Terrible highlights (again) - any advice?

[badhairallthetime]

New on here so please be patient with me and excuse v long post.

I went to new a salon yesterday and had highlights (and a brazilian blowdry) and I hate it.

I have a bad history with highlights over the past 3 or so years, I can never get the right colour despite trying a few times, at local salons and also at very expensive ‘top’ London salons.

I am nearly 40 so have a fair bit of grey in front and around parting but my natural hair is pretty dark, and cool toned. I have quite pale skin and blue eyes.

I had been having tinting for about a year but was getting fed up with the blocky look of it and also hoped the highlights would visually disguise when the grey roots come in so tried highlights again in July but wasn’t 100% happy with the result.

I went back after a few days and my stylist toned it, which helped a little, but I had to go back a month or so after as it had lifted so much and get a semi to tone it out. Which made it look better, but basically put me back to where I was before – all a bit blocky, a bit too warm, and unnatural looking.

I thought I would try a new salon as although the stylist I had been seeing for a year or so was OK, it was never quite what I wanted. I went for a consultation at new place and he seemed to totally get what I wanted – natural, cooler toned, non-stripy and a little bit lighter. I also decided to have a brazilian treatment as my hair so over processed and thought it would help with the condition, especially as I’m trying to grow it.

And yet again I hate it! I don’t think he has done a bad job technically (although not 100% sure as I am losing all perspective), but it just doesn’t suit me. It’s too light, maybe a bit stripy and just jars with my skin. In addition he seems to have totally ruined my fringe, but that’s another story, so I’m having to clip it to the side until I can wash it after 72 hours and properly assess the damage.

In normal circumstances I would go out and buy a darker semi to tone it all down, but with brazillian treatment on I can’t add any new colour for 7 days- I called the salon just now and asked.

Don’t know what to do next...the salon said I could go back in a week and they’ll tone it down but don’t know if I trust them especially as when as they finished yesterday they were saying how ‘amazing’ it looks. That was a LIE.

Or I could just wait a week and do it myself, right now I am feeling like I am just going to do it all myself in the future rather than shell out £££ for terrible hair.

I don’t understand why other people get highlights and it looks great and mine looks terrible EVERYTIME. Must just be my face! I feel terrible, feel like crying and don’t even want to go out.

Any advice much appreciated!

I think you're probably similar to me - pale and blue eyed. When I first started getting highlights I had a great hairdresser. When she went on maternity leave she told me to ask other hairdressers for the ashiest blonde they do. I'd guess you need similar.

I do my own hair now though but it's all over colour rather than highlights. Would that work for you at all?

Thanks OddSocksHighHeels. It was bleach highlights and then they used an ash toner, in theory should have worked, I don't get why it keeps coming out wrong, I'm confused. Think I'm going to start doing it myself again, with a semi close to my natural colour. Will be a lot of maintenance to cover the grey roots and probably won't look that great but better than having dodgy highlights and no money!

Can u put a pic on? Even if it's just a section - no face!

I have this problem too, never fully happy with my colour, or when I am it becer lasts as my hair is so porus frm years of highlighting. I am going to go bronde with an all over colour next time and then if i feel it is too dark i mught start again with high kights next summer.

I too am fed up with spending hundreds and never be happy

Here is a pic, it's just a section, couldn't bring myself to do a full face! It's also slightly out of focus as I used a filter.

I feel a bit stupid and foolish that I spent so much money on something I'm not happy with, and at the same time also berating myself for being vain...feel like I need to get over myself but can't help it as I cringe everytime I look in the mirror! btw that was a better photo, some I took look even worse. I feel like I don't even look like me :(

I am not seeing it looking bad. It looks fine to me. I think its a lovely colour. If it looked bad i honestly would agree with you.

Thanks Greengardenpixie. I think it's more that the colour doesn't suit my complexion...it just makes me look more pink, and seems to jar. But bit hard to tell without seeing a full face photo I guess.

It looks really nice. I was expecting something dreadful, like the time my friend had her hair canary yellow by a trainee. How I laughed.

I thought it was going to be too grey or too bleached.

I think you're panicking and feeling jarred because it's not your original colour.

But ithout being able to see your whole face it's not really possible to judge the tones against your skin.

I'm not seeing what you're seeing. The highlights are subtle and not stripey. The colour is warm, quite light.

I'm not sure why you hate it?

Is it the warmth?ybhair throws out a lot of red and I hate that. I go for ash/beige not warm tones in my hair.

I think what you want and what you are describing looks like your hair so I'm not sure what you don't like?

I first started having my hair highlighted, when I first started to go grey, and before that I'd [I]never[/I] dyed my hair. I was TERRIFIED. My hairdresser told me I looked like I was on a fair ride. I think new colours take some getting used to.

I went with half head of highlights and tint (ie my own hair colour) brushed over the remaining greys.

But there's definitely nothing massively wrong with yours that has to be corrected asap. Next time you could perhaps try some different colours.

... if you're not happy with it. (sorry prem posted).

I actually like that colour! Were you wanting it lighter?

It's very warm. I think the problem may be that it's quite a 'mousey' brown that would suit you. This is not considered to be an attractive colour by hairdressers so they end up going more caramel.
How light or dark do you want it? It that right and it's just the warmth that's wrong?
I think you need to get really clear with your descriptions, to make them do something they normally don't like to do.
My mum has the same problem, suits a medium cool brown and often comes home orange....

Ah I see you say it's too light.

I think it looks great.

Thanks for the comments. I don't know anymore. Maybe my expectations are too high, maybe I'm too fussy. The colour is looking warm and we specifically discussed making it cooler. My 14 year old DD was brutally honest and said that it just looks wrong. I could have posted a photo that showed it in harsher way but couldn't bring myself too! Put some makeup on earlier thinking that might make me feel/look better but my usual colours looked all wrong too Think I'll just go to sleep now and wake up in, oh maybe 6 months once it's grown out. But thanks anyway for positive comments.

I'm surprised you say the highlights are too light, as they don't seem light at all to me, and there doesn't seem to be a lot of highlights. Looks quite subtle to me.

In the nicest possible way, I have found your description of your hair and what you want a bit confusing - maybe you are giving a confused message to your hairdresser?

Just read your last post. Your problem is you can't really go cooler without going lighter.

Children always think their parents look 'wrong' when something changes.
They like security and sameness.

RoganJosh - Yes, think that's probably it. I want it a little bit lighter than my natural colour, which is quite dark brown but probably 'mousey' - it is quite flat, with some depth and dimension to blend the greys in when the roots start to come through. Also, when it is too warm regrowth looks really odd, as my natural colour plus the greys are very cool, and then it looks really obvious against the warmth of the colour. Seems like I have got exactly what I did the other 3 times I have had it done. I give up. Think I'll stick with a box colour at home for now, Nice n Easy do one called medium cool brown that used to work for me. Don't think I can bear to sit in a hairdressers for a while. I'm just hoping that when I wash it the brazilian treatment was worth it too.

Did you have colour first and then the Brazilian? Could the keratin be making it a different tone or something? I would wait till you can wash and then see how you feel.

And fwiw I think it looks really nice!

My DD very savvy and fashion/beauty aware (wants to work in the industry, has a YT channel already etc) so think it's more honesty than not liking change. She is used to me changing lengths, adding/growing fringe, experimenting (unintentionally) with colour etc so that's nothing new to her.

If your natural colour is quite mousey brown, like mine (which is very ash) then tell your hairdresser you want it closer to your natural colour, perhaps with some very subtle more caramel times.

I think your colour is lovely but if you want it drastically changing, it might be worth investigating an all-over mouse semi-perm colour with lighter highlights.

The colour first and then the brazilian, apparently that's how it's done, all to do with hair cuticles being open or something. It might have affected it I guess. Thanks for positive comments. I'll see if I feel better about it tomorrow. But by the sounds of your comments I do need to get over myself somewhat