Except that he was a week early. But nice piano teacher gave ds a lesson anyway.

I'm off to bed with some planning.

BTM, I am so sorry to hear about the stress with dm. So worrying and so little you can really do at this distance if the carers can't sort things out a bit better.

I hope you have a better night's sleep tonight, Stropps. And good to hear that DH is stepping up to the plate re DS and cooking. Your school does sound cosy (not sure if that's the right term), but I think to some extent you can work round antiquated IT as long as the staff are nice.

Here we have moved forward and DH has ordered curtain samples from JL (with a little guidance from me, of course).

Stropps, bon courage. You are amazing.

You really are, Stropps. The people sound great.

And totally right approach to DD today.

Glad to hear it went well, Strops.

Here we are getting to grips with planning our summer holiday. We promised the DCs a trip to the US; we have California dreams, but a Blackpool budget.