PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE can you help me find my 'style'...I am lost :o(

[Gatekeeper]

I am 51
5' 7
size 16
hourglass shape (although my midriff looks tubby when viewed side on
legs reasonable
shoulder length touselly brown hair
pale skin with pink cheeks
grey eyes
I suit mid grey, rose pink, soft greens, khaki, raspberry pink
I have a long neck which despite the rest of me, is looking a bit scraggy so I look AWFUL in low neck tops, scoop necks etc
I don't suit a-line skirts or empire line stuff or short stops/jackets that stop at my hips or cross over/wrap around stuff

I don't have a clue how to dress anymore and feel utterly shite. Am stuck in jeans and t shirts. I am not looking for a smart look but more a stylish casual thing. I am very envious of women who can throw on the most mundane stuff and look bloody great; I just look like Bella Emberg in everything

Zara had grey blazers in a while ago, or you could try uniqlo.

Kissyboo, there are some lovely earrings on that website and very reasonable. Thank you

Oh gatekeeper your post upset me i always get upset when women give themselves a hard time but we all do it from time to time.You are obviously a fantastic mum for putting your kids first(nothing makes me more angry than women who are head to toe in flashy clothes but their kids look like they were kitted out in a local jumble sale and trust me i know a few women like that)but you should treat yourself too and what a top bloke your hubby is for giving you some money to go shopping.I find the older we get we should spend a bit more on good quality classics and have less tat in our wardrobes and just good quality basics.Also think about your lifestyle as i recently tried to change my image and go for more smart dressy items but given my lifestyle involves being at home all day,running errands and dog walking it didn't quiet work so iv looked again and also iv got a notebook with lists of things iv got and want to keep and things i still want and i always write down what iv bought and you will see a pattern emerging.As others have said have a look at blogs and even other women you see for ideas but like i said make sure it will fit with your lifestyle,i would love to dress like victoria beckham but it would work with my lifestyle xx

thank you magicgirl74

I feel a bit more positive about myself now; I have signed up to do a Positive Thinking course at a local centre to spur me on even more

Thank you for this thread Gatekeeper - tis just what I needed! My dp is similar to yours - I think he dispairs of my frumpiness - I don't want to be a frump anymore. I have birthday money - I will fix this.

By the way your fireplace is beautiful - I am jealous.

((())) to you Gatekeeper.

You are very inspiring.

I like all the ideas people have mentioned here. I would add some nice undercrackers, and get measured and properly fitted for a new bra or two.

I would recommend H&m jersey blazers. They are comfortable, lined and can be worn casually wity jeans. Don't be tempted to size up though, make sure it is nice and fitted to show off your figure. They are usually a very reasonable £25ish and decent quality.

This is lovely in real life, not lined,but only £20! Also in black and a stripey one too.
www.matalan.co.uk/womens/shop-by-category/blazers/s2595274/jersey-blazer

went out today to Newcastle but with elderly father and dc so no chance for clothes shopping alas...spent hours looking at bloody Lego. But nevermind...I have earmarked some clothes to go back to and will have a look at the jersey blazer at H&M
Got fairly scooted through the lingerie department by red faced ds (11) and felt like Father Ted and all the priests!! We talked in very boring voices

thank you Pootles..fireplace is lovely. Need that fire on today as it is snowing and blowing a hooley here

Hehe I remember when it was the rather exotic Hennes and Mauritz. Good luck wity shopping!

zero that post has scared the shit out of me

I am sitting here realising what a bloody mess I've become. I am wearing black joggers, vest top and hoodie. In my head I am channelling natalie imbruglia in the torn video but irl look like her fat nana!

I really don't want to bin my cardies but I'm gonna have to aren't I?

Not sorry but it's the wardrobe equivalent of a woman saying "I'm just ..." - no matter whether she's eating chocolate or designing a part for a fighter jet, feeding her baby or singing the title role at the Met.

Basically - apologetic.

If your tall, long cardigans (coatigans) are both elegant and stylish. Not everyone can wear the look unfortunately.

www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/jacket/blazers/tailored-jacket-c400013p2542588.html. This is gorgeous, lovely silvery colour, nearly bought it today even though was only looking for a top nips in beautifully at the waist.

An ordinary cardi makes me look Matronly...big boobs.
My shoulders are narrow, relatively speaking.
I bought three different wrap dresses that untie in front, going down at least one size, and wear them
as a swishy long cardi. Mid calf length. One gap, two kaliko. Mid calf length. They look quirky. Love them. £8 each in charity shop. Brand new. One purple, one black, one black and white like zebra's stripes. Dress up or down. Wearing black one with ankle grazers to a christening this coming Sunday.