Diet stuff - sort of H&B - wondering if a lot of women are like this? And don't admit it.

[ShakespearesSister01]

Found out this weekend that my cousin has basically been on a strict diet since she was 18. She's now 42. She was a chubby teenager but went away to college and came back slim, as you do when you leave home. In her early 20s she was very skinny, after giving up smoking she filled out a bit in her 30s but after having her first baby last year she's got very slim again. We were at a family 'do this weekend and I commented how good she looked. She does look great considering she doesn't exercise, I exercise and am bigger than her. Anyway she admitted to me she has stuck rigidly to a 1500 calories a day for two decades. She's never slipped up - and she sticks to tiny portions and avoids eating carbs every day. I have to say I was quite shocked, but she doesn't exercise and the rest of her side of the family - my aunt and uncle - are quite stocky. She says it's her genes and she is fighting it all the time. i really felt for her - because I don't think it makes her that happy. She says she is always worrying about what she eats. Is this common among women? I eat what I like - although I am veggie and veer on the vegan, but more for taste than moral reasons. I could never imagine having the time to count calories.

Problem is that women are told 2000 cals a day is "normal" when, in reality, most of us would gain weight on that unless doing lots of exercise.

There is nothing wrong with carbs, if you eat them in moderation, countries like France enjoy carbs and still maintain low obesity rate. Japan is a big rice consumer and has very low obesity rate something like 3% of the nation is with an bmi of over 30, while in the US the number is like33% of the nation is with an bmi of over 30. its all down to portion size and food quality. not calorie counting or depriving oneself or anything, and of course lots of activity and moving around,

Also, I totally agree with runningupthathill, once you start paying attention to the ingredients that goes into your food,and veer away from processed crap, your taste buds really changes and you stop craving snacks. It doesn't mean that you are living a miserable life or anything,

I absloutely love chocolate but haven't eaten any mars chocolate bars or any cadbury "chocolate" in years , i dont crave it , can't even stomach it, it tastes too sugary and I can't taste any chocolate,< I recently stopped eating kallo dark chocolate rice squares cause I'm positive they messed it up,tastes horrible now> but if I buy a small box of proper chocolate from jean Paul hevin or michel cluizel or the like, I find I can't eat more than two small pieces,and feel really full longer,and don't crave them daily.

Well runningupshe doesn't cook, nothing from scratch, eats chicken slices and salad and admitted she doesn't cook for her DS either - this was part of the conversation we had when she said she had been on a diet all her life. I asked her how she cooked and she said cooking for DS would mean she would be tempted to eat the leftovers or food as she cooks. Her DS is 18 months he has those pouch food things most of the time - she does work full time though (but so do and I have two DCs and cook even if I'm knackered).

So the problem isn't that she eats 1500 cals a day - which, as we've established, isn't that low - the problem is that she eats badly?

I think you should stop worrying about her diet so much. As this thread proves, most slim people watch what they eat, whether consciously or subconsciously.

Shakespearessister you have managed to passively aggressively reveal, under the guise of faux concern, that she is wrinklier than you, takes less exercise than you and doesn't cook for her child like (super mummy) you.

Wow - you really resent her for being slim, don't you?

I'm size 8, 5'2", & work 3 days in an office & the other 4 days I'm at home with DD. We dont have a car so walk everywhere. I quit dieting as it was making me unhappy & obsessive. I actually eat far more now, and weigh less, than when I was dieting - except for when I was struggling with ED issues.

Why do so many women, in particular, obsess over their weight? And pick apart other women for being too fat/thin or eating too much/little/the "wrong" foods? It's enormously unhelpful.

Yes, this is me but its a battle now Im approaching 50. Slim until 14 then put 2 stones on in a year. Battled the same 2 stone for years since. Exercised moderately to excessively in twenties. Tried to stick to 1000 calories per day. Ive tried every diet and gimick going. Recently, I saw a dietician who tested my Resting Metabolic. Rate - it was 1100, meaning If i want to control my weight, i must eat no more than 1100 calories. Im 5'7" & 11 stone so quite big. To lose weight, i have to go down to 800. Its very hard. constant hunger, feeling tired and cold. Low carb/ketosis is the only way. Apparently, for my age, my BMI is not uncommon. Its so depressing. The doctor said that he would normally expect someone wigh my profile to weigh around 15 stone. I probably would if i hadnt spent my life battling to keep my weight in check. Its exhausting - all that counting and planning. I dread to think what Ill be allowed to eat in 20 years time. A carrot or two perhaps.

I am not so slim, but to maintain an okayish figure I regularly go to bed hungry. Sometimes I think fuck it and have cheese and mayonnaise and crisp sandwiches with chocolate for pudding, but if I do I eat very little the next day. It is a huge effort sometimes, but I don't feel like me when I am bigger than I am now. It is much much harder now I am older. (47).

I don't calorie count, but I think I naturally veer towards healthier foods and I'm fairly active too. I dont think 1500 Cals for an inactive person is that bad, I do think rigidly calorie counting is probably not good for you mentally but I suppose she must feel she is happier being thin than fat and she knows this method works for her.

whatthe not really, I'm slim too - it's just I've never dieted and it was a bit a revelation that someone I thought was also naturally slim watches everything she eats. But as a lot of you are pointing out, it doesn't help that we are surrounded by crap food that we have somehow normalised. I'm thinking her attitude is probably the right one, apart from maybe not cooking for her DC. She will be wrinklier than me because she's older, but as I apporach my 40s I'm wondering how I will manage the bum/face thing.

whatthe she's also much better looking that me! Wrinkles or not!

I was like this for 20odd years. Very low calorie "diet". I was slim, possibly too much so. Over the years the weight has crept on and I'm now a largish 12. I hate it but frankly can't be arsed with eating so frugally. And living on my nerves.

May be some truth in the fucked-up metabolism thing?

What you eat IS your diet. Whether u choose to have a healthy one, an unhealthy one, whether u watch it or not, we have a diet. Some people chose to eat to maintain and healthy body and some don't. And some 'diets' help u lose weight but are ridiculously unhealthy. Just be sensible. Food is just fuel lol each to their own ????

I have to watch everything I eat. I have recently slimmed down from a size 16 to a size 12 just using MFP. I have been doing it on and off for 5 years (but had 2 children in the meantime) but its the last 6 months-ish I have been trying to improve the quality of what I eat. To be fair, my weight gain was actually fairly slow (size 18 at my peak) but the loss has been fairly rapid and easy. I enjoyed everything I ate in my 20s but do feel so much better now that almost everything I eat is home cooked. I look back and I am amazed at how much better I eat these days, now I just need to work on portion control grasps my digital food scales

I am in my 40s and have always been a size 4/6. I have never dieted but likewise I wouldn't dream of eating chocolate, cakes, crisps or indeed anything processed/ready made. I do exercise everyday so I am not super skinny. I would much rather do without chocolate than be overweight.

I too only have one meal a day, I don't physically feel I could eat twice in a day. I am healthy and that's the most important thing to me.

I'm 33 and have been watching what I eat since I was a teenager. I've been fat before and know I spiral out of control if I start down the wrong path. So I try and stick to the right one. I'm a happy size 10 and eat well. We don't keep rubbish in the house and choose healthy balanced meals that tbh are quite large portions....but because our overall lifestyle is healthy I don't generally gain weight. Sadly I can't imagine a time when I won't have to actively consider my food intake. I LOVE food so it can be tough.

But I prefer being slim and feeling good about myself. I think 'diets' where people are only eating once a day (and even then making unhealthy choices) to stay slim aren't healthy at all. Bodies need healthy fuel for a myriad of reasons. I'd be cranky as hell if I didn't eat properly across the day (3 meals a day with healthy snacks)

I have no willpower I can do a month tops, but usually fall off the wagon. The true meaning of a diet is what you eat forever, the ones we follow short term are something else, so in some ways, at least she's not doing fad or yoyo dieting which is much worse for you.

I like your name, btw, OP :)

I think it's actually more to do with listening to my body. Now, if I'm hungry I'll eat. Some days I eat masses, and then I'll have a few days where I'm not really all that bothered.

I do exercise every day, mainly yoga or walking, as I enjoy it. I do eat fairly healthily but do have a bit of a soft spot for cake and ice cream and cheese (not together).

But I never weigh myself unless I'm at the doctors or hospital and I'm being weighed for some reason.

It is very liberating to have reached this point now that I'm in my 40s. I've struggled with eating disorders (as a late teen/early 20s), was always naturally slim, have been heavier when I used to go to the gym a lot and drank quite a lot (pre-kids), have been a lot skinnier, but now my body seems to have settled in to its natural weight, if there is such a thing.

Plus being too thin is ageing, not that I'm vain at all....

Most woman i know what what they eat, some more successfully than others. Reducing my food intake caused me to fall into a binge/starve cycle which was very hard to break - i am free of it now and despite being slightly heavier than I'd like, i'm size 12, i will not attempt to restrict down to a 8/10 again. Binge/starve is a horrible way to exist.

I'm not a serial dieter but I guess I'm a subconscious ledger. I regularly eat around 1200 calories and I can then indulge if I want to. I'm terrible with sugar, eating far too many biscuits but I hardly drink alcohol or fizzy drinks, rarely have fried food and hate creamy, rich food. I also hate feeling full and lose my appetite when stressed, busy, sick etc. I exercise moderately but not enough to make a difference to my figure. I know when I'm carrying a few extra pounds and am very good at being disciplined if required. Being overweight does not make me happy and not being emotionally linked to food makes it easier for me to cut out the crap.

Personally I don't think I need 2000 calories every day at my height and build. Sure there's days where I will manage more but I'm not starving, especially on days where my calories come from good food choices, so eating another 500 calories would be counter productive. I should say I'm not someone who.is naturally thin. If I ate mountains of food I would easily gain weight. I'm just so used to.eating smaller portions and less food after years of eating this way, that I manage my intake this way without too much thought

I monitor my daily intake with mfp.
I aim for 1500 calories a day and I exercise at least an hour a day.
I try to eat fairly healthily, lots of soups and salads but I don't exclude any food group and my vice is a glass of wine mist nights.
I'm 48, 5ft 3 and weigh 8 stone.
I lost a lot of weight last year and I like feeling healthy and fit.

I keep a running tally in my head and have done for years, for all the good it does me. It really annoys me a) that I do it at all and that b) people feel the need to comment on whether my weight is up or down.

I do this. I stick to around 1100 basic and then give myself treats (ww pro points system).
I also exercise.

1500 is not too low for a woman who's thin and not tall. She's probably eating close to her total daily energy expenditure already that's why she's maintaining the weight. I'm 5'7 3/4 and overweight (175lbs) and my TDEE is in the 1800 cals already.

Wow, no. I am 5'2" and a size 8 and eat what I want... Although I eat pretty healthily in the week as I like fresh fish and veg and big salads etc. I used to have cake and chocolate every day but have tried to cut down on sugar as I read it's ageing and I am 40 soon.
I have never counted calories though. I love good burgers and have chips at least once a week and often eat ds's food up for him. I always have 2 breakfasts too - porridge, then toast an hour later. I also don't like deep fried processed food though or fizzy drinks. Actually I love coke but too much sugar to have much.
I exercise though - cycle a lot, walk loads, and do yoga most days. That's the key - I have a fast metabolism I think. It'll be a shock when it slows down!