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How much do you trust the mirror vs a photo of yourself?

84 replies

Fuzzballs · 26/11/2015 12:01

I know this sounds a bit silly but it's making me lose all confidence in how I look.
I look at myself in the mirror and whilst I don't see a supermodel looking back at me, I think I look ok, sometimes I am very happy with the way I look. Then I see a photo of myself and I see awful flat hair in a colour and style that doesn't suit me and makes me look old, I see someone two dress sizes bigger than I see in the mirror and someone who doesn't look good in their clothes, nothing flattering at all.
Why is this? I guess the camera doesn't lie so it this a case of me only liking the image I see of myself in the mirror from the front, and other angles look awful? It's upsetting me because other people must see me as I look in photos and all I see In those pictures is an ugly person. I know there is more to life than looks and I can accept how I look if only I didn't keep getting these upsetting surprises, why do I look so different in photos to in the mirror??

OP posts:
hazelnutlatte · 26/11/2015 15:27

Does anyone else have a habit of developing a double chin in photos? I'd love to know how to prevent that!

MitzyLeFrouf · 26/11/2015 15:32

If you push your head forward a bit it flattens a good bit of the neck flab.

BrandNewAndImproved · 26/11/2015 15:34

Yes you have to sharpen your jaw up by jutting it out and tensing it.

Katarzyna79 · 26/11/2015 15:40

I think mirrors show up more flaws. Ive noticed mirror in one bathroom i look great in 2nf bathroom not so good its either quality of mirror or light or both.

Myphotos are always perfect i think i am photogenic ive never had a photo make me look awful. If a photo is how ppl really see me they must be blind lol

LuluandtheNightshade · 26/11/2015 15:47

Best thing is a video - eg someone takes you in action on their phone, Then you can see how you really look. Photos are static - we are rarely seen like that! I worry about my neck/chin but I move ar ound a lot and so no-one really sees it! Also important to be conscious of your posture yes to being upright - chest out, stomach in, shoulders back make sure your mouth doesn't droop ( you'll get set in old age lines!_ alimming and flattering. A few exercices to tone flabby muscles will help!

wannanewone · 26/11/2015 16:43

I don`t trust photos. I have a friend who is really pretty, but photos never do her justice. Have another friend who just looks scruffy in real life, but he photographs well.

Narp · 26/11/2015 18:00

I don't know whether to trust photos or not, but for my own confidence, I prefer not to look at any, then I feel just fine.

I am happy with how I look in a mirror, so I don't want that challenged

Narp · 26/11/2015 18:02

What's the worst is when people tell you 'that's a good likeness' or 'that's a lovely photo of you' and you look crap.

I think I've seen about 3 photos of myself 6ever^ that I've like, yet I have pretty good self delusion esteem

Narp · 26/11/2015 18:06

Lulu

But in video you get to see the hideous truth about how you look and sound. At the same time!

PennyPants · 26/11/2015 18:13

I look better in my magic mirror too. Some photos I really like, yet others are deleted instantly!
My mum is really photogenic and never takes bad photos.

GoneAndDone · 26/11/2015 19:16

I think portrait photography is much more relational than we usually think - if you're not comfortable with the photographer, it shows in the photos. Some of my best photos were taken by a friend who is a photographer, and at the end of the outdoor photo session. I was totally relaxed and enjoying talking to her and it shows.

Taking lots of selfies can help too. If you take about 20, there'll be some awful ones but also some that correspond to the person you see in the mirror.

megletthesecond · 26/11/2015 19:24

Lighting makes a big difference. One of my gym classes is held in a room with beautiful lighting and it knocks a decade off all of us.

Floisme · 26/11/2015 20:01

I look a lot older in photographs - my face is much fuller and my jawline is shot to hell.

I think my brain must play tricks when I look in the mirror - I still see myself the way I looked 10 or 15 years ago.

orlakielyimnot · 26/11/2015 21:13

I suffer with this. After getting over the shock I used it to help me choose what colors to wear and what trousers to get rid of. Light tan trousers make me look like I have weird legs, and I should not wear red or orange tops as it sets off my rosacea. Photos also helped me see what the mirror didn't. In the mirror I stand differently and don't look over weight, but I am and photos of me in natural positions shows that to me. Finaly, as I'm not a great beauty I try to avoid looking at photos!

orlakielyimnot · 26/11/2015 21:14

Ooh and oddly when it comes to pics I look best in harsh sunlight. Go figure.

cressetmama · 26/11/2015 21:33

I'm presentable but no beauty, and I shall soon be 60 so the situation is not acute. I just re-use the few really nice pictures I have. Nothing is likely to improve on the picture a wedding photographer snapped a few years ago, so my friends can expect to see it for the next 20 years.

mewkins · 27/11/2015 21:43

I am slim and not photogenic. There is a rare photo where I look ok and usually these are where I am not looking at the camera. I think I look better animated! Surely it's because in life we are rarely still and caught in a pose.

CelestiaLuna · 28/11/2015 10:56

To look better in photos you really need to pose. Put on a fake smile with tongue just behind your top teeth, a real smile will make your eyes crinkle up, good in rl not great in photos. Always look up towards a camera never down and be at slight angle as straight on is never flattering.

Celebs have known these tricks for years and they really do work Smile

MuttonWasAGoose · 28/11/2015 12:01

I have the exact same thing!

Yesterday I took some selfies because I tried a new makeup look. I looked awful! In the mirror I looked great. In the photos, I looked haggard and old, with a long, severe face. Like a drunk Angelica Houston.

I met with a friend for dinner and showed her the photos and asked if I looked like that. She very emphatically said that I looked nothing like that, to the point that she wouldn't recognise me.

lurkingabit · 28/11/2015 13:25

Yy I look in the mirror and see myself 10 or 15 yrs ago. Photos can be holy fuck who is that woman.

Some people are just photogenic. My youngest looks like a supermodel in photos. While she's lovely, she ain't no supermodel irl. And she loves the camera. Maybe it's how some of us tend to tense up in front of a camera.

donajimena · 28/11/2015 13:28

Excuse me for this sounding slightly braggy but I am rather attractive. I'm also very tall. I have lovely cheekbones too. I still turn heads.
In my teens I got spotted by a scout at a modelling agency (think small town not Storm) I was invited for some test shots and I have never entered a building and been asked to leave so quickly. I just don't photograph well at all
My modelling career started and ended within about 30 minutes!
I met my OH online dating. When we met in real life he said 'oh you look so much better in real life' Confused

museumum · 28/11/2015 13:30

I recently had some portrait shots taken for work. The way she had me hold my head felt absolutely ridiculous but the photos are great. In order to look good I had to stick my chin forward and down dramatically. I felt like a bloody pigeon!!!
So if you have photos taken in a natural pose they will not look as good as you could look with coaching.

burnishedsilver · 28/11/2015 13:48

I know the photo is the wrong way round but so is the mirror.

Ive put it down to my not being at all photogenic.

extrastrongblackcoffee · 28/11/2015 14:10

I have this problem too!

I look ok in the mirror (usually) but in photos, especially selfies, I have that, back of a spoon face Confused I do the high and to the side, but nope. I just look terrible. Oh and even in group photos, all I can see are these enormous, round hamster cheeks. I think I look like a care bear! But in the flesh, my cheeks are supposed to be an attractive feature. Weird...... Maybe the photos are telling the truth and the mirrors are lying!! Hmm Oh god!! Confused

Greengardenpixie · 28/11/2015 17:20

I posted a similar thread about a year ago! I hate how i look in photos and look so fat! Yet, when i look at myself in the mirror, i am generally happy with how i look. It is so depressing to the point i avoid a photo of me as it really plays on my mind.