How to still look good when sleep deprived

[Poppybella2015]

I used to get told I was attractive pre children, I was a slim size 6, long blonde hair, perfect make up, dressed smart. Now I am a size 12 which looks dumpy on my 5 foot 2 inch frame, I am pale have cellulite stretch marks c section overhang, my hair started falling out after dc 2 so I've had it cut to shoulder length and just have a few highlights instead of full head blonde, it looks very thin and greasy and dull. I never have time for make up, I don't look after my skin anymore it's so dry. I don't style my hair I tie it back in a pony tail that looks greasy. I have not had a full nights sleep for 6 years which makes me too knackered to even shower most mornings, too tired to clean my teeth before bed. So I have gone from being immaculate and slim to being dumpy with a lack of personal hygiene. I keep trying to make an effort as I feel depressed with the way I look but I keep failing as I'm too tired. I just eat biscuits all day to keep me awake :( is there any hope? Where do I start?

I was low on Vit D and felt so much better after supplements.

I also have a crap sleeper, so I feel your pain. Could you check into a cheap hotel one evening to get a full nights sleep while your DH does the night wakings? I've done that a few times over the years when it's all become too much and it really helps.

I've had multiple night-wakings for 3.5 years and done them all myself, but I don't have the level of can't-be-arsedness and lack of interest in personal care that you describe. I did have that, however, when I was clinically depressed. I'd go to the GP, OP.

Many people don't realise they have depression, often extreme tiredness is the only thing they first notice. Not meaning to scare you poppy but it is worth thinking about. I have depression and anxiety and as I'm a lot better now than I was before, I don't have many psychological symptoms of depression anymore (like negative thinking or anything really awful like suicidal thoughts), but the exhaustion is just unbelievable, and sounds like what you are describing. BUT I don't have any other reason to be that tired, whereas you kind of do with your poor sleep because of the little ones so, I don't know. Shrug.

TwllBach Exfoliation is supposed to remove like all the dead skin on the top layer of your skin, which helps it to be softer/healthier/prevent in-grown hairs. I can definitely feel my skin is softer afterwards and I can also notice the difference in in-grown hairs if I don't do it (as I epilate my calves). There are various things you can use, I use an exfoliating glove, it's a glove that is like rough so it helps remove the dead skin, I use that with an exfoliating soap, which again is like rougher than a normal soap for washing. Hope that helps :)

Wow maybe I do have depression? I have sometimes wondered if I have some kind of hormonal depression as I had to come off the contraceptive pill many years ago as it made me depressed, I also suffered terrible depression while pregnant, and the week before my period I feel like I hate everybody and want to move away?

It's possible, I do night wakings with both of mine but still always manage to clean my teeth and shower. I don't feel right otherwise. Even if it means my youngest sits on the bathroom floor and plays with the bath toys whilst I have a quick shower.

I just feel like I haven't got the motivation to do anything :(

You're depressed, I think, OP.

Maybe make an appointment to see. A doctor.

I think so too, have you got a nice health visitor you can talk to or go see your GP. This seems to go beyond just being tired.

Op, please go to you GP and explain this. As someone who has suffered from from and been treated for depression, I could have written all of your posts.

I once went 6 days without showering. I can now look back and see how bad that I got.

Going to a GP was the first huge step that I did. Not being able to sleep is such a marker, and I too had a non sleeping toddler.

After that, it has taken time and a lot of pain, but things can and do get better.

Little, tiny steps. Do one thing, don't try to fix everything at once.

Each small step is a huge step.

Good HCP know this and are there to help.

Google I had a black dog, his name was depression. took me a while to get up the courage to watch it as I was in denial, but it made me realize I was not alone. And actually, that a I was quite normal.

I'll never be the size 6 glamourpuss I was, but fuck it - I can blame it on the child, not the fact that I am 40 :)

Good luc

Since dd2 was born I just thought I was tired. But doing the housework feels overwhelming, even playing with the kids feels too much like hard work these days. I was so energetic when dd1 was small even though she didn't sleep, but with dd2 I have no energy, I blamed it on having two. Also I felt since dd1 started school the school run was making me more tired as there is never any chance of catching up on sleep. If I have a nap while dd1 is at school I do feel much better. And if I ever get a good nights sleep I am like a different person with loads of energy and enthusiasm (this has only happened about 4 times since dd2 has been born). Could it really be depression?

Really OP I think you need to discuss with your GP about possible depression. Being shattered and lacking energy to shower is one thing, but you would expect that you should just do it. If you really don't have the motivation I think this is more than just exhaustion (although it won't help of course).

I remember reading this last year, and wondering if this was what I was feeling. it probably is, fingers in ears, crack open another pack of biscuits

Definitely speak to your GP about how your feeling and get a set of bloods done.

My mood was hugely effected by being chronically sleep deprived and I had PND due to sleep dep and a lack of support. Once DH stepped up and did more of the nights and house/childcare, I felt a million times better.

It's so hard to function and get the motivation to do anything when you've been repeatedly woken up numerous times a night for years on end.

Both dds were asleep by 7.45 today which is rare! I've managed shower Hair wash and blow dry, teeth and cleanse tone and moisturise. I'm feeling pleased with myself!

OP good! Now make sure that you get yourself to bed and try to get a good few hours sleep in before the first wake.

Good for you! Hope you got a bit of sleep too!

Poppy - I work full time (mostly from home) and have two DCs. I have to say I have to make an effort but I'm absolutely exhausted as my DD2 has just gone into her toddler bed and has co-slept with me since she was born nearly 3 years ago. I feel your pain, as I feel quite low today - and reckon it must be lack of sleep. The only reason I get up is because I've got paid work to do - but even then it's a huge effort.

I took the NHS test for depression this morning and I came out with a low score that said unlikely to be suffering from depression. I'm not sure how accurate these things are. I got 8 hours of broken sleep last night, but for the first time in ages I had a 1 hour nap today while my toddler napped and I feel human! I've managed to get some batch cooking done at the same time as making dinner tonight and that NEVER happens lol

Hi OP, just thought I would come out of hiding to tell you I feel exactly the same! I have 2.5 year old & 4 month old. I can't remember the last time I slept through the night. I feel like I am failing at everything as I do everything half heartedly, or not at all. I keep telling myself it will pass & I am working on planning for it in the meantime (thinking about work I would like to do, exercise I want to get in to, style I want to have etc).
Anyway, well done on the bits you have achieved over the last few days - you're doing great!

Thank you lostsoulsforever

I managed to set my alarm 30 minutes earlier this morning and teeth, cleanse, tone, moisturise, makeup, brush hair and ion my clothes. I look a vast improvement! It was very hard to loose that 30 minutes of sleep though I'm not sure I could do it after a hard night! Last night I only had 5 wakings so not as bad as some nights.

Although I am planning on going back to bed when my toddler naps today so maybe the makeup was a waste of time! It felt so good having a nap yesterday I have decided to do it every day Monday to Friday while toddler naps.

Low carb really works. Or at least, lower carb.

Just cutting out bread and pasta makes a huge difference.

Replace those with lentils / chickpeas and veg.

You might wanna check out BIWI's low carb boot camp - in the low carb section. It really works!

Well done, also does your 2,5 year old nap in the day? If so cut the naps and up the DCs exercise, I make my DD who is walk at least a mile every afternoon and it really helps with sleep.

Also I had awful depression but I find a strict routine for everyone gives us more free time to relax.

In terms of food we always have leftovers or soup for next day's lunch.

I wouldn't cut toddlers nap! He's only 2. Mine napped until school age

However I would up afternoon excerise and activity for both children. Try and get walking home, detouring via parks etc. now it's darker can you try and take them swimming a few evenings a week. 4.30pm swim for a while should wear them out more. Can you add a trampoline in garden and fairy lights? Trampoline in the dark with xmassy lights is fun!

Also no TV for children 3 hrs before bed. So if you want in bed by 8pm, nothing after 5pm. A) it's stimulates them awake b) they get more tired doing mentally physical stuff like games/ puzzles/ construction toys/ books. It's like how a hard day learning tires you out at school, same at home.