I have neglected myself for 17 years!! Help me repair the damage!

[bobblypop]

I am 42. I am 5 stone overweight, and generally have totally neglected myself for about 17 years! I have 6 DC aged 17,15,13,11,9 and 7 and I work almost full time. My self esteem is currently at rock bottom and I want to do something about it.
Basically over the years I have totally neglected myself, my own needs and my appearance. 3 - 4 years ago lost 4 1/2 stone and was much healthier, but I have piled it back on since then. I am planning on tackling this and have already made some changes to what I eat.
However every other aspect of my appearance needs an overhaul too and I don't know where to start!!
I have no clue about clothes. Most of what I own currently is from Asda bought in my lunch hour when nipping in for milk or bread!I cant remember the last time I went clothes shopping for me - tbh the thought fills me with dread. I am going to loose weight but would like a few decent clothes to be going on with.
My beauty routine is non existent. Miraculously my skin has never been too bad and must thrive on neglect!
I have very few bits of makeup - most of it very old, and any decent stuff I bought last year (again in an attempt to improve things!) seem to have been stolen by dd1 vanished. I know nothing really about make up or where to start. At best I can mange a bit of face powder, mascara, eye shadow and blusher and lip gloss.
My hair is a disaster. It is just below shoulder length and wavy/curly ie dry and frizzy most of the time. I have coloured it home for about 20 years and imagine it would possibly be almost totally grey of left to its own devices.

I am going to try and do nicer things for myself on my days off (Monday - sometimes!) Money is tight, but not as bad as it was when I was a SAHM. I can afford a bit if I plan ahead and budget.

so someone...please tell me what to and where to start....I am fed up of looking hassled, dishevelled fat and frumpy and I would like to feel a little bit better about myself.

sorry - posted too soon.
that is why I thought that hairstyle might work. I cant do anything straight as it takes AGES to straighten my hair, and only ever lasts about 5 minutes, over the years I have found I am much better off embracing the curls!!

also re hair care I tend to try to stick to Curly Girl friendly products (ie no sulfates/silicones etc) as my curls definitely respond better to this - although it has more recently gone to pot a bit!
I have however now got some decent shampoo and conditioner so that should help. And I do use a curl creme or similar as that really helps, but generally I think at the moment my hair just needs more tlc!

Will try to add pic of hair. Curls currently not so curly due to poor condition and cause it needs cutting.....

That was after washing and mostly air drying whilst unsorted dc for school but then a blast with hair dryer due to it not being dry when I wanted to leave. If I let fully air dry it is better with better curl definition .......

You're going well! I am eating better and my skin is improving a lot. I use only Cetaphil for moisturizer for body, face etc and everyone says I look younger.

I have found though that foundation is way too 'cakey', but I am ok with BB creams which give me enough coverage to feel evened out, but aren't awful.

The biggest thing I learned that made me look like a human though is bronzer! I use a Make Up Academy multicolur mosaic thing that cost like £2. I do basically look dead without it.

travell I think I have some bronzer somewhere...I must dig it out.

so I have plucked and shaped my eyebrows which now look much better.
and I have filed my nails and have ordered some nail varnish which should arrive today so will do that later.
I also got my new glasses a couple of days ago which I was unsure about it, but I really like them now I've got them .
I am going to make myself go for a run (well walk/run) later with the doglets.
Foundation shopping tomorrow!

You are in the right frame of mind to make changes.

Start small

Think about people whose dress style you admire famous people or friends-write down why you like their style-could you carry it off? Ask people you see wearing nice stuff where it's from- they usually love a compliment and are happy to share.Or cut stuff out of mags just to get a feel for what you like and you think you could carry off.

Get eyebrows threaded to give good shape then maintain them yourself.

Clear nail varnish- colour at weekends -keep toes painted always-always makes me smile when I have funky toes even though rest of me not looking so hot.

Moisturise every night- Garnier is a good mid priced one or try a facial oil- Loreal make a nice one often half price in Boots or Tesco. Aldi Q10 stuff also nice

Cocoa butter body moisturise every night not sure it does much but smells nice and the process is part of the pamper and 'me time'.

Eyeliner inside upper lid neutral colour mascara looks good minimal effort
BB cream if don't think you need foundation just gives a lift.Borrow lippy from your daughters- see what suits before purchasing.

If you have been colouring your hair for years you must be pretty good at it -try a mask twice weekly for condition- Aussie do a sachet that's brill or TKMaxx often have professional one cheap.

Write down what you need wardrobe wise- try to work out when you would wear the clothes and how you could multi task them. For example I buy a couple of pricey dresses every winter but buy my knit wear in Tesco- wear my dresses at work with cardi and boots, to night out with my leather biker jacket and funkier shoes and sometimes wear over skinny jeans for a weekend look-,maybe not best example but think how to best use your wardrobe -you might have stuff already that is ok eg t shirt or sweater that just needs funky scarf or necklace to brighten up.

Take a day shopping and try on everything you fancy.

Lots of water- walk everywhere -lunch time if you can get out of work.

And don't be too hard on yourself

PS Hair is fab.

Your hair looks good IMO

Thanks for the hair compliments! It definitely needs tidying up, and is very dry
Off work today and going to buy foundation! I am already talking myself out of it, (the house is a mess I should be spending my time cleaning etc) seems I actually struggle with the idea of doing nice things for myself........

I have been and bought make up!!
I must say I found the whole experience REALLY stressful. The assistants kept pouncing on me, trying to get me to try stuff on. I felt especially old and fat a frumpy. everyone else browsing was all very glamorous with full make up on. I just wanted to hide
Think I may resort to buying things on line in future. Do people really like shopping for make up??
anyway...going to do my nails now !

Oh no, I hate buying make up too. It gets easier, promise. Once you get what kind of colours will work for you. I don't buy online as unless you know specific brand, item and colour you will waste money.
What did you go for in the end?

well I didn't really end up with what I wanted!! I tried looking at the benefit stand but there were literally 5 assistants all hovering who kept coming up to me and intimidating offering to help me !! Was the same with most of the higher end stands. I had wanted to look at Bobbi Brown stuff as I had heard good things about it, but couldn't find any. I tried the huge MAC stand in debenhams but got too overwhlemed again....so I have ended up with a Rimmel Wake me up foundation - which actually is quite nice now I've tried it!! I also got an Essie nail polish which is also lovely.
Next I need a good concealer for dark circles under eyes. I am currently using an Avon face magix one - but imagine there are better ones out there...
I get paid on Saturday so may venture back to shops on Monday have another mooch!!

nooo! my nail varnish has chipped in less than 24 hours
I did base coat, 2 coats of colour and a top coat.
think I may have to get them done properly somewhere!!