This thread makes fascinating reading. I am very senior in a professional services firm. I am currently wearing a patterned jersey M&S wrap dress I got in the sale for about 30 quid, no tights, clarks patent shoes with scuffed heels and a string of plain black pearls. My hair is expensively highlighted but I didn't blow dry it this morning, just ran a comb through it, and I haven't got round to putting any makeup on yet (though I would do a quick BB cream, mascara and blusher if I were seeing any clients). I've got a black Radley bag from an outlet, cost about a hundred quid. I never have manicures and my nails are bitten 
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To be honest I know that this dress looks a bit crap but it's really comfy and I am the boss so I don't give a shit.
The interesting thing is that I work in Hong Kong, another major financial centre but one that hasn't been mentioned yet, and my colleagues are a mix of locals and expats from Australia, the UK and Canada. Most of us expat women are pretty scruffy to be honest though we all have our nicer little dresses for special meetings. Jackets are rare. We laugh at the locals who insist on tottering to work in high heels whereas we change into flip flops the minute we leave our desks. Some locals have a downright bizarre dress sense - ruffles, frills and chiffon abound and my secretary, who is 5 years older than me (and I am the wrong side of 40) is wearing a bow in her hair today. I did have to speak recently to a junior who was wearing a crotch-length skirt. Genuine designer handbags are common here as many young women live with family and don't pay rent so have spare cash to spend on them; they allegedly say a lot about status but my mid-range high street selection has never held me back so I reckon it's all about whose opinion you value.
I have a 1 carat diamind solitaire engagement ring but I was at a meeting the other day where many of the women worked in-house for investment banks and I was struck by the size of the rocks they were carting around on their left hands (at least 3 times the size of mine). I would have been appalled if DH had spent that much money on a ring, even though he could afford it - did I really read something earlier on about the NY standard being US$50k?!
A pp said that her small engagement ring was "looked down upon" by colleagues; I'd be intrigued to know how she knew that, did someone actualy say it to your face? If judging people on their wealth must be done, I find it faintly hilarious that idiots equate ostentatious spending on jewellery with having a lot of money - it's perfectly possible to be stinking rich and choose to spend your cash on things other than bling.
WTBsupermum do you genuinely believe that your job would be at risk if you let your hair go grey? Or do you mean if you let your roots grow in and it looked messy? Either way, that's pretty shocking - a bit of a talking-to for really messy roots maybe but a sackable offence? As a manager I know how much it costs to recruit and train people and I would be very loathe to sack someone on the basis of appearance unless they actually smelled and ignored warnings.
Also, do NY women still wear trainers (sneakers) with their tights and suits to walk to and from work? I remember seeing that on Working Girl as a teenager and thinking it looked so horrible; now I fully understand and love the idea, but it sounds from what you say that people are more concerned with appearance than they were in the 80s, so wondering if it has fallen out of fashion?