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Original poster

Other people's opinions on your clothes

34 replies

purplepowers · 13/03/2015 13:53

If someone told you that they didn't like an item of clothing on you, would you still wear it?

Just asking as I recently bought a boyfriend tweed coat in the sale and my OH mentioned that he didn't like it on me. The thing was, I had lusted after this coat for ages and couldn't believe I got one half price in my size. It is incredibly comfy and I love it.

Would you still wear it - or return it?

I do value his opinion. I often tell him something doesn't suit him and he duly returns it. Just interested in what other people think?

OP posts:
LittleBairn · 13/03/2015 13:55

No I wouldn't I would find it suffocating and controlling if I had to get his nod of approval on clothes.

rookiemere · 13/03/2015 13:56

I think men sometimes have a different view on fashion. If you like it then keep it ( not sure you can actually return it if you have been wearing it anyway), but unfortunately now you'll always think of his comment when you wear it.

dangerrabbit · 13/03/2015 13:58

I would continue to wear it and tell him to butt out. Do you tell him what he can wear?!

Original poster
purplepowers · 13/03/2015 13:58

Haven't worn it yet - just tried on. OH isn't controlling at all. In fact he probably likes 99% of what I wear.

rookiemere - I agree. Would always think that everytime I wore it.

OP posts:
dexter73 · 13/03/2015 14:11

I probably would still wear it but that comment would take the shine off it.

hippospot · 13/03/2015 14:12

On the one hand my DH knows what suits me and if he doesn't like something it's often a thing I wasn't 100% about in the first place.

On the other hand there are things he doesn't like at first but after a while gets used to and ends up liking, on me.

If you love it, keep it, and after a while he won't even remember not liking it.

A friend of mine has a policy of never asking her DH what he thinks, and ignoring all comments. The fact is she always looks great because she has a strong sense of what suits her and a flair with clothes that her somewhat conservative DH lacks.

Floisme · 13/03/2015 14:19

If it's something I love then I don't take any notice although if he strongly dislikes it then I might avoid wearing it when I'm with him. But if I'm not sure, I ask his opinion and listen.

I don't see it as controlling - it's a two-way thing. I tell him what I think of his choices and sometimes he listens and sometimes he doesn't! We're both interested in clothes so it would be weird not to talk about it.

RoganJosh · 13/03/2015 14:24

For me, it depends on why. If it's because it makes me look washed out or fat-arsed then I take it on board. If it's because the fabric looks like curtain or it reminds him of his nan (vintage fake fur jacket) then I don't pay any attention.

My DH is firmly stuck in the 80s and sees a lot of things as being 'granny', when they're actually fashionable again.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/03/2015 14:27

Tricky.

I wouldn't be bothered if I thought it looked good on me, I'd still wear it, although probably more when DH wasn't around.

Before we were married, he took exception to my standard wax jacket coat (faux Barbour), but it didn't stop me wearing it because I found it very useful in the UK. Haven't worn it since we emigrated, but I don't really need to and I'd stick out like a sore thumb in it here, whereas it was quite normal to see women wearing similar where I lived in the UK.

If you love it and you think it looks good, then tough - wear it. It might grow on him!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/03/2015 14:29

And just to be fair - DH bought a revolting pleather/sheepskin donkey jacket thing from a charity shop that he has finally disposed of after I refused to be seen with him while wearing it - it really was 'orrible. I told him he could use it for fishing (I don't go with him for that) because then I'd never have to see it. He used to occasionally put it on just to wind me up, but has never worn it out in public with me - we trust each other's judgement on what looks good, mostly!

(I can't stop him wearing the most godawful stuff to play tennis in but again, he does that by himself so I let it go)

mewkins · 13/03/2015 14:35

I wish people would keep opinions to themselves unless asked. My dh and I have different views of clothes. He grew up in a rural town and I grew up in London. He is very much a function ovr style kind of person. We rarely agree on clothes so I don't bother asking.

Turquoiseblue · 13/03/2015 14:47

Hmm, I appreciate an honest opinion. If there s something I m unsure of.
However there s lots of stuff I buy in the knowledge that dh won't like it but that I like itGrin.
And quite often he ll say later he does like it when I m wearing it styled as I imagined (if that makes sense- dh has no fashion vision in other words Grin)
I do have a skimpy all saints skirt I paid a fair bit for that he pointed out did nothing for the shape of my rear, and haven't worn it since - though in cases like that I think he gives an honest opinion.

Cranagh · 13/03/2015 14:54

If I'm on the fence about something, it would put me off but if I really like the item, I ignore Dh and wear it anyway!

grannycake · 13/03/2015 14:55

I bought a Cath Kidston dress a few years ago. White with pink rosebuds - nt my normal sort of thing t all. My DH said I looked like I should be pushing a drip stand around a hospital ward. Shock Definitely took the shine off my new dress and although I persevered with it I eventually passed it on to a friend. I think it was the rosebuds - it did bear a resemblance to the nightie I used when in hospital for my three children

Original poster
purplepowers · 13/03/2015 15:25

It definitely works both ways. DH has some god awful clothes which I told him not to wear ever (and to be fair he did listen and deposited them in the charity bin).

It is interesting though - would any of you not wear something if a close female friend or sister said it didn't suit you?

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/03/2015 15:30

Again, I think it would depend on whether or not I agreed with them! But in general I stick to my own opinion on clothes and am fairly conservative with what will/ won't suit me.

Tapwater · 13/03/2015 15:41

You know him best - but some men (and in fact some women) have a thing about people only wearing stuff that is 'sexy'/'feminine' (mostly men) or 'flattering' (mostly women). Obviously I'm generalising, but I have encountered men who have very negative reactions to women wearing 'masculine' clothes, likewise women who can't get their heads around why another woman might wear a fashion-y garment that they just like, rather than thinking about whether it accentuates their cleavage while hiding their bingo wings etc etc.

It just came to mind when you said it was a comfortable tweedy boyfriend coat he didn't like.

MatildaTheCat · 13/03/2015 15:46

It depends why. If he was to say, that colour drains you,mi would tend to listen. If it was about the fashion itself then no.

I bought a bright orange top a couple of weeks ago and foolishly asked DH if he liked it. No. I didn't care, he's not a bright orange top kinda guy. Then I got bleach on it anyway. Karma? Hmm

Silverjohnleggedit · 13/03/2015 16:38

Is comfy a good thing for a coat, I mean it's an odd thing to draw attention to. Is that the best thing about it because that might explain why your dh doesn't like it.
My dh loves me in everything except what I wore on our first date - which he found odd but in a way made him fall for me more....my dd is more likely to comment, she has very conservative, classic tastes, so I keep that in mind when she offers her opinion, sometimes I listen sometimes I don't.

twobambinos · 13/03/2015 17:29

I recently bought a coat that my dh hates. I think he hates it because its oversized. Ive never had so many compliments from other people while wearing this coat GrinI obviously kept it. However there have been things he has commented on before and I've returned them/ charity bagged them..

CointreauVersial · 13/03/2015 18:15

Hmm... tricky. I always value DH's opinion on my clothes and love the fact that he will be really honest about whether something suits me, or whether it is suitable for a particular occasion. I'm honest with him in return (he does get in a rut otherwise, and wears stuff to rags).

Having said that, I do have a few things he doesn't particularly like, and I will wear them regardless.

But I think if several people (DH, DCs, DSis) all said something was awful I probably wouldn't wear it again.

Always nicer to get these opinions before you splash the cash, though, isn't it? Grin

Onelittleguru · 13/03/2015 18:19

Don't wear it around him :) I get told if something 'doesn't look right' on me quite often by other half.....but if you feel comfortable in it and it makes you feel good wear it when out with friends

Charitygirl1 · 13/03/2015 18:31

Oh poo, boyfriend coats are classic 'man-repellers'. That's fashion - who gives a fuck?!

My theory is that most men have a fairly narrow range of clothes they really 'like' on women, greatly shaped by what women were wearing when they hit puberty. We can't be restricted by that!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 13/03/2015 18:35

If he said "that doesn't suit you/the shape is unflattering/oh how fucking original - are you some sort of fashion sheep" I might listen.

If he said "good GOD woman you look butch/slutty/mutton" then he could get tae fuck.

If I like something, I like it though. Other people's opinions would sway me only if I was unsure myself.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 13/03/2015 18:37

Also he is right about boyfriend coats - they suit no-one, except maybe Tracey Thorn.