PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE can you help me find my 'style'...I am lost :o(

[Gatekeeper]

I am 51
5' 7
size 16
hourglass shape (although my midriff looks tubby when viewed side on
legs reasonable
shoulder length touselly brown hair
pale skin with pink cheeks
grey eyes
I suit mid grey, rose pink, soft greens, khaki, raspberry pink
I have a long neck which despite the rest of me, is looking a bit scraggy so I look AWFUL in low neck tops, scoop necks etc
I don't suit a-line skirts or empire line stuff or short stops/jackets that stop at my hips or cross over/wrap around stuff

I don't have a clue how to dress anymore and feel utterly shite. Am stuck in jeans and t shirts. I am not looking for a smart look but more a stylish casual thing. I am very envious of women who can throw on the most mundane stuff and look bloody great; I just look like Bella Emberg in everything

these would work with loads of stuff.

I would second boatnecked tops. I'm a similar age and 5'9 with a very long neck and I live in them. I think Kissyboospost is spot on. Kissy, can you recommend a jacket to save me searching for one .

OP a long neck can be very elegant too.

Forgot to say - you could also look hard at Joseph if you like the world smooth and softly coloured or Acne Studios if you prefer jagged and clashing.

Oh - you must resolve never, ever to buy a cardigan. And burn any you are given.

thank you so much everyone for all your helpful posts , suggestions and advice ; I snivveled a bit seeing them all as I don't really have any real life friends and miss out on female camaraderie and stuff

I used to be a quirky dresser when young ...wearing my great Uncles 1930's silk pyjamas with an edwardian nurses belt, mens suits with high heels etc but I just look daft now wearing anything of that ilk , probably because i am no longer slim as a blade!

I still don't want to dress as a Granny though but I feel like I am dressing like my late mother did . I can't for the life of my bring anyone's style to mind from telly etc (but will certainly watch out for that) but I do like Doc martens boots, slim dark jeans (not skinny ones) stripy stuff and interesting silver earrings. Something that that is slightly quirky . I used to like waistcoats but busters are too big now

I am going to go through all my clothes later on and really look at myself in them; will get dh to take photos so I can see how they look on me. I have a lot of stuff but nothing really goes with anything or is unflattering or a bad fit/shape etc. I find it hard to get rid of clothes probably as there isn't a lot of money spare to replace but nothing particularly works for me

I'm sorry if I seem like a right moany bugger but you know how it is when everything just seems tripe

Jacket is just a handful of ashes and four melted buttons and a memory...

So you are in fact this woman - though perhaps in a softer colour.

And why on earth can't you wear silk pyjamas any more?

I feel like my full on quirky days are over; done that and don't want to go back there again. I am much more middle of the road nowadays but still would like a flash of that old me in something I wear- just not everything

You could totally wear heavy style ankle biker books with slim fit black jeans, have the jeans rolled up one/two times to sit just at the top of your boot, a soft sage boat neck Jersey top, a blazer type jacket in charcoal, a striped light weight scarf picking out the sage in your top and the charcoal in your blazer, your hair down, chunky silver earrings, cross body satchel in black. You'd look gorg!

nilbyname

bloody hell that sounds great and very much still 'me' !!!

I am feeling a little bit excited now

Yay!

Get thee to the online shops!
Now you can see a basic "uniform" which you can play with.
Swap the boots for a Greek style strappy flat sandle
Swap the blazer for a soft long line cardigan

I'm Pleased you like the suggestions

Zero says I'm not allowed cardigans...I have to burn them

Whoops!

What's wrong with cardigans? There are so many different styles I don't see how they can all be awful.

gatekeeper I'm similar in age, size and budget to you.
Once you have found what you want to wear, have a look at ebay - honestly there are some great quality and really cheap items to be found.

Every single cardigan in the world (bar one by Rochas that I can't afford) is designed to be ingratiating and unchallenging.

Don't worry - I'm a woman in a cardigan. I could wear a $1k Savile Row pinstripe jacket with huge shoulders and a terrifying red lining, or I could wear a shockingly simple off the shoulder suede frock - but then people might look at me and think I want some attention paid to my shameful middle-aged self. But it's ok. I'm wearing a nice, gentle, unthreatening cardigan. Here's your tea. Move along. Nothing to see here.

I love cardigans. Long maxi or midi lengths are very stylish especially when your tall.

What you need is someone to come and go through your wardrobe with you. A stylish friend perhaps, they can use fresh eyes to look at your clothes and put new outfits together and take photos and see what is missing. You can hire someone to come to your house and do this for a small fee.

You have an hour glass figure so you need to make the most of your small waist by wearing belts and tops/jackets that are fitted (no drapey or long jackets/cardigans as these will make you look like a rectangle).

Think Kirsty from Location - she wear vintage style dresses a lot as these suit her body shape, would that be a possibility?

Im a tall 5ft 9 hourglass and I can and do look great in long coatigans left open.

zero I heart you

I agree Kirsty Allplop looks god- she has her style and she totally rocks it!

op make sure you go for a single breasted jackets and in an unstructured fabric. Soft jersey.

Also your colour palette would probably love the shop- mint velvet- it's a little expensive but lovely lovely things!

Like long swishy cardis too. They look good on tall people

Nigella Lawson is another curvy lady - might be worth googling pics of her to see if you like her style.

I like The Jewellery Stop for a bit of quirky jewellery.

Once again thank you, you lovely lot! Went shopiing for an hour this afternoon and bought a couple of simple jersey boat neck tops in Peacocks and Next. Also a few camisoles and long sleeved tops in Primark in the shades I love best. Have tried a couple on and although thin they layer nicely. Couldn't find any nice biker boots and I really need to try them on as I have a high instep and can struggle with fit.

Looking without success fora fitted grey jacket/ blazer so shout out if you see one

everyone on here deserves a

Fantastic! How lovely to have a few new bits that make you feel good.

for all of us!