Am I fighting a losing battle with grooming whilst children are young?

[teacher1984]

I just can't keep it up no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I try to get organised, it seems impossible to fit it in and build a routine.

I know there are threads like this from time to time so posting something similar is probably pointless but I really really needed to vent this evening.

It's 8pm and I have just sat down. This evening I still have to unload the dishwasher & reload with what's lying about, wipe my worktops, hang up a load of wet washing, fold & put away some towels and order a couple of household things online.

I really need to wash my hair, dry and straighten (impossible to achieve this in the morning as doing so would wake my kid) so I look ok for school run tomorrow on top of all the jobs above.

I really just want to sit down & read mumsnet & zone out.

I haven't shaved in weeks, my hands and feet are a mess. I've cancelled 2 hair appointments now so hair looks awful.

I did make it to a HD brows appointment this week but I'd previously cancelled that twice.

I used to look good!

I have a new baby arriving in the spring and really really want to build a routine now that I can hope to maintain with a newborn.

If you have preschoolers and still look reasonable please please tell me how you do it? From 7am - 9pm every day my life is kids, housework, cooking, house admin. How do I fit myself into that?

I try so hard and never succeed!

If you're bothered by your clothes, head to a second hand shop and see what you can find by way of decent jeans and tops that fit, and will do you while your size is in transition. As you drop sizes you can still wear clothes that fit for a reasonable price, without always dressing from supermarkets. Or get some decent leggings and tops (second hand) that go with them. They look ok with boots in winter and they are comfy for around the house.

Forget about blow drying unruly hair. If it's curly, wash it with conditioner only, leave some in, and let it air dry. If straight, get a cut that won't require blow drying and ask the hairdresser for recommendations for products that will help tame it.

I would investigate Relate to deal with the issue you are having with your DH. I really would.

If you buy second hand clothes you can donate them back when they are too big for you..

Perhaps you need a better hairdryer? I was going to get my hair cut shorter but a hairdresser friend saw how crap old my hairdryer was and suggested a new one would cut drying time.

I still wash and blow dry my hair everyday, I have 4DC's under 8 so I have a sort of time table that I have to go by in the morning to get everything done so that we can be out of the door in time for school, if I need to I sit them at the table all at the same time for breakfast and blow dry my hair then (mirror in the dining room), this gets a whole lot easier when they can eat breakfast unaided.

The other best bit of advice that I was every given when DC1 was a baby was to buy a cot mobile that plays a tune long enough for you to have a shower. This was one of the best items that I ever bought, you can be in and out of the shower before the tune stops. I also wonder if this has also meant that the DC's have become sort of used to my routine.

I also epliate everywhere so that I don't have to worry about having time to shave, never miss a cut and colour and luckily don't seem to nee too much make up. I have also discovered that you are only meant to put flexitol on your heels, I have been putting all over my feet and my feet looked really good all summer with very little effort (might be helpful when your feet are hard to reach).

I try and keep the house work to a minimum, I did the Marie kondo book a year ago, the house has take much less effort to look after since. I also shop for food online to save even more time. Jobs get done during the afternoon nap time or after they have gone to bed and before DH gets home.

In some respects though you do have to lower your standards and make your choices, valeting the car is not even on my radar now (my poor car) and certain other jobs that used to get done, or jobs that freinds consider essential just don't get done (polishing shoes and ironing are a couple of examples).

This thread was also a big help. I read it when I had 3DC's, 5 is not a large family as such but the tips really worked.

You cannot give into the losing battle IMO, 3 DC's can be all consuming, you need to keep hold of the things that make you you!