Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

For those of us going grey

730 replies

SilveryFoxyMe · 12/07/2015 14:09

Forgive the name change, but I reckon this post makes me fairly recognisable.

Anyway, last year I posted my dilemma as to whether to continue dyeing my hair or let nature take over and see what was really lurking under there

I bit the bullet after yet another hair dye ending up brassier than I had hoped and not lasting at all, and decided to grow it out.

Eight months on (I do have short hair) it's all gone, and I am almost completely silver, with a few smattering of darker.

At just 47 I appreciate this is not the societal norm, and in some people's eyes has aged me. One friend pretty much commiserated with me and my hairdresser is horrified.

But in the past month I have been for two job interviews, been offered both jobs, and been invited out in a date (long story, I am happily married and he mistakenly thought I was single).

Several people have told me it looks fab, a neighbour came up to me to say I had inspired her to go for it.

My face still looks fairly youthful, I think, but at first glance people might think I am much older. Yet I still got the job offers and the date! More attention that I have had in years! Grin

So if you are swithering, I would heartily recommend it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
119
suzannecanthecan · 15/07/2015 11:22

?
Going grey has become synonymous with not caring about your appearance, letting yourself go.
Obviously the hair dye industry is the primary beneficiary of this rhetoric.

It's tosh, natural hair can look groomed, attractive, fashionable, stylish, flattering ?

Duckdeamon · 15/07/2015 11:48

Yy Suzanne, it is definitely seen as "not making an effort".

And many men/partners do see it negatively, which is a clear double standard since greying men rarely dye their hair. So many women dye that there's a fear that not doing so means others - including partners - will think you're "letting yourself go" and even risking your DH leaving you!

Think I'll feel a lot of pressure from female acquaintances to "make more effort" (time, money, attention) with styling, make-up, clothes, my weight etc.

Older female colleagues at work report a lot of sexism / ageism and many are incredibly well groomed. Quite a lot are grey, good inspiration!

butterfly133 · 15/07/2015 12:08

I posted on S&B a while ago about feeling external pressure. This "letting yourself go" business annoys me. I am not terribly worried about what I look like but when everyone else is - particularly when they are all in the workplace looking a certain very high maintenance way - it becomes something you feel you "have" to do. It is very frustrating.

In terms of pressure from friends, I am dark and had a friend talk to me about "how easy" it would be to colour my hair regularly and even start going blonde in my 60s or something if I wanted to transition to grey at that age. I cannot imagine the faff, hassle and expense of transitioning near black hair into blonde highlights and blah....!

CherryBonBon · 15/07/2015 12:10

In defence of menfolk, my DP has been 100% behind my going grey at 34 (including shaving my head to do it) and thinks I look like a "badass silver fox" Grin .

DrDre · 15/07/2015 12:30

I'm a man and I like grey haired ladies. My wife (early 40s) is going grey and I love it.

butterfly133 · 15/07/2015 12:33

I wasn't even factoring in men to be honest, I think it's women constantly dyeing their hair that has resulted in an idea that grey is for someone in their 60s when it is not the case at all.

Duckdeamon · 15/07/2015 12:39

Grin cherrybonbon. I would quite like to look like a badass silver fox!

That'd take the workplace by storm eh?

ouryve · 15/07/2015 12:44

I think there's something quite nice about greying alongside DH. His hair is Bill Bailey colour, though he has a lot more of it on his head (or did have before he cut it short because he was tired of it in his eyes). He only grew his beard a few years ago and, in that time, it's gone from ginger with a few white hairs to having a quite distinct white patch on it.

MitzyLeFrouf · 15/07/2015 12:47

Grey hair is a having a huge fashion moment. Definitely don't think it's seen as 'letting go' any more.

dancelikenooneiswatching · 15/07/2015 14:50

Lol Suzanne thank you. I can honestly say I have never, ever, been mistaken for a nun!

As far as what men think of grey hair, I have had more compliments about my hair from men in the last year than I ever had when it was dark. I even get complete strangers coming up to me to say how lovely it looks.

And as for looking as though "you've let yourself go", I see plenty of people with dark, red, or blonde hair who look as if they've let themselves go. If you have a good cut, choose clothes colours and jewellery that compliment your new colour, and use make up to suit your colouring you will look stunning, as proved by all the women who have posted photos on here.

I don't wear make up everyday but always make sure I pencil my brows (Lancome pencil in Blonde), its surprising how just doing that can lift the whole face.

suzannecanthecan · 15/07/2015 15:24

just to clarify, I dont think there is anything wrong with deciding that you dont want to focus much on the whole grooming thing (AKA 'let yourself go')

Equally having fun with your appearance, whatever that entails is also fine.

Appearance is such a loaded issue for women though and it's rarely that simple I know.

Agree with Mitzy that the 'status' of greying hair is changing

woodhill · 15/07/2015 15:27

I work with young people and I think being grey/white would make me look older.

also my dm is probably less grey than I am, different hair colour and didn't grey till her 60s.

CainInThePunting · 15/07/2015 16:42

Right! Well, I tried the blue rinse in a small section by my ear and yes, it's a teeny, tiny bit less orange but honestly not so much that anyone else could tell so...Meh.

Tizwailor · 15/07/2015 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floisme · 15/07/2015 18:20

I've just passed a woman on the street with long grey hair. She looked fabulous!

Even the hair dye industry has realised the tide is turning and is now trying to reposition itself with lilac and blue rinses Grin

BestIsWest · 15/07/2015 21:41

I am so tempted! Such lovely photos on this thread. Was talking about doing this earlier today.

Doza · 15/07/2015 22:30

suzanne I have no idea why it bothered her so much! It didn't affect her at all: I'd never exactly Benin part of the trendy crew Grin
Didn't listen and she doesn't mention it now. I do get a fair few "wish I had the courage" comments and I'm trying to spark a wee reveloution!

Autumn2014 · 15/07/2015 22:49

I'd love to do this but all the stylish photos of ladies who have embraced their grey seem to show sleek hair in a bob. Mine is coming in wiry and in short spikey new growth, and has this knack of standing upright on my parting. it's really affecting the condition and feel of my hair. any advice? I'm 36 btw and about 30-40 % grey on my roots, I currently have a long bob.

morethanpotatoprints · 15/07/2015 23:47

I did the purple shampoo followed by the intense conditioner it feels really dirty. I'm not sure I want to do that 2x a week.
Dh said it looked better and less brassy, but think he's hedging his bets .

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 16/07/2015 06:29

So do I Wood, but I care not a jot. I think it's a grat example, especially to young women, that you don't have to confirm to beauty industry norms. You can be yourself and be beautiful.

Marmaladybird · 16/07/2015 08:02

Mine's been going since early teens (I'm only just 39 now). I'm naturally brunette but the stripe was at crisis point a few weeks ago so I had a discussion with my hairdresser after using Colour B4. It took me to ginger which would be fine if I suited it...Hairdresser has now highlighted my hair with bleach. I'm a warm blonde on the top but it blends with my roots (which she didn't touch) almost perfectly (looks a bit like silver and gold together). The underneath is still brown but not as dark as it was. It was starting to look like doll hair, it was that coated in dye. My aim is to get to platinum but I really don't want to damage my fine hair (which is now just past my shoulders - she cut about 4" off). I feel much better about transitioning like this, even though I really miss my brunette. I've never wanted to be blonde but there's no denying it's an easier colour to disguise my stripe.

Listmaker · 16/07/2015 10:55

Marmaladybird that's what I did in the end. The grey parting was getting too much so it was up the colouring frequency to every 4 weeks or try going blond. So I went blond last summer. It's OK and lots of people like it but I've never wanted to be blond and I still had to go every 6 weeks to have roots done or more foils which are way more time consuming and expensive than an all over colour. I just can't be bothered with it all anymore.

I am excited to see my new roots but am also worried about how I'll feel once it's fully grey. It's an adjustment and although I'm not super vain I don't think I do like to look my best and usually get lots of comments that I don't look 51 but once I'm grey I think I will look my age.

I tell myself I can always dye it again but really hope I don't hate it enough to do that!

getdownshep · 16/07/2015 11:49

Aah I'm wavering again as my eldest dd was pretty negative about my hair plans.
I'm getting my hair cut later, no highlight's this time. I'm sure my hairdresser is going to try to put me off as well though.
She's very young and I think the thought of going grey to her is just the final straw plus she losing money so not sure she will be impartial.
My mil and dm both have grey bobs so my hair is fairly short so dh doesn't get confusedGrin

Suddengeekgirl · 16/07/2015 11:53

I'm SO glad I've found other people who are embracing their grey! Here is mine. It's a fairly even silver highlight effect at the minute.

For those of us going grey
Suddengeekgirl · 16/07/2015 11:55

Oh and I'm 34 ad got my first grey 10 years ago! Confused

Any idea how long before I'm properly grey? Confused

Swipe left for the next trending thread