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Original poster

How to still look good when sleep deprived

174 replies

Poppybella2015 · 26/11/2015 20:15

I used to get told I was attractive pre children, I was a slim size 6, long blonde hair, perfect make up, dressed smart. Now I am a size 12 which looks dumpy on my 5 foot 2 inch frame, I am pale have cellulite stretch marks c section overhang, my hair started falling out after dc 2 so I've had it cut to shoulder length and just have a few highlights instead of full head blonde, it looks very thin and greasy and dull. I never have time for make up, I don't look after my skin anymore it's so dry. I don't style my hair I tie it back in a pony tail that looks greasy. I have not had a full nights sleep for 6 years which makes me too knackered to even shower most mornings, too tired to clean my teeth before bed. So I have gone from being immaculate and slim to being dumpy with a lack of personal hygiene. I keep trying to make an effort as I feel depressed with the way I look but I keep failing as I'm too tired. I just eat biscuits all day to keep me awake :( is there any hope? Where do I start?

OP posts:
Littleonesaid · 27/11/2015 17:16

Place marking as this thread has struck a chord.

Nyancat · 27/11/2015 19:38

This is me too. Dd is 3 and ds 11 months. I have a really bad habit of bingeing when they are in bed at night. Mostly on biscuits and chocolate, I'm trying to break the habit by sticking to a large mug of options hot chocolate, I know the fake sugar isn't great but I can make it last a bit because it's like molten lava! And just trying to break the habit of eating. Feel like I'm not depriving myself. I've bought a sensationail kit to make that feel a bit more groomed and need to get cracking on everything else.

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 20:35

It's so hard isn't it. I've got a night out in two weeks, the first one in 3 years, and the first thing I thought was oh god how am I even going look presentable, I've totally lost my way :( I will need thick tights to hide the pale flabby legs and feet with awful dry skin. And need to hope I can find a dress that doesn't make me look pregnant.

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Jibberjabberjooo · 27/11/2015 20:38

I hear you. I went to a posh night out with dh's work and all I saw on the photos was me looking fat. I have no idea how to dress myself anymore as nothing suits me now.

I lost all my baby weight after my first, it's all stayed with my second.

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 20:44

Same here, after my first I still looked nice. I went from a 6 to an 8! I still had time for hair appointments while she napped and we didn't have to rush to leave the house in the mornings so I would shower and do make up and blow dry hair. The only thing that suffered were my hands and feet, I had no time for home manicures and pedicures so my feet got really dry and my hands too and my nails just got cut short with scissors. But after dc 2 everything has suffered! I don't even look like the same person!

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Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 20:47

I don't know how I'm going to feel comftable on this night out. I think the hair is the worse. I used to have long blonde hair I could hide behind, now it's shoulder length and mousy due to me having a mad moment and getting it cut to try and make the postpantrum thinning dry hair look better!

OP posts:
Lilipot15 · 27/11/2015 20:52

I'm sorry I haven't had time yet to read the full thread, but really, with kids of that age, even though you are not getting good sleep, showering and cleaning teeth should be part of a basic self care routine for you.
You have to set an example to your children for a start.

I worked long hours including night shifts for years and without a doubt after a nightshift a 2 min shower (tie hair up, use dry shampoo) to freshen up made me feel so much better before bed.

Are you depressed that you aren't managing to brush teeth or shower? I'm sorry to sound so critical, but it is worth thinking about.

Jibberjabberjooo · 27/11/2015 20:53

The only thing that helps is knowing that is not just me. Thank god you started this thread!

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 20:55

jibberjabberjoo I wasn't expecting so many replies of people feeling the same! I'm really glad I started the thread I don't feel so alone now!

OP posts:
Lilipot15 · 27/11/2015 20:58

I think someone else has said this but I have just seen your list of changes - too ambitious I'm afraid.
Start small. It will get better.

Artandco · 27/11/2015 20:59

Things are quick though. I mean what are you doing right now? If you sitting in front of TV you can sit and do nails or put hand cream on at same time

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 20:59

lilipot15 sometimes I do wonder if I'm depressed as surely it shouldn't be so hard to clean teeth and have a 2 min shower before bed, but it feels like a huge effort and I just crawl into bed instead. Then after about 3 days like this I panick that I smell and have a shower. I do always brush my teeth in the mornings, it's just the night I struggle with. I don't wash in the mornings though I'm afraid to say. God I sound gross :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 21:00

At the moment I've just got my 2 year old to sleep so I'm just going to collapse on the sofa

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BearFoxBear · 27/11/2015 21:01

I'm only slightly sleep deprived now with a 17 month old, but I don't look any worse than I did before I had him and I think I know why. I've even dropped a dress size too.

It's green smoothies. I make up a weeks worth of bags of fruit and veg for the freezer on a Sunday, it takes 10 minutes. In the morning I throw one in the blender with water or coconut milk, some flaxseed, and it's done. I am full of energy and my skin is great - and I'm 40 with a stressful 40 hours a week while working part-time kind of job!

I also drink loads of water and a berroca every day. It's worth a try Smile

WanderingTrolley1 · 27/11/2015 21:03

I binge on crap, too.

I walk 4/5 miles a day, but I'm also 3ish stones overweight, so there's an indication of my poor eating habits.

I have 3 children - 2 under 3, and boy has my appearance gone to shit.

I suffer with depression and identity with some of your words.

Could you be depressed?

WanderingTrolley1 · 27/11/2015 21:04

Identify, I meant.

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 21:09

Maybe I am depressed? It's hard not to be though after 6 years of being woken in the night :( but as well as tiredness I just have no motivation to do anything anymore when it comes to personal care and eating. I just feel so drained

OP posts:
Buttwing · 27/11/2015 21:10

Hi I just posted on your other thread, I totally sympathise I'm a sham to 4dc and I've found it difficult to get my mojo back after having my last two babies (13 months apart) my one year old seems to have given up on sleep and I'm exhausted!

I joined slimming world a year ago and I've lost 3stone 8lbs, I've got just over a stone to go to get me back to my prepregnancy weight. I know it's not for everyone but it have a look on the slimming world support thread (in weightloss section) and see if it's something that might work for you? I like it because I'm greedy and I can eat lots and still lose weight!!Grin

Buttwing · 27/11/2015 21:10

Oh god not a sham (but maybe that's more fitting!) SAHM.

ElphabaTheGreen · 27/11/2015 21:12

One thing OP...how about sorting out your sleep? You were still posting here at nigh-on midnight last night. Go to bed as early as you can after you've done all the jobs you need to do and you might feel a bit better during the day. I'm pretty much never still awake at 9:30 - I'm pretty sure I was gone before 9pm last night. I never watch TV or collapse on the couch - when I collapse, it's into my bed so I can stay there as long as my DCs will let me!

I don't know if the necessity of going to work forces me into the shower every day, but even on the weekends I'm usually showered well before 8am. If I don't do it before then I'd probably never get it done as I'd lose the momentum. My showers are also rarely longer than two or three minutes so maybe aim to squeeze one in before a certain time each day?

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 21:12

I will have a look at slimming world, thank you. That's an amazing weight loss well done!

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 21:15

I am up late a couple of nights a week as my dh works nights but has a couple of nights off a week so I stay up late on those nights or we would never see each other. I pay for it the next day though as I feel exhausted!

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 27/11/2015 21:17

Yes I think I need to have a shower the second I wake up but usually the 2 year old wakes up at the same time so I put it off. I need to stop doing this though and get in even if it means the 2 year old might wake the 5 year old. Sigh.

OP posts:
Artandco · 27/11/2015 21:17

I agree

For the next week try getting ready for bed soon as kids asleep

So 9pm both kids asleep
9-9.30pm take a quick shower, teeth, hand cream, face cream
9.30pm in bed with book
10pm lights out

Do until you feel more refreshed. Then can move back half hour at a time until you adapt

Artandco · 27/11/2015 21:18

Put as all basket of toys in bathroom. Take 2 year old in with you and they can play 5 mins whilst you shower