Dressing for work in an American corporation

[CloserToFiftyThanTwenty]

Just that - what is essential to look professional in a US blue chip company? I'm assuming a suit / day dress is standard wear, along with decent shoes and bag. But what about the subtle stuff: manicure / hair / make up / tights?

Any advice much appreciated!

Hi Saurus, like BigPaws I use my work "uniform" as a way of transitioning from home to work. I'm definitely still the same "me" underneath though.

I guess I just don't see the point of such a prescriptive dress code. I do understand that if there are rules (even unwritten ones) then nobody wants to be the one to break them. But why have rules which are that prescriptive in the first place?

Clean, smartish clothes - yes, of course. But type of tights? Colour of suit? No bright scarves? Size of diamonds? No grey hairs? Must have heels? Compulsory manicure? - There just cannot be any sensible reason for any of this! It is perfectly possible to look smart while obeying none of these rules.

Motherinferior - I too put clear nail varnish on yesterday (first time I've worn any in ages). Bloody insidious this thread .

Interesting thread. Depressing to read how boring and narrow some of these rules are.

and what if you happen to be allergic to hair dye?

saurus around here nearly all mothers with one or two children work. It's when 3 arrive that often the lower income parent will stay home. In DD's class of 15 no one has 3 or more DC and there are 3 SAHPs. When we lived in the burbs there were many more SAHM's but there were also many more families with 3 or more DC.

The reality is the divorce rules here are very different and I am fine with that. I have my own money too. I could stay home if I wanted to but I would feel weaker. Also once you leave the workplace here you are leaving for good. After I was laid off it took a long time to find another job. Now with a job I'm interviewing and its only been one job where I didn't get an offer. The only reason I've turned down offers is because the working environments are not what I want.

Another thing of note is that a lot of the sahm here are not my type. I love a couple of them but if I was staying home I'm not the sort to put my kids in daycare all day. I know quite a few who do that including one of DD's class who has the kids in class until 530. I see her running around to spin class, getting hair and make up done and having catch ups with friends.

mous I think it's the 'no grey hair' rule that troubles me the most. I don't see how that can possibly be about grooming; it just sounds like 'Women, don't get older...'

Are men allowed to go grey?

Men are not allowed to go grey either. The rules for men and women are equally brutal. Most men get a very very short cut a la Bruce Willis when balding starts or if a lot of greys.

The no gray hair rule certainly doesn't apply where I am. Most women do color their hair, but a significant number don't. But they do have it expertly cut and styled. The Helen Mirren/Judi Dench look is quite popular.

paws and sheba I can definitely see the pros of having a prescriptive 'uniform' as less choice must make life a lot easier when planning outputs. And I guess if there is little or no wiggle room you just accept it and buy fabulous outfits for the weekend.

supermum hi . I definitely wasn't suggesting not working but maybe working in an environment that is less brutal, eg, maybe a not-for-profit or an international charity like the Red Cross. Or maybe it would be a similar environment if it is still in New York?

It is interesting what you say about having more success interviewing while you are also working and it taking a long time to get back into a job after leaving for a whole. I'm currently considering leaving my job to get some headspace away from my awful current working environment. Can't decide what is for the best - to leave and then start looking (which would allow me time and getting confidence back) or to push on through while I'm still working and job search at the same time. Tough decision, pros and cons both ways.

I looked into charity work but didn't like the atmosphere. They also have terrible benefits. It wouldn't cost them anything to have an extra week of vacation. French company interviewing with has 6 months paid leave as their maternity policy and 3 weeks vacation plus the office shuts the week between Christmas and new year. Hours are 9-530 plus after 3 months I can def work from home one day a week. After six months I can work from home two days a week. My current employer has unlimited sick leave.

I have thought very long and hard about starting my own business but I already run a business with DH. I'd probably want to expand that but DH is not keen on that.

These types of jobs and those who are successful in them, attract a certain type of person, ie I don't see many bohemian types at work. So if you're the boho type and feeling sorry for those of us in this environment it's a waste of your energies.

The poster who talked about dry cleaning vs machine washable stuff is spot on. My work wardrobe is mostly designer stuff or from the US but one of my girl crushes is one of my juniors who looks amazing every single day and shops mostly from Oasis and Warehouse.

I really enjoy wearing my work clothes and don't see them as restrictive. Most of the time I wear dresses because they suit my body shape best. In Summer, I wear colour (pinks, reds and oranges) but it's muted the rest of the year and I get plenty of colour through accessories whether it's a quirky bangle/ring or leopard print shoes or a colourful bag. home is very different to work. What would be appropriate to wear to meet the ceo of a financial institution wouldn't transition well with playing with my young dcs so it's usually jeans and a nice top but still use plenty of accessories and still like to make sure hair is done, lipstick on etc.

The non-profit sector is a separate sector - it's not an easy option for people who want to get out of corporates; the pay isn't as good and the dress code may be more relaxed but it's just as high-powered in its own way. It's not an issue of just transferring across to a softer option.

I made that transition, from corporate to nonprofit, but again, not in New York. But I had skills that did easily translate and the nonprofit is in a sector for which I had done volunteer work. The dress code is more relaxed; it is essentially business casual, although I go to meetings and give presentations outside the office with other professions and businesses so for that I dress up in a more conventionally professional manner. But I don't wear skirts or dresses ever. My dressed up uniform is tailored black slim leg pants trousers, a top, usually in a conservative print, a black jacket with 3/4 sleeves (warm climate and I like to wear a bracelet), kitten heeled pumps court shoes and good, but conservative, handbag.

A lot of the self-expression stuff seems to be understated but is definitely present. Things that you wear TO work but maybe take off AT work (gloves, scarves, sunglasses) are often extremely glam. You see a lot of hermes etc style silk scarves which is definitely a 'personal style' bit people add in.

The grooming standards are brutal for men, too. They get things 'done', a man-i-cure and moisturizer is fairly expected, and they definitely dye. The whole point is too look like you take care of yourself.

As I said, I teach in a very progressive (though madly high-powered) private school and my dress code is different (I don't dye my hair, for example, or get my nails done) but a similar understanding is under it all: We expect you to look like you take being here seriously, and that involves looking like you've brushed your hair.

Inside that people have wildly different styles. One woman only wears trousers, another is always in a very sophisticated Brooklyn-y pencil-skirt-and-cat's-eye makeup thingy... if anything, the men in their chinos are the blandest part. But it's not usual to show up with wet hair in a ponytail, or without a bit of makeup.
My outfits (knit dresses, knit blouses and flared skirts, variety of cardigans for our bloody freezing winter, opaque tights/leggings under dresses, lots of sweaters) are also a kind of uniform. I think we probably all have them, don't we? We find silhouettes that suit us, colours that makes us look good, and we mix them up and wear them over and over.
Or maybe that's just me :)

When I last worked full time in the UK non-profit sector (running comms for a major charity) I wore a natty little coral-coloured wool suit with a short skirt...

just wanted to comment that this very strict executive dress code is very much a New York/banking/corporate law thing. I work in Boston for a big company (not finance/law) and most people just don't dress like that. dh is in biotech and while he has some great suits, he can wear jeans to the office if he likes. His CEO wears jumpers with holes in them half the time.

That said, the biotech executives will all drive extremely swish cars.

And the minimum one-carat solitaire engagement ring seems universal. I know a non US physician married to a non US cardiac surgeon and she told me she went into Costco one weekend and bought herself a diamond ring because her engagement ring looked like a joke compared to the rings worn by every student nurse (and possibly because she wanted a big diamond ring). I think the de beers ad campaign back in the day really impacted the US engagement ring thing. A lot of people I know also wear massive rings which originally belonged to their or their husband's grandmother too.

Blackcurrent, my children attend private schools and I am always impressed by the perfect pitch of the teachers/staff clothes/grooming.

I'm finding this thread very confusing. We live in one of the most affluent towns in the Tri-State and it appears someone forgot to tell a lot of the people here these rules. And these are CEO's, high profile lawyers, Hedge funders, etc etc. all who work in Manhattan. Loads of men have grey hair, loads are balding. Loads have a paunch. I'm not sure about manicures but, in the 19 or so nail bars in town, I've only ever seen a handful of men in them.

Someone DEFINITELY forgot to tell the Mums they shouldn't wear a bikini as my friends wear them all the time when we're at the beach. And none of my friends would buy a fake handbag although they would be delighted if they scored some good fake diamond earrings.

Your seeing them at the weekend and not during the week? Also when your the owner of the hedge fund you have more leeway! im in the playground now wearing target yoga pants and a hoodie. Zero make up and zero jewelry. My hair has a deep conditioner on it so wrapped in cling film with a hat over the top. Heading home shortly to wash it out and then will take DD to a birthday party. Multitasking at its ugliest!

I'm impressed with your multitasking :o

Want you are so energetic! it is 85 degrees in LA, the thought of conditioner and clingfilm under a hat is terrifying!

Ah it's 60s here so very doable. I'm only energetic because I drank a lot of coffee this morning.

Supposed to say ahh thank you!

good luck this week. x

Of course I'm seeing them in the week. These people are my friends and neighbours. I don't live in a hole from Monday to Friday!

I understand that there is this stereotypical, corporate Manhattanite, but I'm just saying that this isn't over the whole board and there are literally loads and loads of people living and working here who don't buy into that, let their work do the talking and are doing very, very well indeed.

Ironically, I wouldn't dare show up in a playground here with a conditioner and cling film on my head! You'd get that sideways glance from the other parents whilst they gently moved their children away and googled, "Nanny sightings" on their phone!