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Too fat to be a bride?

74 replies

Smurfgirl · 09/11/2006 16:22

Friend said today - i think brides who are a size 16 or over look awful. Fuck.

Am size 18 [fatty emoticon] and I am loosing weight and have 2 years but I have never ever as an adult been thin, smallest size i have been is size 14 which is not exactly tiny is it? And my arms are ming ming ming (full of scars)

So say I am a size 16 on my wedding day will it be hideous? Have HUGE boobs and fat tummy but am not flabby kwim?

Am going to be minger yes?

OP posts:
kismet1 · 10/11/2006 16:04

hmmmmm.....sure she's a friend?

i was 4 months pregnant on my wedding day and constantly sicking up but still looked if I can do it, anyone can. Oh and I wasnt exactly a slim size 10 (or 12 or 14) even when not pregnant! Mind you, a sari is 6 yards wide...maybe that helped me..

NomDePlume · 10/11/2006 16:06

What a load of tosh smurf.

You will not 'be a minger', you will look voluptous and fab.

mousiemousie · 10/11/2006 16:20

Your friend is both brainwashed and tactless and talking complete nonsense.

Try on some dresses and see for yourself!

crinklechunk · 10/11/2006 16:54

My friend got married 3 weeks ago in a size 18 and looked gorgeous. Take no notice of your friend, your other half loves you the way you are or he wouldn't be marrying you. You will look stunning

WeaselMum · 10/11/2006 17:02

Dawn French lost loads of weight for her wedding and says she really regrets it because she doesn't look like herself in her wedding photos. Besides wedding dresses look fantastic on people with curves. My friend recently got married in a corset top and long, fairly straight skirt and looked amazing - I'm not even sure what size she is but I think she must be around a 22 - but she just chose her dress to suit her shape. Try lots of stuff on and buy whatever you feel fantastic in!

CountessDracula · 10/11/2006 17:04

honestly what a load of crap

I have seen brides of every shape and size look fantastic. In fact one of my best friends was a 16 on her wedding day and she looked the most amazing of any bride I have seen I think, with a fabulous boned top to the dress with her amazing norks on display!

I am with whoever said you lose weight just before your wedding - I ate nothing but pizza for a week before and lost half a stone!

CountessDracula · 10/11/2006 17:05

(oh and watch out cos my skirt was hanging off me and had to go and get it taken in 2 days before!)

hatwoman · 10/11/2006 17:07

people look good on their wedding day because they're happy. sorry if it's naff but it's joy and love that make people look good, not bloody diets - or, for that matter, designer dresses. happy and in love is how you'll look and if you're friend is too damn shallow to see that then more fool her.

Issymum · 10/11/2006 17:22

Absolutely hatwoman - it's not all about bone-structure and physique. I'm not beautiful, I'm not ugly either, just a fairly average looking woman. But I have three sets of photographs where I think I look really quite beautiful - my wedding day, the day I met DD1 for the first time and the day we adopted DD2. There is something about that extraordinary happiness that gives me a lustre I've never otherwise had and certainly never managed to recapture. Probably never will now I'm a 42 year old harridan.

One thought Smurfgirl: Make sure you get lots of informal, unposed photos taken. Preferably when you are not even aware of the camera, but are just chatting and enjoying the day. I guarantee that you will look beautiful in them.

edam · 10/11/2006 17:29

I was a size 18 and though I say it myself was gorgeous! Still got the pics and I was, honest. Even my boss, who NEVER gave compliments and always moaned about weddings, said I looked lovely. And he was the sort of man who would tell you straight if you didn't, even on your wedding day (and just not mention it if you did).

A-line dresses v. flattering, btw. And if you have a chest, get a neckline that draws attention to it - V or sweetheart shaped. Do NOT go for a straight dress. Or anything too fussy.

Find a dress that makes you feel special, visit several hairdressers/beauticians to see what they'd do for you, and choose the ones who make you feel good to do your hair and make up on the day.

lulumama · 10/11/2006 17:41 married 9 years ago..size 14 - generous bust ( am definitely more amply proportioned these days....16 on a really good day....very hourglass figure...boobs , big ol' bum & small waist......!)

a friend of MIL's said to me, most brides diet before their wedding are you going to ? i said, i'm not most brides! and DH loves me just how i am! twas never mentioned again!!

had a very simple dress.......princess line, so accenutated the waist and flattered bum & hips, nice deep neckline and sleeves to just above the elbow......heavy ivory satin ( not shiny IFYNWIM). long train that could be bustled up at the back for dancing.

and a big traily bouqet...not a teeny one, good for making you look more in proportion ... !!


you will be beautiful & radiant and DH will not be expecting a different woman to walk down the aisle..he must love you curves and all! if you can get hair and make up done professionally, that is a lovely boost to your confidence too!

you'll know when you find the dress......xx

katyjo · 10/11/2006 17:52

Hey smurfgirl! I was 5 months pregnant on my wedding day and I looked and felt fantastic, I had been worried about getting married and all my in-laws frowning at the fact I was preggers, but I couldn't have given a toss on the day, I was so happy and so was dh. Even the most snotty of dh's aunts said it was the best wedding she had been too. It isn't about the most expensive dress, best reception venue or being the skinnest bride!! If you are happy and feel fantastic, you will have a brilliant day and will look fantastic! XXX
P.s. Is your friend married? I bet she is jealous, make sure you have a good comeback for next time she makes a comment ie It's a shame you might never get to experience being a bride! etc

kittylette · 10/11/2006 19:00

im a size 16 now,

im getting married nov 07 and if im not size 12 or under then im cancelling it, lol

but thats just me, if your gonna look and feel good for 1 day, its gotta be your wedding day

i bet you'll look stunning hunny

lackofgravitas · 10/11/2006 22:34

If you're dieting cos you're dieting, and you think you'll keep the weight off, then great ... but I hate the idea of pre-wedding diets myself. I think it's good to look like yourself on your wedding day, not a skinny, long-haired version that you'll look back and sigh over in years to come. My wedding photos, if anything I'm heavier than I am now, I have short hair home-dyed red - I look like me! A very dressed up and pretty (and seven years younger ...) me, but still me. Oh, and I got married in December almost entirely so I could have long sleeves!

hatwoman · 10/11/2006 23:53

I'm not big at all but I refused to try to shed the 3 or 4 pounds that part of me thinks would bring me to my "ideal" weight. in fact I was heavier on my wedding day than I;ve ever been (not counting pg)

kittylette · 11/11/2006 10:34

just to add, people keep talking about wanting to look like themselves on their wedding day, so they want to remain the same weight theyve always been,

but ive always been size 12, and have put on about 2 stone from having 2 babies in 2 years, so am size 16

so i want to look like myself on my wedding day, which is a size 12, not what i am now,

i dont feel like me being this size

MissingMySleep · 11/11/2006 14:32

Hi there I am size 18 and gettingmarried in Feb. The dresses are small - in normal clothes I can sometimes get into a 16, and an 18 is nice and roomy - in wedding dresses the size 20s were tight!!

I tried on stacks and felt like a right pudding, but to be honest that is more to do with being 38 than being a size 18. You are only 24, so you will be blooming with youth and fresh skin, and your taight size 18 is going to look nicer that my wobbly saggy 18!!

Thing is I know I am going to be so happy that I will look fine, I am so excited about marrying DP - after 10 years and 2 children it seems about time.

Also I have hideous arms - I am covered on my arms in really yukky excema - so the sleeve solutions has been a worry since we decided to get married. However I found THE dress, and the lady in the shop took pity on me and gave me the matching wrap for free (good shop in southampton if you are near there!) and my friend is going to make this into some loose sleeves, like a bolero but not so tight.

This is a nice easy solution, in case your budget doesn't stretch to some of those beautiful pictures higher up this chain.

Finally (sorry for waffling on) you may find A line more flattering than full on meringue, but you still will feel you are in a dress and a half, esp if you have a long skirt - the one I ahve goes back, and back and back.... also rather fantastically it has a built in corest thing, so I am held in by the dress and my enormous boobs don't fall out even if I jump out and down (I have done the bounce test and touch your toes test and it passed). Find a dress that is comfy and supportive that you can jump about it, and cover any bits you are self concious about and then you will feel and look fantastic.

Good luck!

Donkeyswife · 11/11/2006 23:48

Smurfgirl, I was chief bridesmaid for one of my very good girlfriends and she was and is a beautifully large, curvaceous and very sexy lady. I have no idea what size she was then and is now and I'm not in the least bit interested to know as it is so unimportant to me. I love her for who she is, not for her dress size. She looked fabulous on her day and had her dress made by a seamstress. Your nearest and dearest love you for who you are, not your dress size or what it may be on yours and hubby to be's big day.

Anyway, who cares about what freaking size you take - it's just a number. As long as you feel fulfilled, loved and happy, your dress size will be so irrelevant. On a practical note, get yourself off to a good dressmakers and I'm sure they will make something to fit you and make you look and feel divine. Why give money to a wedding dress shop if they're gonna try and squeeze you into something that's going to make you feel bad about yourself?

Just one more thing - try wearing a basque on your day, I did and it hid a multitude of sins.

newgirl · 12/11/2006 17:52

get your friend to be a bridesmaid and make her wear a sack ho ho

ummbilal · 12/11/2006 20:15

I was a size 14/16 on my wedding day and still am and never flet more beautiful, you will look georgous coz u are georgous personally skinny women look strange to me unfeminine like posh spice, i prefer charlotte church's shape.

Enjoy your day, x

ghosty · 12/11/2006 20:37

Smurfgirl ... if your friend knows you are getting married she is a right cow for saying that

My sister was size 16+ when she got married and she looked jaw droppingly gorgeous .... she isn't a very extroverted person and was very stressed and worried about her day but when she turned up at the registry office she just oozed confidence and she literally shone from the inside out ... and she shone ALL DAY!

I was a size 8 when I got married and although I looked nice and all that I have pictures in which I look so scrawny it just ISN'T attractive ... like everyone says, a nice full bust is what you need to wow the crowds on your wedding day ...

BTW Can us Mumsnetters come???? I can buy a new 'at (as Cilla says)

bongosmum · 12/11/2006 20:47

Surely the people who will be at your wedding know and love you...and best of all, you fiancee loves you as you are. if it makes you feel better, then try and lose weight but don't get too wrapped up in being thin, letting the build up to your day pass you by.

Lio · 12/11/2006 20:54

Your friend talketh out of her arse. You will be beautiful.
And to CSWS - cooee!
And to Californifrau - by coincidence my mum and I were looking at one of your wedding photos the other day and it made me come over all dewy-eyed. What a beautiful girl you are.

Smurfgirl · 12/11/2006 22:19

Course you can ghosty really do feel that without MN I might never have gone for it with dp!

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