How to achieve the middle class / posh girl look and lifestyle?

[stuckonchapterone]

Hello everyone.

I was seen, and read some threads similar to this, however I was wondering whether anyone could give me some advice, it would be much appreciated

I have long been a 'fan' of the posh / middle class fashion look e.g. long hair, joules, white stuff ect. I was wondering what staples you would suggest purchasing in order to achieve this look and lifestyle e.g. I am looking into buying a barbour coat, once I can get to the shops (currently recovering from an illness at the moment, and part of this post is get some advice before I update my wardrobe to make myself feel a bit better) Advice on where to shop / eat and act would be great too

Any tips / advice to help me achieve this look / lifestyle would be greatly appreciated. No negative comments please.

Thanks all!

Stuckonchapterone I'm sorry you've not had a great time recently, and I totally get it, there's a part of getting to the end of the twenties that makes some people (me) feel like a biker jacket, tutu and topshop heels don't really cut it for the office any more (seriously, I LOVED my boho days, but once I got a grip in my thirties, had serious job etc, I quite enjoyed dressing more 'grown up') and also sometimes it is FUN to dress in a certain style! It's always interesting to see how people treat you when you dress in different ways! Also, I think people are assuming you are going to start dressing in hunting boots and a velvet hairband, but in lots of cultures - French, Spanish, American, some places in Ireland - this grown up, slightly classic, slightly preppy, slightly posh look is really popular.

Definitely less is more with highlights. Get a Babyliss blow dry brush to help achieve the swishy hair look.

Less is more with makeup too - tinted moisturiser, groomed but natural brows and lashes, bit of blusher maybe.

Look at pictures of casual K-Middy - she's in skinny jeans, flat shoes or boots, blazers and tops. So often from Zara. All the sophisticated European girls I know and the poshest English one spend TONS of time and money in Zara. Interestingly, Zara changes its stock according to what people buy, so if ever I'm in London and need workwear, the big Zara on the Kings Road is great - full of natty little blazers and trousers etc.

Kirsty from Location,Location is a good look for the more curvy sophisticated lady, and a bit more 'fun' in a bodeny way.

Uniqlo is also absolutely great for basics like merino wool cardigans, coloured jeans which do seem to be a west London look I've never been able to embrace, gilets, stripy bretons, nice leather belts etc.

Yes, and one nice tan leather bag that goes with all the navy etc. Pearl studs cheap and cheerful from here

Seriously, go for it, and then in six months time you want to look like an East London Boho queen, a New York black-clad darling, a sexy vamp, go for that too! Sometimes we all take clothes too seriously.

Noddy I would generally agree if the advice was to lavish £££ on something completely outlandish, but for a women in a professional job, a few pairs of nice jeans, some decent boots and a blazer are not really 'out there' items (unless OP pitches up to say that until last week she was a punk).

From the OP's subsequent posts I am not entirely convinced by the motivation, but I don't think the purchases are worrying and anything else won't be dealt with on here.

Regardless of your 'look' the look the OP is after is comprised of good quality basics, so not contributing a huge amount of the family finances to a trend. I could take my black skinnies I wear to work and look Goth As Fuck (and trust me, I do know what's required & can still get into it) quite easily, or Eurotrash, or preppy.

Go to Burghley horse trials in September and buy your entire wardrobe from there, they have Joules,Boden and numerous other labels that aren't on the High St. It is excellent for people watching too.I don't advise going on the Saturday,because it is cross country day and packed,also it is more expensive to get in. Thursday or Friday are quieter.If you can't wait that long,get thee to a point to point,the season has just started here.

Do not buy Hunter wellies, they are irredeemably naff and only people from London wear them here.

Thank you very much stickem what a lovely compliment but I am old tbh and I think that's why I think it's more important to be happy with who you really are inside because that is who is always with you. It's lovely to look nice and there is no harm in that but the inside is the most important thing.

Again, completely agree with with noddy. It's not like the OP wants a wardrobe overhaul, she asked how to act. That sounds a bit odd and that's why people queried it.

I am old too

And imho after an illness, physical or mental, it's important to learn to love yourself for exactly who you are.

I'll shut up now!

Agree with Noddy and Dame.

If OP feels like she's stuck in a style rut and wants to reinvent herself, there is nothing wrong about that.

I'm not posh, but I used to work in a place where posh people go to (think country club) and the uniform seems to be:

skinny jeans
white button down shirts
breton tops
ballet flats
understated leather bags (no big multiple logos, like Louis Vuitton not barfing on you)
pearl stud earrings
diamond studs
flat leather boots
always well-groomed (hair, nails, brows)
minimal makeup

I'm not sure why people are stuck on this "how to act" thing. The OP works at home and is going into a new workplace. She lacks confidence about how to act there. "Posh people" are often excessively confident. The stereotype she is talking about is clearly how to be someone who enters a room, sparkles and strikes up easy conversation with people. That sloaney stereotype that is witty, gregarious and respected. That's clearly what she means by "how to act". She's not literally asking you how to move one leg after the other!

There are loads of articles, blogs and studies about confidence and generally addressing this exact question!! Only because people are hypersensitive to class are they implying she is mentally ill.

The OP basically reads: I've been ill and work at home and am going into the workplace for the first time in a while. I'm feeling really nervous about it as being ill has knocked my self image. I really want to project that breezy polished confidence that some women do. Does anyone have any suggestions for clothes (I like the sloaney/country look) but also ways to be a good conversationalist and a more "interesting" person?

Also, the answers of this thread are generally amazing! I have no interest in looking like a sloan but it has inspired me to throw out all of the old ratty worn clothes that I need to!

Only ever wash your hair with salon shampoo/conditioner. Supermarket stuff will leave your hair dry and frizzy as its made from detergents.

Always buy very high quality (not branded) clothing. Buy secondhand from ebay if you can't afford new. Avoid synthetic fabrics if you can. Think wool, silk, cotton, linen.

Never wear cheap shoes. Always leather.

I aim for the one on the right.

Hahahaha stillyummy every time there's a crisp clear still day and I get the now horseless pang I'm going to look at that picture.
OP
I get the wardrobe overhaul. I really do. If your new job has a smart casual clothing guide the middle class identikit is really good for fitting that bill.
But surely they employed you knowing who you were? So acting any different is going to raise eyebrows? Unless it's a very old school environment and you just want to fit in better?

OP Just trying to be helpful here. Re grooming/looking glossy, you might like to look for 'Princessing' threads in Style and Beauty. I see that there's a new one, started yesterday I think.....

flora ...

Zero - princessing is most certainly not my thing but it very clearly appeals to some, otherwise why would the threads keep appearing?? (Arrgh! I must learn not to ask rhetorical questions. Please don't answer that one or we'll be here all week - a definite can of worms....)

Each to their own.... Genuinely. I really do believe that. As someone said earlier, life would be very boring if we all liked the same things.

flora the new princessing thread started over the past couple of days was started by the OP of this thread.

Hah, that wasn't the reason for the ...

(Perhaps I saw sarcasm where none was intended?)

Zero - I hadn't realised the princessing thread had been started by the OP, so no, I wasn't being sarcastic - though now I quite see how you might have thought so!! (blush to self for being so obtuse.)

Throughout all this have been trying to keep my own feelings very far removed from any objective comments I might have made re clothes and style.

However - in the most general sense and not referring to anyone at all - I do think that the topic of princessing potentially raises some similar ishoos about interior/exterior.

Drat! That 'blush' was meant to be a picture NOT a link!!! Too many square brackets.

What is a princes sing thread and where can I find it? Link?

*princessing - auto correct fail

Hi OP I think you will find it helpful to look up 'neutral clothes style' and 'classic dress sense' with the many pinterest pages to peruse for inspiration. Also Parisian chic.

I don't see why you have been given such a hard time. Most of the threads in style and beauty are about aspiration or fitting in with peer groups. The focus of a lot of the Sunday supplements are all about being in the know when it comes to what to eat/wear etc.

It sounds like a conservative sartorial vibe is what you are into. I think the suggestions about white stuff/fat face etc are all a bit what a primary school teacher wears to work- too pattern palace.

My advice would be to pick five neutrals and buy the best basics you can in the best materials. Navy,taupe,ivory,camel/rose beige and your best grey would work well. Create a capsule. Only buy plain leather bags and the best quality leather shoes you can afford.

It's very individual but a good starting place could be-
Two pairs of jeans- one straight leg and the other skinny for boots.
Three v-neck cashmere jumpers in navy,grey and taupe.
Linen t-shirts that are semi slouchy in every neutral.
Brown leather belt
Brown Chelsea boots
Chestnut longer Spanish riding boots
Plain tan slouchy bag
Taupe more structured bag.
Tan leather watch
Ballet pumps in tan,pewter and navy.
Range of Bretons with ivory background and more subdued stripe.
Hair in a natural colour- more cool than warm in tone.
Go to Bobbi Brown to have make-up done to find your best natural shades.
A good quality trench.