Diet stuff - sort of H&B - wondering if a lot of women are like this? And don't admit it.

[ShakespearesSister01]

Found out this weekend that my cousin has basically been on a strict diet since she was 18. She's now 42. She was a chubby teenager but went away to college and came back slim, as you do when you leave home. In her early 20s she was very skinny, after giving up smoking she filled out a bit in her 30s but after having her first baby last year she's got very slim again. We were at a family 'do this weekend and I commented how good she looked. She does look great considering she doesn't exercise, I exercise and am bigger than her. Anyway she admitted to me she has stuck rigidly to a 1500 calories a day for two decades. She's never slipped up - and she sticks to tiny portions and avoids eating carbs every day. I have to say I was quite shocked, but she doesn't exercise and the rest of her side of the family - my aunt and uncle - are quite stocky. She says it's her genes and she is fighting it all the time. i really felt for her - because I don't think it makes her that happy. She says she is always worrying about what she eats. Is this common among women? I eat what I like - although I am veggie and veer on the vegan, but more for taste than moral reasons. I could never imagine having the time to count calories.

500decibels I don't think it is good for your friend just to eat one meal a day, that can't be healthy surely! Doesn't only eating once a day slow down your metabolism more than eating small meals frequently?

It baffles me when people seem to think it is "normal" to eat chocolate bars or cakes or biscuits or crips. It just isn't. But we are surrounded by so much crap, and so many people think eating too much and badly is "normal", that it is surprising when someone eats healthily, and according to their needs. If you don't exercise, you don't need many calories. If you are very active, you need more, but the sources of the calories should, as far as possible, not be from sugars.

Eat in moderation, according to your energy output, and avoid sugar. There isn't much else to it really.

The small meals frequently stuff is a myth. So yes, perfectly heathly to eat once a day (excluding any underlying health issues of course) providing you're eating enough overall.

ultra - exactly.
Even people who think they're eating healthily (forgoing cakes/chocolate etc) continue to eat carb heavy meals (pasta, rice, sandwiches), drink milky coffees, eat big portions etc, do no exercise (that one Zumba class a week isn't going to do much), then wonder why they're overweight.

It only really bothers me when I see poor eating habits (whether its overeating, eating crap or obsessing about calories) passed on to children. Do what you like to your own body but ffs don't screw up your kids health.

That's interesting, thanks for clearing that up Talisin.

I don't think carbs are the devil but if you weigh your food to be the portions suggested on the packet, it's also a revelation.

I have muesli for breakfast and if you weigh out the portion they suggest (and give the healthy calories for) it looks tiny compared to what you would put in unchecked by yourself.

The main problem with carbs isn't carbs, it's just the portion sizes. Sugar on the other hand is a nightmare. Ultra is spot on - chocolate should be a treat but we seem to have drifted to needing a treat every day. Lots of people talk about 'everything in moderation' but have no clue what moderation looks like, and when they do see it criticize those doing it for being boring, no fun, obsessive etc.

I really felt for her - because I don't think it makes her that happy.

Well, I eat what I like, I am overweight and that does not make me happy. So would she be any happier not dieting? Probably not. And I guess she's healthier as she is, too.

I wouldn't feel sorry for her.

I'm slim and always have been (5'7" and a size 10). I truly can (and do) eat what I want, but I do try to be relatively balanced. For example, if I had a big meal (say roast dinner), I would only have someone very light as my lunch/dinner (so if I've had roast at lunchtime, I'll have maybe a slice of cheese and a few crackers for dinner with some fruit). Not because I'm trying to keep my total calories low, but because I'm not hungry. I don't actually have a clue about how many calories are in different foods (but am clued up on nutrition in general).

I don't eat much in the way of pasta these days as I find it makes me bloated, so would probably eat it once a week maximum (and that's largely because of the children being so keen). Same with bread, I can only eat a maximum of one bread item a day (so if I had a sandwich at lunch, I couldn't eat anything with bread for dinner, would never have toast for breakfast etc).

My big thing is chocolate, I eat quite a bit of it, usually a bar after lunch (from a multipack) then would share one of those big bars with H in the evening.

However, I hardly drink, eat quite a lot of salad (I always easily make my 5 a day), exercise regularly, don't smoke, so sugar is my only vice really.

I'm size 8/10 and have worn same size clothes since my teenage years.
I eat more or less what I like but in small portions , I just don't like big massive piled plates of food .
I use a side plate for my dinner .
I don't buy chocolates or crisps for the house , only buy a bar if I really fancy a treat , like reading a magazine with a Freddo will be my chill out evening .
If I know I am going out for dinner ( rare!) , I will eat less during the day like porridge then a cup a soup.
I would say I'm more a grazer , rather eat small snacks than a big meal.
I've just always been like this and can't see myself changing .
I think it's portion sizes that others get wrong , sometimes on my lunch break at work , I see what other people have piled on their trays / plates and its like a double portion.

for goodness sake, there's nothing wrong with eating carbs!!! A healthy, balanced diet recommendation is that 70% of a persons' daily calories come from carbohydrates. This "anti carb" thing is just a complete farce spun by people that want others to buy into their faddy diet system.

There will be some people who calorie count like mad to stay slim, but I don't know anyone like this. In fact, thinking about it, most people's weights reflect their eating habits (talking about the people I know).

My TDEE is only 1500 calories so I have to watch what I eat otherwise I put on weight.

I think the message that has gone out over the years that around 2000 calories is the right amount as led to so many women gaining weight.

Lots of people are able to eat healthily without calorie counting and weighing themselves but if you are small framed and short this isn't always enough.

There is nothing wrong with eating carbs but they are extremely easy to overeat. Fir example, a large bowl of pasta, with a portion of garlic bread on the side can be as low fat as possible but will be laden with far more calories than people will think.

I don't think there's anything wrong at all with eating carefully.
I never buy crisps, fizzy drinks, biscuits,cakes,occasionally chocolate.
I would never pop to the shop to get a snack.
I love food..enjoy eating out. And a glass or two of wine as opposed to a bottle of plonk.

But I hate " pigging out" and huge portions.
I'm amazed at what people consider a normal portion size.

Interesting comments. Talked to my DH and my DS and they pointed out something about my cousin, that she is not ageing well (her parent's look really young for their ages too) That might be from having a 18 month old DS or the smoking - she used to chain the fags for many year.
Being only a few years younger than her I'm minded to keep up the exercise and eat everything in moderation (except meat as am veggie). I'm not feeling quite so envious of her lovely figure now. I eat well but never watch calories, I love butter and chocolate (the dark stuff) but I've not go a sweet tooth, which is thanks to my mum and dad never letting me have sweets. My cousin's family are very into their food so it must be hard for her; even with a will of steel. But as lots of you have pointed out we are surrounded by food. My DS said she always thought our cousin had an eating disorder.

If she looks old it will be the smoking.

What even if you give up davidbowie- she hasn't smoked for about 7/8 years, but she did smoke age 16-early 30s, and she used to smoke a lot.

It might not be hard for your cousin at all, Shakespeare. As I said upthread, 1600 cals a day to maintain weight didn't feel tough at all for me - esp not after I had stuck to 1200 a day for a long time to get to goal.

I also love food and always cook healthily, from "scratch." It's just that when you get used to eating well, and exercising a lot, you honestly don't feel as if you're depriving yourself. Well at least I didn't. I just felt fit, slim and healthy.

There's no envy at all when I see others eating crap food. I feel a bit sorry for them, tbh - I don't get why you'd eat, say, crisps. They just taste like fat and salt when you get out of the habit. Once you haven't had stuff for ages, you don't miss it. I'll have the odd crisp in the pub if someone else buys them, but I haven't bought a packet for myself in probably 10 years.

And the other benefit of getting used to eating well, and within my calorie limits, is that I know I'll shift the baby weight easily with mfp after I return to it after having this baby. It's a whole lifestyle thing for me, which fits in well with distance running - not a quick fix fad.

DH and I both used to be extremely slim when we were young and seem to have passed this on to our daughters. I could eat genuinely whatever I ever fancied until I was 35 and pregnant for the first time. After that, getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight has involved watching what I eat and being mindful while shopping. DH exercises massive amounts. Both of us need to watch the evening meal. After less than a week of croissants in the morning I feel my weight creeping up. Sadly the base metabolic rate slows down a bit as we age and I feel I can eat less now than I did in my twenties. I like being slim and watching what I eat and exercising regularly is a small price to pay in my opinion.

1500 calls per day is fine

more fun to eat more and move around. Most women have a life, although everyone needs to look after themselves and not pork up too much.

BTW she does eat carbs, they are in vegetables.

If she is extremely slim and a smoker her skin will age prematurely. Smoking really really damges your skin and the only nice thing about being fat is it fills out your wrinkles.

usual half-arsed confusion here too - there are two forms of dietary carbohydrate. I completely can't be arsed to explain again.

complex carbs are not bad.

I eat about 1300 on the average day, sometimes more, sometimes less. I do have a history of ED but 1300 calls per day keeps my weight in the healthy BMI range and means I am able to function fully physically and emotionally (not tired and snappy). I also run 5k every other day on that. I don't find it hard at all.

I kind of do this accidentally. I've always been slim and thought it was just luck. I started tracking my calories and realised that I naturally only eat about 1500 calories a day. So I don't deliberately diet, that's just what I'm hungry for!

Agree that 1509 calories isn't that low, I don't restrict myself.