Hair style help please!

[nowitsenough]

I constantly despair about my hair. It is curly, frizzy, thinning at the back, greying at the front, generally uncontrollable. I have a sore itchy scalp, so don't put my hair up so as not to show it, plus I can't get the hang of up dos, no matter how many YouTube vids I watch.

I go once a year for a haircut, ending up with a curly bob that I then don't like and spend a year growing it out, until it gets so messy that the cycle starts again

As already mentioned I'm no good at hair styling and have aching shoulders, so can't spend hours with a hair dryer. I have straighteners, but dislike how I look with straightened hair.

I've put a photo on my profile. Anyone have similar hair and can suggest a hairstyle?

Short hair doesn't work at all, I hate myself with short hair.

In case you can't view my photo, my face is slightly round (I'm a size 16), medium to dark brown, shoulder length.

I've spent ages on pinterest, I can find styles I like, but they are generally just another curly bob that doesn't look right when cut.

I use sls free shampoo and silicone free conditioner and tend to let my hair dry naturally, then use a hair dryer to get rid of most of the curl and frizz. I like curls, but mine are small and frizzy, not shiny bouncy curls or waves.

Many many thanks in advance

Do I need a Babyliss Big Hair to get big bouncy curls maybe? I've tried using the straighteners to add defined curls, but can't do it I just know that I won't spend hours styling my hair, it needs to be quick and easy

Cannot see your profile/photos - you need to make your profile public I think.

What is it that you don't like about your curly bob?

Oh, of course, I didn't think of that. I think I've set it now ..

My curly bob seems to never look like a hairstyle, just a mess. No one seems to know what layers to put in. I wonder if I actually need to be curling it, rather than encouraging the natural curl?

It's quite hard to see min that photo but it looks like rather nice hair to me! I'd keep the length (longer would be good too) and add a soft fringe. Bobs are very hard work IME.

My hair is very straight so I've no idea about the care and management of curls - they say the British Curlies site and forum very good though.

The sort of bob I'd like is 13th down on this page.

Thanks MrsLettuce. I have a strange curflick (?) at the front so can't have a fringe, as it sticks up in the middle and never looks straight. I always have a side parting.

this one? That woman looks to have a totally different curl pattern to you - would need perming.

Ah, yes, one of those, DD has one (but no curls). YOu can still have a side fringe though, surely?

Possibly .. After years of perming, I don't think I want to go down that route again.

How do I find the same curls as mine though ..??

Even with a side fringe it sticks up so much, it needs a bit of length to weigh the hair down.

I hear you on the fringe! Long hair does suit you - I would honestly not bother with a bob unless you're up for splashing out on regular cuts with a curl specalised hairdresser. A good bob is a rare thing indeed, it's a really difficult cut and high maintenance for the wearer too.

Try having a root around that British Curlies site for ideas, maybe.

If you can get to Birmingham, I recommend getting your hair cut by Matthew James. Have a look on his website for some ideas

Your hair is not curly enough for that style. It is lovely hair though - really glossy and lots of body.

Could you do a better photo and we maybe able to suggest something that would work.

Thanks Mrs and Tays

Maybe I'll just have it trimmed and some layers put in then, but not lose much length, then try and find some better products. I do like it when it gets really long, but rarely have the patience to wait that long.

I'll try to upload another photo ..

Really struggling to get an ok photo. I've just posted one to my profile that I just took, but the quality is awful.

You can't see the curls though, as I've dried it straight, and then overnight it's gone wavy!

As you say, the new photo isn't much help . Maybe you could do another next time your hair is in it's natural state? Trim and maybe some layers sounds like a decent plan though!

I've uploaded another photo this morning - I couldn't get the flash to work last night

This photo was taken this morning, hair was freshly washed last night and dried head down, then I used a little was to "fix" it. It's reverted to wild and frizzy again

I really am the worst person to advise on the care of curls - my hair is straighter than a straight thing - but, AFAIK, curly hair shouldn't be brushed when dry.

Hope someone more useful comes along soon

I've read that too and always comb with a wide teeth comb.

I think the problem is getting the layers right. I've even tried with no layers - that was awful - and obviously with, but with it sticks out at the side as in the photo.

Do not comb it!!!

Seriously - comb/brush + curls = frizz. Without fail. The curly hair cuticle is prone to being raised - which is what any combing or brushing will do to it - particularly when dry. If I comb mine - instant vertical frizz .

OK, fork out on this www.amazon.co.uk/gp/offer-listing/076115678X/ref=tmm_pap_used_olp_sr?ie=UTF8&condition=used&sr=&qid= and it will give you loads of hints on how to wash/condition/products etc. It also has sone easy "up" dos to

Do not comb!

You do need a tweak with your layers as you are a bit flat on top and triangle head (happens to us all) but I would seriously try and work out exactly how curly your hair it without combing it. You may find you do have ore curl than you thought.

In the meantime scan the highstreet/work/school for anyone with curly hair who has a good cut. Button hole them, say you love their hair and ask them who cuts it. They will be happy to share (who does not like being told their hair looks good).

Oh and Do Not Comb! OK, just about allowed a wide toothed comb when wet as long as smothered in conditioner

Hi there
Similar hair to you but mine's a bit curlier and I'm struggling with dry hair due to a dye I used a while back.
I like your layers, don't cut your hair if you want to "tame" it as the weight helps keep it calmer. Don't ever brush your hair and only comb when wet. Mine is better when I leave to dry naturally and I always use a leave in conditioner, sometimes a serum - frizz ease is expensive and doesn't seem to be any better than other brands - try Vitapoint leave in conditioner which you can get at Boots.
To fix my cowslick (is that what it's called) I use a hot brush when my hair is dry or when wet put in a couple of large Velcro rollers which will smooth the curl and lift the lick into a better direction (leave to dry or blow dry).
You could also try a very small amount of wax/putty type product at the ends of the hair only - this stops the flyaway end to the hair and weighs it down.
Also don't wash your hair too much - twice a week if you can - shampoo twice, condition, use a hot oil treatment one of those times and leave in conditioner every time.
Hope this helps :)

Thanks MyFirstName and Nonsense

Okay I'll ditch the comb apart for combing conditioner through when wet.

I'm trying to use products without silicone and shampoo without sls because my scalp is so sensitive, so Frizzease serum is out of the question and I'm struggling to find products that are any good without silicone tbh, at least without spending a fortune!

I'll have a look at the Curly Girl book, thanks - I've seen the website before and read a few tips about plopping.

I do only wash twice a week, because it gets too dry otherwise. Next time I wash it I'll let it dry naturally and then post another picture. It'll probably be Wednesday.

You will need some product of some kind. You could try cheapy Boots Curl Cream (pink, dirt cheap), lots of people swear by it. Or just a small blob of your normal conditioner gently scrunched through. Curly hair is all about moisture - replacing moisture, keeping it in, not putting too much in (or it gets weighed down). Oh an do not rinse it too much in the shower iyswim - especially if you have a strong power shower - you will rinse/wash so much moisture out you may as well not even have bothered conditioning it.

And do not touch it too much - as that too = frizz.

Once you have it licked (though you sometimes have to tweak it) it actually becomes very easy hair to deal with.